My mom standing in the doorway: You know I just got off the phone with MF DOOM, he said you need to come downstairs and finish your spinach or you’ll never sell rhymes like dimes.

18 year old me perking up: He really said that?

Living in japan for a few months has taught me the closest you can get to the euphoria of weed without risking deportation is having sake at your local Indian restaurant

I am a rural Republican voter and I can’t get a job unless it’s harvesting blood. President Trump, please revive the blood harvesting industry. I am the only person affected by the job market. Do you sympathize with me

People who listen to breakcore when they hear the exact same drumline with an echoing synth in the background (it’s going to get faster and climax halfway into the two minute song and maybe sample an anime they’ve never seen)

People who listen to breakcore think objects physically get smaller the further they are away from you

Steely dan yt upload comment section

Vergo: akin to auricular fellatio from fagen&beck...

JIM62: LISTENED FOR 47 YRS, THERES JUST NO ONE ELSE LIKE "THE DAN" !

Cant come up with a third comment to follow the "rule of threes". Accepting suggestions as for how i should take my own life in recompense

The resist lib stuff i get on here is really interesting because why was this roundabout ass way of expressing this message necessary. Vaguely ai generated image edited into the hand of some guy and then poorly cropped with white bars still visible

I will never respect you if you say you have “ripped” a pokemon pack. Pornographic consumeristic hypebeast speak. You opened it