the crab rangoon fanbase is dying

reskeet if you're a real gooner !!!

AWW THANK YOU BABE I LOVE YOU! THE TEETS HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFULLY YEETED!!

my car is absolutely packed with cedar mulch, flannels, composted manure, and queer fantasy books my therapist lent me to read while I recover from top surgery, and I think that’s very trans of me tbh

I’m having Emotions and just sighed really big to myself @electralyte.bsky.social just looked up and went “awww did the mental illness just increase?” anyway she’s an icon. immediately adding it to my list of her hilarious mean quotes

gock is OUT gömböc is IN you heard it here first

personal growth looks like staring at yourself in the mirror and asking “are your needs REALLY not being met in this relationship, or are you just hungry?” Fortunately, I don’t own a mirror so it looks like I’m staying an un-grown little guy forever

what did I do to deserve you. can I do it again

PSA: squash vine borers actually incredibly transphobic and i’m finally calling out their abusive + toxic behavior. they destroyed my zucchini last year and the whole time gaslit me into thinking I’d overwatered. I blocked them but they’re still laying eggs on my cucurbits :(

you: loves gock (unoriginal, we all love girldick + the word has bad mouthfeel)

me: loves gömböc (the first known convex three-dimensional mono-monostatic homogenous form. i.e. when resting on a flat surface, it has just one stable and one unstable point of equilibrium and can always right itself)

here I am, falling on this cross as a practical they/them, patiently explaining to all y’all transfemmes that your takes are like 60% good, 20% mid, and 20% absolutely fucking bananas

fellas is it self harm to join bluesky as a chronically outside they/them who until now has blissfully avoided having any kind of public social media presence