Idk how or why... but being in fandom almost feels like a job or a massive chore. We all are supposed to be here to have fun and let lose... but there's an algorithm and invisible rules that have been placed down. You can't post things that won't be picked up by the algorithm... i hate that.

I enjoy my practice when I draw... but it makes me kinda sad because in my mind, I'm constantly like "I'll never be able to create anything that people actually want to see unless it's drawn fanart." So, I don't really post stories or edits anymore like I used to years ago.

It should go without saying that within fandom, fanart is much popular and well received compared to other outlets such as fanfics, fan songs, fan edits, etc. They are also popular but not as popular as fanart. So, I always felt that the only way to be seen is to draw.

Ughh, for legal reasons this is a joke. 😋

It's panic inducing. I wish people knew that. Sometimes, I'll choose to do something strange and unorthodox. It's not because I'm weird or trying to make my life hard. It's because It's MY life and I can make it hard if I want. It's about personal choice.

It makes me feel like a vulnerable child again... I like having agency.. but the people in my life won't give me that. It sends me into a panic. I panic when I'm not allowed to say no... because I feel like I'm vulnerable again. I hate having no control but people still take from me.

So, now that I'm an adult... I like taking control of my life in every way I can. I leave whenever I want. Drink whenever I want. Wear whatever I want. So, it frustrates me when others try to butt in and tell me what to do with myself.

i imagine her that way as well,, plus that one thing they do where they bait you into embarrassing yourself by asking loaded questions. .

Accidentally deleted

Extra photos, Ray (puffball version) was requested to be with them

Happy Birthdayyy!! ^v^