vartan (oopsallplants)
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vartan (oopsallplants)
@vartan.dev
Certified to not have donkey brains. Do you have such a certificate? Houseplant lover•software eng•black lives matter•trans rights are human rights
Nimbus sleeps against my body practically every night and still gets annoyed at me for having the audacity to shift slightly every 10 minutes until I fall asleep.

We both know its gonna happen little buddy and you stay anyways ❤️ . #cat
August 30, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Me today after replacing my coffee grinder and making a bunch of espresso shots that aren't wayyy watered down.
June 30, 2025 at 7:01 PM
"Bad Dragon Inflation" in Skyrim
May 1, 2025 at 5:28 PM
ordering in tonight
April 1, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Google Search/gemini is hallucinating that "chud" is antisemitic. so dumb.
March 24, 2025 at 10:03 PM
me: my license plates were stolen, can I get a replacement?
dmv: I'mma need you to fill this out by yesterday
February 26, 2025 at 9:59 PM
what the fuck?? This microsoft AI ad suggesting to do an eviction prank
February 4, 2025 at 9:27 AM
January 29, 2025 at 5:57 AM
Anyone drop their newports?
December 22, 2024 at 10:08 PM
Never go full jughead
December 17, 2024 at 6:22 PM
What in the crypto-brained fuck is this? I couldn't think of a stupider question if I tried.
December 10, 2024 at 11:21 PM
December 5, 2024 at 11:55 PM
I made a new "Bank locks" plugin for old school
#runescape
that allows you to lock items from being banked.

runelite.net/plugin-hub/s...

Ex. I often accidentally bank my Magic secateurs instead of turning them into the leprechaun. Never again! #osrs #runelite #2007scape
December 5, 2024 at 11:48 PM
Pretty sure one of these was my skibidi toilet
December 5, 2024 at 10:20 PM
I've always played as primarily a skiller but the ironman mode has pushed me to try more pvm. I'm not upset anymore about running dry on the Dragon Axe. Huge day for the account #osrs
November 24, 2024 at 2:47 AM
I never thought I'd get a fire cape in (old school) Runescape! #osrs
November 23, 2024 at 10:31 PM
It's funny enough that Trump specified "human" when he said the fries "Never touches the human hand,” but even funnier that he proceeds to repeatedly touch the damn fries with his contaminated hands.
October 21, 2024 at 5:58 PM
I… uhh…
September 22, 2024 at 11:35 PM
first time i’ve been in a conference room with a cuck chair
August 21, 2024 at 1:43 AM
what's your favorite tattoo? it’s this thigh wrap for me.
May 30, 2024 at 5:10 PM
It's "No meeting week" at the office again, and my calendar is still full
May 28, 2024 at 5:31 PM
look how they massacred my boy
May 22, 2024 at 8:48 PM
They really made "black hole cherry" candy that turns your poops black
May 22, 2024 at 6:17 PM
Our group of phantom thieves is known as the goon squad
May 16, 2024 at 12:57 AM
April 25, 2024 at 12:10 AM