Maxi Sportello
@valorstealer.bsky.social
Louisiana Red Superspreader
Pinned
Don’t organize—MOURN!
Im the boy who cried dead trump
February 5, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Im the boy who cried dead trump
Biophysics majors be like “sorry, cant tonight, i have to shoot a man out of a canon at 8am”
February 5, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Biophysics majors be like “sorry, cant tonight, i have to shoot a man out of a canon at 8am”
Whenever theyre mean to miss piggy
February 5, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Whenever theyre mean to miss piggy
Well, chinga tu madre and call me carson!
February 1, 2026 at 6:04 PM
Well, chinga tu madre and call me carson!
We discerned the French Lie but were daft enough to call it the American Dream
February 1, 2026 at 4:52 PM
We discerned the French Lie but were daft enough to call it the American Dream
Underrated Eddington motif is when everyone attributed malicious intent to Michael despite him just standing there like 🧍🏿♂️
January 30, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Underrated Eddington motif is when everyone attributed malicious intent to Michael despite him just standing there like 🧍🏿♂️
Bbw stands for baby back wibs
January 29, 2026 at 12:39 PM
Bbw stands for baby back wibs
Welcome to Nothing Burger im jennette mccurdy ill be your server
January 29, 2026 at 3:21 AM
Welcome to Nothing Burger im jennette mccurdy ill be your server
Greg Bovine, you have done the Burger Reich proud 🫡🇺🇸 you may hang up yourself now, soldier.
January 27, 2026 at 7:49 AM
Greg Bovine, you have done the Burger Reich proud 🫡🇺🇸 you may hang up yourself now, soldier.
Oh the weather outside’s Mamdani,
And fire is Zohran Mamdani
And fire is Zohran Mamdani
January 26, 2026 at 7:48 PM
Oh the weather outside’s Mamdani,
And fire is Zohran Mamdani
And fire is Zohran Mamdani
I couldve sworn noam chomsky died some time ago
January 26, 2026 at 3:51 AM
I couldve sworn noam chomsky died some time ago
I’m not sure if you’ve heard or not, but Jim Kringle passed away.
January 24, 2026 at 6:41 PM
I’m not sure if you’ve heard or not, but Jim Kringle passed away.
Bim bam bim bam boom
January 23, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Bim bam bim bam boom
Don’t organize—MOURN!
January 23, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Don’t organize—MOURN!
How bout some ortolan, pretty boy?
January 23, 2026 at 5:33 AM
How bout some ortolan, pretty boy?
Bleeding Edge has the most typos out of any Pynchon novel. Surely he meant to do that. Rabbis study the torah down to text placement and the spacing between letters. If they miswrite a word copying it down, they must restart. If theres a typo, it means something. And dont call me Shirley.
January 23, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Bleeding Edge has the most typos out of any Pynchon novel. Surely he meant to do that. Rabbis study the torah down to text placement and the spacing between letters. If they miswrite a word copying it down, they must restart. If theres a typo, it means something. And dont call me Shirley.
Trump (delivering it like he would obama’s full government): thomas…RUGGLES…pynchon jr
January 23, 2026 at 5:21 AM
Trump (delivering it like he would obama’s full government): thomas…RUGGLES…pynchon jr
So if you’ve a date in Constantinople,
She’ll be deadnaming Istanbul
She’ll be deadnaming Istanbul
January 23, 2026 at 5:19 AM
So if you’ve a date in Constantinople,
She’ll be deadnaming Istanbul
She’ll be deadnaming Istanbul
Crazy that sam reich’s dad is robert reich. Sam could probably throw shawty like a lawn dart
January 23, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Crazy that sam reich’s dad is robert reich. Sam could probably throw shawty like a lawn dart
Yourpa dadpa smellspa likepa a womanpa
January 23, 2026 at 5:14 AM
Yourpa dadpa smellspa likepa a womanpa
Giant pink bunny on google earth
January 23, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Giant pink bunny on google earth
Peter, Lois, Megan too,
Brian dog and baby Stew,
Quagmire gig-gi-ti goo (that’s true)
Brian dog and baby Stew,
Quagmire gig-gi-ti goo (that’s true)
January 23, 2026 at 4:47 AM
Peter, Lois, Megan too,
Brian dog and baby Stew,
Quagmire gig-gi-ti goo (that’s true)
Brian dog and baby Stew,
Quagmire gig-gi-ti goo (that’s true)
Simon, including but not limited to Garfunkel
January 23, 2026 at 4:43 AM
Simon, including but not limited to Garfunkel
Imagine being a british antisemite. Backstabber
January 23, 2026 at 4:42 AM
Imagine being a british antisemite. Backstabber
Being really high is what makes me productive im afraid. It’s almost midnight i just hit the oil and now all i can think about is shampooing the carpets at the hotel i work at
January 23, 2026 at 4:36 AM
Being really high is what makes me productive im afraid. It’s almost midnight i just hit the oil and now all i can think about is shampooing the carpets at the hotel i work at