Urban Cassette
@urbancassette.bsky.social
Dating in midlife. Toronto.
The parts nobody mentions.
Weekly essays on what you don't
see coming in the second half.
→ written slowly
🔗 urbancassette.com
The parts nobody mentions.
Weekly essays on what you don't
see coming in the second half.
→ written slowly
🔗 urbancassette.com
I know the sound of my neighbor’s late-night shoe drop. I recognize their cough through the wall. I can predict when they get home by the click of their door.
But I’ve never learned their name.
www.urbancassette.com/p/living-adj...
But I’ve never learned their name.
www.urbancassette.com/p/living-adj...
Living Adjacent
Proximity without connection, and the strange intimacy of being recognized online but ignored in the elevator.
www.urbancassette.com
January 28, 2026 at 1:11 PM
I know the sound of my neighbor’s late-night shoe drop. I recognize their cough through the wall. I can predict when they get home by the click of their door.
But I’ve never learned their name.
www.urbancassette.com/p/living-adj...
But I’ve never learned their name.
www.urbancassette.com/p/living-adj...
We share walls, plumbing, morning moods. We live inside each other’s rhythms without ever learning a name. Inches apart. Worlds away.
January 27, 2026 at 12:10 PM
We share walls, plumbing, morning moods. We live inside each other’s rhythms without ever learning a name. Inches apart. Worlds away.
What am I supposed to do with a vault of moments I never revisit?
Some people curate yearbooks of their lives. Some ruthlessly delete. Some leave the mess untouched because sorting feels like heartbreak.
Most of us do a confused mixture of all three. | 🔗 Link in bio
Some people curate yearbooks of their lives. Some ruthlessly delete. Some leave the mess untouched because sorting feels like heartbreak.
Most of us do a confused mixture of all three. | 🔗 Link in bio
January 25, 2026 at 1:04 PM
What am I supposed to do with a vault of moments I never revisit?
Some people curate yearbooks of their lives. Some ruthlessly delete. Some leave the mess untouched because sorting feels like heartbreak.
Most of us do a confused mixture of all three. | 🔗 Link in bio
Some people curate yearbooks of their lives. Some ruthlessly delete. Some leave the mess untouched because sorting feels like heartbreak.
Most of us do a confused mixture of all three. | 🔗 Link in bio
We became archivists of our own lives without permission.
Thousands of tiny proofs we existed, proof we won’t revisit but can’t part with.
Latest at Urban Cassette: The Weight of the Archive
www.urbancassette.com/p/the-weight...
Thousands of tiny proofs we existed, proof we won’t revisit but can’t part with.
Latest at Urban Cassette: The Weight of the Archive
www.urbancassette.com/p/the-weight...
The Weight of the Archive
The photos we take, the memories we store, and the quiet burden of carrying a digital life.
www.urbancassette.com
January 23, 2026 at 12:14 PM
We became archivists of our own lives without permission.
Thousands of tiny proofs we existed, proof we won’t revisit but can’t part with.
Latest at Urban Cassette: The Weight of the Archive
www.urbancassette.com/p/the-weight...
Thousands of tiny proofs we existed, proof we won’t revisit but can’t part with.
Latest at Urban Cassette: The Weight of the Archive
www.urbancassette.com/p/the-weight...
The past belongs in the rearview. It’s supposed to be smaller than the road ahead.
January 18, 2026 at 1:11 PM
The past belongs in the rearview. It’s supposed to be smaller than the road ahead.
sometimes the ghost isn’t a person.
sometimes the ghost is you.
old photos. old threads. old versions of yourself that the algorithm keeps resurfacing like you need a reminder of who you used to be.
#midlife #essay #substack #digitalghosts
sometimes the ghost is you.
old photos. old threads. old versions of yourself that the algorithm keeps resurfacing like you need a reminder of who you used to be.
#midlife #essay #substack #digitalghosts
January 17, 2026 at 1:43 PM
sometimes the ghost isn’t a person.
sometimes the ghost is you.
old photos. old threads. old versions of yourself that the algorithm keeps resurfacing like you need a reminder of who you used to be.
#midlife #essay #substack #digitalghosts
sometimes the ghost is you.
old photos. old threads. old versions of yourself that the algorithm keeps resurfacing like you need a reminder of who you used to be.
#midlife #essay #substack #digitalghosts
Can’t delete their number.
Can’t finish the convo.
But they’re not in your life anymore either.
We carry digital ghosts now.
Can’t finish the convo.
But they’re not in your life anymore either.
We carry digital ghosts now.
January 16, 2026 at 12:34 PM
Can’t delete their number.
Can’t finish the convo.
