My cats drank the moon water I set out and now they are speaking in dead languages
January 30, 2025 at 11:35 PM
My cats drank the moon water I set out and now they are speaking in dead languages
Sometimes I go to sport events just so I can eat a stadium hotdog. I feel like it really connects me with my inner American in a way other things just cannot
January 25, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Sometimes I go to sport events just so I can eat a stadium hotdog. I feel like it really connects me with my inner American in a way other things just cannot
I pee'd on a covid test. I'm going to be a mother.
January 12, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I pee'd on a covid test. I'm going to be a mother.
I have two moods: silly goofy girl and incredibly distressed
December 29, 2024 at 5:27 AM
I have two moods: silly goofy girl and incredibly distressed
Apparently I refer to my wife as "chat" a lot. Chat when will the haters leave me alone?
December 28, 2024 at 12:08 AM
Apparently I refer to my wife as "chat" a lot. Chat when will the haters leave me alone?
Can't wait to go to work tomorrow so I can get off of work and anxiously wait to go to work
December 18, 2024 at 4:38 AM
Can't wait to go to work tomorrow so I can get off of work and anxiously wait to go to work
I didn't get the job 🥳
December 18, 2024 at 2:03 AM
I didn't get the job 🥳
Becoming president so I can lift the ops out of poverty and get them into homes. Then creating an HOA in their neighborhood and fining them endlessly until they are impoverished again. Just to give them a taste
December 14, 2024 at 5:31 PM
Becoming president so I can lift the ops out of poverty and get them into homes. Then creating an HOA in their neighborhood and fining them endlessly until they are impoverished again. Just to give them a taste
4-way stop? You mean the cowards gambit? I'm rolling those dice all day long baby.
December 14, 2024 at 5:25 PM
4-way stop? You mean the cowards gambit? I'm rolling those dice all day long baby.
Santa just trucked grandma on 4th and goal and gridded on her in the end zone
December 14, 2024 at 5:25 PM
Santa just trucked grandma on 4th and goal and gridded on her in the end zone
Small but mighty like that dab from 2019, that still has me convinced my car is too big
December 14, 2024 at 5:02 PM
Small but mighty like that dab from 2019, that still has me convinced my car is too big
My tulpa can beat up your tulpa
December 13, 2024 at 1:09 PM
My tulpa can beat up your tulpa
This is my 3 year old cat Muffler he likes drinking PBR and rocking out to Led Zeppelin
December 11, 2024 at 5:38 AM
This is my 3 year old cat Muffler he likes drinking PBR and rocking out to Led Zeppelin
Getting diamonds for my glock because it's so loyal
December 11, 2024 at 5:32 AM
Getting diamonds for my glock because it's so loyal
I think it would be cool if every bee was my friend. I would take them to the movies and to the beach.
December 11, 2024 at 5:30 AM
I think it would be cool if every bee was my friend. I would take them to the movies and to the beach.
Big fan of that guy who did that thing
December 5, 2024 at 2:43 AM
Big fan of that guy who did that thing
I think most environments should have a chicken or two...
December 4, 2024 at 3:46 AM
I think most environments should have a chicken or two...
*Transes ur gender* sorry oomfie, ur based 😔
December 4, 2024 at 3:19 AM
*Transes ur gender* sorry oomfie, ur based 😔
Sup bro *unbeats ur meat*
December 4, 2024 at 3:14 AM
Sup bro *unbeats ur meat*
*drinks an intimidating amount of milk* you want some -BURP- you want some before this udder gets raw? *Suckles a second ungodly amount of milk from beneath the cow*
December 4, 2024 at 3:11 AM
*drinks an intimidating amount of milk* you want some -BURP- you want some before this udder gets raw? *Suckles a second ungodly amount of milk from beneath the cow*
The NFL but it's the nation friends league and we are all friends
December 3, 2024 at 3:05 PM
The NFL but it's the nation friends league and we are all friends
I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE
December 1, 2024 at 5:13 AM
I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE
It's like every day the right decides to ruin something I have a deep personal connection with. IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT
December 1, 2024 at 4:59 AM
It's like every day the right decides to ruin something I have a deep personal connection with. IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT
Pornhub premium family account
November 30, 2024 at 4:43 AM
Pornhub premium family account