@vadric.bsky.social
Middling fellow following artists. Also, I'm old. Very, very old... Oy my schmeghegi... But yeah, 18 is fairly well in my rear view mirror now.
Things I enjoyed but ended up dropping because I was too shaky, too sick, too tired... I have my answer, but I don't know if it means I'll get back much. I was able to shoulder it some when I was younger, less so now.
I suppose that's life. No one said it's fair. Just wish it could ease up a touch.
I suppose that's life. No one said it's fair. Just wish it could ease up a touch.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Things I enjoyed but ended up dropping because I was too shaky, too sick, too tired... I have my answer, but I don't know if it means I'll get back much. I was able to shoulder it some when I was younger, less so now.
I suppose that's life. No one said it's fair. Just wish it could ease up a touch.
I suppose that's life. No one said it's fair. Just wish it could ease up a touch.
I think part of it is considering how long this took, and how many years have already passed. I know it doesn't help, and it's better to look ahead, but I can't quite shake the feeling. I lost a lot of time to something we just couldn't get identified.
Another part: it's mostly symptom management.
Another part: it's mostly symptom management.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I think part of it is considering how long this took, and how many years have already passed. I know it doesn't help, and it's better to look ahead, but I can't quite shake the feeling. I lost a lot of time to something we just couldn't get identified.
Another part: it's mostly symptom management.
Another part: it's mostly symptom management.
Anyway, positive test. I have some kind of autonomic disorder. Exact diagnosis is pending. But, my tremors, the trouble sleeping, the fatigue and mild nausea, even the feeling like I need to lie down rather than do what I'd like to do. An answer at last for all of it!
So why do I feel discouraged?
So why do I feel discouraged?
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Anyway, positive test. I have some kind of autonomic disorder. Exact diagnosis is pending. But, my tremors, the trouble sleeping, the fatigue and mild nausea, even the feeling like I need to lie down rather than do what I'd like to do. An answer at last for all of it!
So why do I feel discouraged?
So why do I feel discouraged?
Much credit to the person administering the test. They saw the signs of distress and responded quickly and calmly. Their quick and professional reaction kept it from becoming an emergency. I will never forget that feeling, though: my body starting to fail, pain in each strained, incomplete breath...
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Much credit to the person administering the test. They saw the signs of distress and responded quickly and calmly. Their quick and professional reaction kept it from becoming an emergency. I will never forget that feeling, though: my body starting to fail, pain in each strained, incomplete breath...
Went back to the specialist I saw for the tremors, a neurologist, and he referred me to a specialized neurologist. Went through a test: the tilt-table test. They got a result... Oh boy, did they get a result.
The floor fell out under my blood pressure and I began to go into shock. Just "began"...
The floor fell out under my blood pressure and I began to go into shock. Just "began"...
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Went back to the specialist I saw for the tremors, a neurologist, and he referred me to a specialized neurologist. Went through a test: the tilt-table test. They got a result... Oh boy, did they get a result.
The floor fell out under my blood pressure and I began to go into shock. Just "began"...
The floor fell out under my blood pressure and I began to go into shock. Just "began"...
Dysautonomia is a category of diagnoses involving the autonomic nervous system. You know, the one that manages vital functions and has the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) systems. My symptoms aligned with various conditions under that category. Was that it?
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Dysautonomia is a category of diagnoses involving the autonomic nervous system. You know, the one that manages vital functions and has the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) systems. My symptoms aligned with various conditions under that category. Was that it?
Tackling the sleep problem helped... some. Other symptoms persisted even in the absence of the regular, oppressive tiredness. Can the diagnosis I got present these other symptoms?
No. But, that diagnosis can be a symptom itself, and it may all well point to a different sort of nervous disorder.
No. But, that diagnosis can be a symptom itself, and it may all well point to a different sort of nervous disorder.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Tackling the sleep problem helped... some. Other symptoms persisted even in the absence of the regular, oppressive tiredness. Can the diagnosis I got present these other symptoms?
No. But, that diagnosis can be a symptom itself, and it may all well point to a different sort of nervous disorder.
No. But, that diagnosis can be a symptom itself, and it may all well point to a different sort of nervous disorder.
I finally changed my approach. I stopped trying to shotgun my symptoms at the doctor and hope it clicked. Took on one symptom at a time. What bothered me most?
First, these periodic tremors. Okay, they're annoying but harmless. Then I looked at sleep. Things should improve if I sleep well, right?
First, these periodic tremors. Okay, they're annoying but harmless. Then I looked at sleep. Things should improve if I sleep well, right?
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I finally changed my approach. I stopped trying to shotgun my symptoms at the doctor and hope it clicked. Took on one symptom at a time. What bothered me most?
First, these periodic tremors. Okay, they're annoying but harmless. Then I looked at sleep. Things should improve if I sleep well, right?
First, these periodic tremors. Okay, they're annoying but harmless. Then I looked at sleep. Things should improve if I sleep well, right?
I would tell myself I'm imagining it. I'm angling for it. I just want an excuse. I'm not getting these things done because, deep down, I clearly just don't want to do it! Nothing is wrong! I just have to push through it! But then, every time, things would sink. Those sick feelings would get worse.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I would tell myself I'm imagining it. I'm angling for it. I just want an excuse. I'm not getting these things done because, deep down, I clearly just don't want to do it! Nothing is wrong! I just have to push through it! But then, every time, things would sink. Those sick feelings would get worse.
I went back and forth for years. The only evidence I had that I should feel better? A handful of days where I felt fine, just a few. It wasn't even something like "ready to take on the world" levels of energy. That was a truly rare event. No, I was just fine, but that was the exception not the rule.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I went back and forth for years. The only evidence I had that I should feel better? A handful of days where I felt fine, just a few. It wasn't even something like "ready to take on the world" levels of energy. That was a truly rare event. No, I was just fine, but that was the exception not the rule.