But they’re not in your life anymore either.
We carry digital ghosts now.
Can’t finish the convo.
But they’re not in your life anymore either.
We carry digital ghosts now.
Your phone is a graveyard of people who used to matter.
Digital Ghosts | Link in bio.
Digital Ghosts | Link in bio.
January 15, 2026 at 8:56 PM
Your phone is a graveyard of people who used to matter.
Digital Ghosts | Link in bio.
Digital Ghosts | Link in bio.
We carry digital ghosts now.
People who vanished from your life but their messages are still on your phone. Photos you can't delete. Conversations that stopped mid-sentence.
They're gone. But the data stays.
New essay: Digital Ghosts
substack.com/@urbancasset...
People who vanished from your life but their messages are still on your phone. Photos you can't delete. Conversations that stopped mid-sentence.
They're gone. But the data stays.
New essay: Digital Ghosts
substack.com/@urbancasset...
Urban Cassette (@urbancassette)
Digital Ghosts:
On the people we still carry online long after they're gone.
On conversations that stopped mid-sentence. Threads left hanging. The digital afterlife nobody asked for.
On what happen...
substack.com
January 14, 2026 at 1:05 AM
We carry digital ghosts now.
People who vanished from your life but their messages are still on your phone. Photos you can't delete. Conversations that stopped mid-sentence.
They're gone. But the data stays.
New essay: Digital Ghosts
substack.com/@urbancasset...
People who vanished from your life but their messages are still on your phone. Photos you can't delete. Conversations that stopped mid-sentence.
They're gone. But the data stays.
New essay: Digital Ghosts
substack.com/@urbancasset...
At some point in your 40s, you stop treating your possessions like status updates and start treating them like tools.
Tools don't suddenly stop working just because a newer version exists.
New essay: Manual Mode
urbancassette.substack.com/p/manual-mode
Tools don't suddenly stop working just because a newer version exists.
New essay: Manual Mode
urbancassette.substack.com/p/manual-mode
Manual Mode
On resisting upgrades in a world designed to make you feel obsolete.
urbancassette.substack.com
January 6, 2026 at 8:09 PM
At some point in your 40s, you stop treating your possessions like status updates and start treating them like tools.
Tools don't suddenly stop working just because a newer version exists.
New essay: Manual Mode
urbancassette.substack.com/p/manual-mode
Tools don't suddenly stop working just because a newer version exists.
New essay: Manual Mode
urbancassette.substack.com/p/manual-mode
Energy is the real compatibility.
Not résumés. Not profiles. Not curated charm.
Just: do they show up? Do they ask real questions? Do they suggest real times?
From Match Energy, Not Résumés.
Not résumés. Not profiles. Not curated charm.
Just: do they show up? Do they ask real questions? Do they suggest real times?
From Match Energy, Not Résumés.
January 3, 2026 at 6:26 AM
Energy is the real compatibility.
Not résumés. Not profiles. Not curated charm.
Just: do they show up? Do they ask real questions? Do they suggest real times?
From Match Energy, Not Résumés.
Not résumés. Not profiles. Not curated charm.
Just: do they show up? Do they ask real questions? Do they suggest real times?
From Match Energy, Not Résumés.
Midlife is wild — your body suddenly starts talking back.
Tomorrow’s essay is about the aches, the signals, the receipts your body keeps… and how we learn to respond.
Tomorrow’s essay is about the aches, the signals, the receipts your body keeps… and how we learn to respond.
December 23, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Midlife is wild — your body suddenly starts talking back.
Tomorrow’s essay is about the aches, the signals, the receipts your body keeps… and how we learn to respond.
Tomorrow’s essay is about the aches, the signals, the receipts your body keeps… and how we learn to respond.
New essay: Latency Control
The space between stimulus and response isn't inefficiency; it's where your life actually happens.
On choosing what loads fast and what loads slow.
substack.com/@urbancasset...
The space between stimulus and response isn't inefficiency; it's where your life actually happens.
On choosing what loads fast and what loads slow.
substack.com/@urbancasset...
Latency Control
A week-long experiment in slowing down, answering less instantly, and seeing what happens when the world doesn’t get your reaction on demand.
substack.com
December 9, 2025 at 10:20 PM
New essay: Latency Control
The space between stimulus and response isn't inefficiency; it's where your life actually happens.
On choosing what loads fast and what loads slow.
substack.com/@urbancasset...
The space between stimulus and response isn't inefficiency; it's where your life actually happens.
On choosing what loads fast and what loads slow.
substack.com/@urbancasset...
Latency is the word tech uses for the delay between cause and effect.
