When I was ~7 my mom went on a rant about expecting things from your kids and she said "when you were in kindergarten and doing cartwheels during a soccer game, I knew you wouldn't be a good athlete like your brother! AND THAT'S OKAY!" Who are you trying to convince, Mom? 🤔
December 23, 2025 at 6:01 PM
When I was ~7 my mom went on a rant about expecting things from your kids and she said "when you were in kindergarten and doing cartwheels during a soccer game, I knew you wouldn't be a good athlete like your brother! AND THAT'S OKAY!" Who are you trying to convince, Mom? 🤔
If anyone calls or emails tomorrow, so help me....
December 22, 2025 at 10:43 PM
If anyone calls or emails tomorrow, so help me....
No one roasts you like your own toddler
December 9, 2025 at 3:27 PM
No one roasts you like your own toddler
Oh my toddler doesn't like sandwiches? Okay, we're not having grilled cheese, we're having cheese toast! It's all about ~*~branding~*~ baby
November 30, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Oh my toddler doesn't like sandwiches? Okay, we're not having grilled cheese, we're having cheese toast! It's all about ~*~branding~*~ baby
You know I had to get my Flamin Hot Cheetos before the red dye 40 is gone
November 24, 2025 at 10:46 PM
You know I had to get my Flamin Hot Cheetos before the red dye 40 is gone
Beautiful girls keep Imodium in their bags
November 19, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Beautiful girls keep Imodium in their bags
The people who post solutions to tech problems are heroes!!!
November 11, 2025 at 5:42 AM
The people who post solutions to tech problems are heroes!!!
"Hail to the princess Aurora! All of her subjects adore her!" Uuuh, yeah, it's easy to adore a BABY
October 27, 2025 at 4:31 PM
"Hail to the princess Aurora! All of her subjects adore her!" Uuuh, yeah, it's easy to adore a BABY
I'm bad at Illustrator but fumbled my way through it to make a graphic and it may look bad but at least I didn't use AI!!
October 16, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I'm bad at Illustrator but fumbled my way through it to make a graphic and it may look bad but at least I didn't use AI!!
The swim teacher today had all four students (in life jackets) hanging off her today like
October 11, 2025 at 5:27 PM
The swim teacher today had all four students (in life jackets) hanging off her today like
The whole plot of Dumbo centers on adult characters being mean to a BABY
October 11, 2025 at 1:13 AM
The whole plot of Dumbo centers on adult characters being mean to a BABY
I know I'm close to my period because I'm over here crying at how beautiful all the shades of purple are
September 26, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I know I'm close to my period because I'm over here crying at how beautiful all the shades of purple are
We're turning football players into ipad kids. Giving them their little screens between plays. What is this.
September 8, 2025 at 3:26 AM
We're turning football players into ipad kids. Giving them their little screens between plays. What is this.
Getting kicked in the bladder does not stop after you give birth
August 23, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Getting kicked in the bladder does not stop after you give birth
Why did Cruella want to kill 99 dalmatian puppies for a fur coat when she could have killed way fewer fully grown dalmatian dogs instead
August 22, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Why did Cruella want to kill 99 dalmatian puppies for a fur coat when she could have killed way fewer fully grown dalmatian dogs instead
I'm tired of having tummy aches!!!!!!!!
August 22, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I'm tired of having tummy aches!!!!!!!!
Is your child's first haircut a bring-your-own-ribbon kind of thing?
August 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Is your child's first haircut a bring-your-own-ribbon kind of thing?
I'm just a normal person who writes a script before recording my out of office greeting
August 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I'm just a normal person who writes a script before recording my out of office greeting
getting undressed for my gyno appointment: better hide my underwear inside my jeans
July 31, 2025 at 2:10 PM
getting undressed for my gyno appointment: better hide my underwear inside my jeans
Funko Pops are today's Precious Moments
July 30, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Funko Pops are today's Precious Moments
Parenthood is just putting dangerous/breakable things on higher and higher shelves and hoping your kid knows better by the time they can reach the highest spot in the house.
July 16, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Parenthood is just putting dangerous/breakable things on higher and higher shelves and hoping your kid knows better by the time they can reach the highest spot in the house.
Me, seeing the work social media has more notifications than usual: 😰
Seeing it's just that one lady who hates us catching up on commenting on all our posts: 😌
Seeing it's just that one lady who hates us catching up on commenting on all our posts: 😌
June 19, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Me, seeing the work social media has more notifications than usual: 😰
Seeing it's just that one lady who hates us catching up on commenting on all our posts: 😌
Seeing it's just that one lady who hates us catching up on commenting on all our posts: 😌
We came back from a walk and there was a fox in our yard. We thought it was so cool but then literally less than 30 minutes later, found two dead baby opossums in the grass 🤮
June 14, 2025 at 3:11 AM
We came back from a walk and there was a fox in our yard. We thought it was so cool but then literally less than 30 minutes later, found two dead baby opossums in the grass 🤮
I need to fill my water bottle with ice and water before I leave work or my toddler will yell at me
June 12, 2025 at 9:26 PM
I need to fill my water bottle with ice and water before I leave work or my toddler will yell at me
The last part of Sleeping Beauty is just the Three "Good" Fairies making Prince Philip risk his life to cover up their fuck up
June 1, 2025 at 1:28 AM
The last part of Sleeping Beauty is just the Three "Good" Fairies making Prince Philip risk his life to cover up their fuck up