I'd go to my primary care physician, get told everything looks okay. They'd talk options, but they're limited since there's no real diagnosis. At some point, you get some signs: just small and subtle things. There's an irritation. You keep complaining, keep showing up, and everything looks fine.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I'd go to my primary care physician, get told everything looks okay. They'd talk options, but they're limited since there's no real diagnosis. At some point, you get some signs: just small and subtle things. There's an irritation. You keep complaining, keep showing up, and everything looks fine.
There was always this lingering sense of fatigue and malaise: just generally unwell. Oh, it wasn't intolerable, but I would say it was a lot of just tolerating it as much as I could.
It got in the way of school, later work, and certainly my hobbies for as long as I can remember. Never knew why.
It got in the way of school, later work, and certainly my hobbies for as long as I can remember. Never knew why.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
There was always this lingering sense of fatigue and malaise: just generally unwell. Oh, it wasn't intolerable, but I would say it was a lot of just tolerating it as much as I could.
It got in the way of school, later work, and certainly my hobbies for as long as I can remember. Never knew why.
It got in the way of school, later work, and certainly my hobbies for as long as I can remember. Never knew why.
Anyway, please feel free to move onto something more fun. This is mostly me trying to put it out somewhere in the ether as I ponder.
When I was younger, I would draw and write. Still want to do it. Been telling myself I'll get back to it for years. And yet, there was always some undefined obstacle.
When I was younger, I would draw and write. Still want to do it. Been telling myself I'll get back to it for years. And yet, there was always some undefined obstacle.
November 1, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Anyway, please feel free to move onto something more fun. This is mostly me trying to put it out somewhere in the ether as I ponder.
When I was younger, I would draw and write. Still want to do it. Been telling myself I'll get back to it for years. And yet, there was always some undefined obstacle.
When I was younger, I would draw and write. Still want to do it. Been telling myself I'll get back to it for years. And yet, there was always some undefined obstacle.
"No one can stop these shenanigans of growth."
"It's not 'shenanigans of growth.' It's 'growth shenanigans.'"
"Thank you, but I prefer it my way."
"It's not 'shenanigans of growth.' It's 'growth shenanigans.'"
"Thank you, but I prefer it my way."
January 31, 2025 at 3:20 AM
"No one can stop these shenanigans of growth."
"It's not 'shenanigans of growth.' It's 'growth shenanigans.'"
"Thank you, but I prefer it my way."
"It's not 'shenanigans of growth.' It's 'growth shenanigans.'"
"Thank you, but I prefer it my way."
Happy birthday* @ryuakira.bsky.social!
*It is NOT Ryu's birthday yet (read "Done up awhile back" in the OP), but I wasn't done with the joke yet.
Might be now.
Maybe.
*It is NOT Ryu's birthday yet (read "Done up awhile back" in the OP), but I wasn't done with the joke yet.
Might be now.
Maybe.
January 29, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Happy birthday* @ryuakira.bsky.social!
*It is NOT Ryu's birthday yet (read "Done up awhile back" in the OP), but I wasn't done with the joke yet.
Might be now.
Maybe.
*It is NOT Ryu's birthday yet (read "Done up awhile back" in the OP), but I wasn't done with the joke yet.
Might be now.
Maybe.
I do not think you need to apologize for anything. You have an incredible talent and it is a privilege that you share your artwork with us. It is better to know you are keeping yourself at a comfortable pace than being overwhelmed, so thank you for doing what you can with what you do!
December 1, 2024 at 5:01 PM
I do not think you need to apologize for anything. You have an incredible talent and it is a privilege that you share your artwork with us. It is better to know you are keeping yourself at a comfortable pace than being overwhelmed, so thank you for doing what you can with what you do!
Worst case of false advertising ever. The industry should be required to hire you as a consultant for all things growth related!
December 1, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Worst case of false advertising ever. The industry should be required to hire you as a consultant for all things growth related!
The point is to accentuate no point! More specifically, the point is to highlight that which has curvature. Or, at least can have curvature when given a boost... Perhaps Amelia can help you!
November 24, 2024 at 7:42 PM
The point is to accentuate no point! More specifically, the point is to highlight that which has curvature. Or, at least can have curvature when given a boost... Perhaps Amelia can help you!
Remembering that Cheth repeated the question and Phaedra still wouldn't answer.
She has to answer eventually!
She has to answer eventually!
November 23, 2024 at 5:57 AM
Remembering that Cheth repeated the question and Phaedra still wouldn't answer.
She has to answer eventually!
She has to answer eventually!
Some of us are math nerds.
And we care about the mathematics.
And that's okay.
And we care about the mathematics.
And that's okay.
November 16, 2024 at 1:35 AM
Some of us are math nerds.
And we care about the mathematics.
And that's okay.
And we care about the mathematics.
And that's okay.
No one does! That's the beauty of it.
November 15, 2024 at 3:46 AM
No one does! That's the beauty of it.
Who is the Gloam-Eyed Queen? Could it be Melina? Or maybe...
Wait, crap, I misread that.
Wait, crap, I misread that.
November 15, 2024 at 3:41 AM
Who is the Gloam-Eyed Queen? Could it be Melina? Or maybe...
Wait, crap, I misread that.
Wait, crap, I misread that.
"Agh! I haven't nearly enough in this bucket to clean your stimky hide! CURSE YOU, PAIL!"
October 28, 2024 at 2:37 AM
"Agh! I haven't nearly enough in this bucket to clean your stimky hide! CURSE YOU, PAIL!"
Ah, le Gran Tittes mountain range. So majestic.
October 27, 2024 at 4:43 PM
Ah, le Gran Tittes mountain range. So majestic.