In machines, low latency is a dream.
In humans, zero latency is a nervous system on fire.
New essay tomorrow: Latency Control
In machines, low latency is a dream.
In humans, zero latency is a nervous system on fire.
New essay tomorrow: Latency Control
December 8, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Latency is the word tech uses for the delay between cause and effect.
In machines, low latency is a dream.
In humans, zero latency is a nervous system on fire.
New essay tomorrow: Latency Control
In machines, low latency is a dream.
In humans, zero latency is a nervous system on fire.
New essay tomorrow: Latency Control
I mean it’s exhausting out here…
December 6, 2025 at 6:47 PM
I mean it’s exhausting out here…
New essay on Urban Cassette.
On dating, logistics as a love language, and why the right energy is worth more than the perfect résumé.
Full piece on Substack.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
On dating, logistics as a love language, and why the right energy is worth more than the perfect résumé.
Full piece on Substack.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
December 6, 2025 at 1:16 PM
New essay on Urban Cassette.
On dating, logistics as a love language, and why the right energy is worth more than the perfect résumé.
Full piece on Substack.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
On dating, logistics as a love language, and why the right energy is worth more than the perfect résumé.
Full piece on Substack.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
Someone asked why clarity feels rare in dating now. Maybe because everyone is performing instead of arriving. 🤔
December 4, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Someone asked why clarity feels rare in dating now. Maybe because everyone is performing instead of arriving. 🤔
New Urban Cassette essay is up.
It’s about effort, adult clarity, and the small logistics that tell you everything long before chemistry does.
“We talk like poets, plan like amateurs, and disappear like magicians.”
Match energy, not résumés.
Link in bio.
It’s about effort, adult clarity, and the small logistics that tell you everything long before chemistry does.
“We talk like poets, plan like amateurs, and disappear like magicians.”
Match energy, not résumés.
Link in bio.
December 2, 2025 at 8:47 PM
New Urban Cassette essay is up.
It’s about effort, adult clarity, and the small logistics that tell you everything long before chemistry does.
“We talk like poets, plan like amateurs, and disappear like magicians.”
Match energy, not résumés.
Link in bio.
It’s about effort, adult clarity, and the small logistics that tell you everything long before chemistry does.
“We talk like poets, plan like amateurs, and disappear like magicians.”
Match energy, not résumés.
Link in bio.
New Urban Cassette essay just dropped!
On dating without theatrics, clarity over spectacle, and why “Wednesday at 7, quiet table” is underrated romance.
If the apps feel like a crowded room with no eye contact, this one might resonate.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
On dating without theatrics, clarity over spectacle, and why “Wednesday at 7, quiet table” is underrated romance.
If the apps feel like a crowded room with no eye contact, this one might resonate.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
Match Energy, Not Résumés
Apps create abundance; energy reveals truth. Here’s how I stopped auditioning and started paying attention.
urbancassette.substack.com
December 2, 2025 at 11:11 AM
New Urban Cassette essay just dropped!
On dating without theatrics, clarity over spectacle, and why “Wednesday at 7, quiet table” is underrated romance.
If the apps feel like a crowded room with no eye contact, this one might resonate.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
On dating without theatrics, clarity over spectacle, and why “Wednesday at 7, quiet table” is underrated romance.
If the apps feel like a crowded room with no eye contact, this one might resonate.
→ Match energy, not résumés.
Tomorrow’s essay is about the moment you stop dating people’s profiles and start dating their energy. It changes everything.
December 1, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Tomorrow’s essay is about the moment you stop dating people’s profiles and start dating their energy. It changes everything.
Slow isn’t weakness. Slow is sovereignty.
November 29, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Slow isn’t weakness. Slow is sovereignty.
Published the first Urban Cassette essay, a quiet piece about attention, midlife clarity, and learning to hear the signal under the decade’s noise.
Written slowly, from Toronto.
Written slowly, from Toronto.
The Signal Under the Noise
On dating, design, discipline, and finding signal in a decade tuned for noise.
open.substack.com
November 28, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Published the first Urban Cassette essay, a quiet piece about attention, midlife clarity, and learning to hear the signal under the decade’s noise.
Written slowly, from Toronto.
Written slowly, from Toronto.
Starting something new here.
Urban Cassette: slow essays on attention, connection, and the quieter parts of modern life.
More soon.
Urban Cassette: slow essays on attention, connection, and the quieter parts of modern life.
More soon.
November 28, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Starting something new here.
Urban Cassette: slow essays on attention, connection, and the quieter parts of modern life.
More soon.
Urban Cassette: slow essays on attention, connection, and the quieter parts of modern life.
More soon.