Vanessa Grant
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vanessa.ba
Vanessa Grant
@vanessa.ba
#Salesforce badass BA, #Df22-#DF24 Speaker, and social media darling. Expert on nothing, but strong opinions about everything. #BABA

https://www.linkedin.com/in/realvanessagrant/
Sent to me by @sheaconsulting.bsky.social, but originating from Amanda Nielsen. SO GOOD.
September 4, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Maybe he’s a psychic #linkedin
August 14, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Tell me you use automated messaging without telling me you use automated messaging.
August 14, 2025 at 7:49 PM
When you’re at a three day leadership conference and are told you need to be dressed for a workout, but your boyfriend gave you a hickey. I dunno why we hide these things anyway. It just means I’m hot, dammit. I’m mildly embarrassed though.
August 11, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I saw a job posting from ClifyX and my brain read it as "Clitify" and then I had to get ChatGPT involved and yeah so now I own clitify.com. What should I do with it? There are so many other good slogans too! #adhd
August 8, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Why is LinkedIn.
August 7, 2025 at 6:03 PM
I found Jesus at #GenCon
August 2, 2025 at 9:03 PM
I can’t with LinkedIn today.
July 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I just can’t with LinkedIn today.
July 24, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Santa Barbara Dreamin’ hooked me up with a room for the night! Silly me didn’t realize it would be a dorm. The lights kept shutting off automatically and scaring me. I also forgot bath supplies, but I am happy to report Soft Soap did the trick. Still haven’t tried the green button, but tempted.
July 24, 2025 at 2:44 PM
When you meet with your signature success team and go "Oh hey you must be at the Salesforce office because @mikemartin.me and Guilda are behind you!"

She was unimpressed.
July 2, 2025 at 8:35 PM
June 30, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Shout out to my client in Chicago this week. Had my first post-covid in person workshops and they got us Portillo’s Italian beef one day and Lou Malnati’s pizza the previous day. They even sent me back to my hotel with Portillo’s famous chocolate cake! 🤤
June 13, 2025 at 6:50 PM
1. I happen to be in Chicago for a client, but apparently it’s also Connections week… so hit me up for evening activities or Friday breakfast?
2. First stop is Chicago deep dish pizza. As a New Yorker I feel shame, but I just mentally put it in the same category as shepherds pie so it’s ok.
June 11, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Like fuck Salesforce these days, but amen to all the amazing friends I’ve made through it. I’m in goddamned Paris! The locals are teaching my boyfriend team chants! We are so happy.
May 31, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Some day I’ll have an OnlyFans account where it’s just me chopping onions, but I’m pretending to be really emotionally impacted about your problems.
May 20, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Like… I didn’t know how loved I was until the project ended. Thank you, Katy Perry. 🚀

#salesforce #salesforceconsultant #salesforceba #consultantlife #shirtforce
April 16, 2025 at 11:46 PM
When you get an opportunity to pick up a kid you’ve known his whole life at his middle school. Fuck I love being the weird auntie.
April 5, 2025 at 7:49 PM
THIS DRUNK BISH IS NOW AN ARCHITECT!
April 1, 2025 at 7:35 AM
In January I acquired 13 certification vouchers that expire March 31 and gave most away. Today is March 31 so I thought I’d check if any didn’t get used…welp… looks like I am taking sharing & viz again in an hour or so. I’m sleepy and tipsy. Should be great. #yolo
April 1, 2025 at 4:42 AM
At #TDX25, I got a chance to meet some of the speakers for the first-ever QA Dreamin' happening TOMORROW (March 18). It is virtual, free, and ALL #Salesforce projects benefit when the entire team understands the value of proper testing. Register here: qadreamin.com
March 17, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Winning combination.
March 15, 2025 at 4:48 PM
It's not that deep.
March 13, 2025 at 8:15 PM
JAZZ HANDS at today's SFBA Meet Up!
January 28, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Huge thanks to @janeenm.bsky.social for my new shirt. Came in particularly accurate today.
December 13, 2024 at 10:28 PM