When the ground is getting green, you know the aurora is SUPER bright…

That’s a cuck chair now.

Remember, universal healthcare and student loan debt forgiveness are too expensive but buying Greenland is totally reasonable cause it wouldn’t help a single person with a net worth under $10 mil.

If the president-elect could stop very loudly talking about literal conquest and territorial expansion into our allies, that’d be nice. Just a minor request, is all. Seems pretty reasonable of an ask, I dunno.

“Why are people suddenly acting violent after decades of systematically destroying social safety nets, oversight, and dropping any pretense of hiding the obvious preferential treatment of the rich while food, education, and housing become unaffordable and the job market is atrocious?”

What?

just blurted out in class "yes, you have to cite where you got your info. in a world in which lying loudly is the only thing that seems to get rewarded, citing your sources is an act of resistance" and folks, I really believe that.

Some folks are pretty good seeing things coming.

The TikTok execs could just call up Trump and be like "nah dawg, we checked the stats, 95% of all videos posted to our platform are about how great and large your penis is" and suddenly the ban will go away

Shit man I was having a good morning but I just inhaled a piece of muffin by accident and now I think I may have died who wants my stuff?

The reason you should subscribe to my newsletter is because I use highly descriptive words, like "shitrocked"

When I was 20 in college, I met my then-girlfriend’s family for the first time at some restaurant.

Her dad asked my age as the waiter was coming around asking for drinks. I looked at him deadpan, said, “40” and did not break eye contact.

I’ll never forget the journey I saw that man take.

Hey so god isn’t real because muscle spasms and strains exist

Also spines in general are kinda shiddy

Sorry about your religion, but my back hurts, so