Caius Plinius Secundus (Pliny the Fato Profugus Elder)
@unclepliny.bsky.social
Devoted public servant & everyone's favorite eccentric Roman uncle. There's no such thing as a useless book! Pipiatrix Dr. Molly Jones-Lewis, praeceptrix @UMBC Ancient Studies. Art: @flaroh
Binghamton Plinycon has the prettiest name tags. And a tote bag too!
It's not luxuria if it's handy, surely.
It's not luxuria if it's handy, surely.
October 28, 2023 at 11:56 PM
Binghamton Plinycon has the prettiest name tags. And a tote bag too!
It's not luxuria if it's handy, surely.
It's not luxuria if it's handy, surely.
Rumor has it that if you coat your penis in giant cedar resin before you have sex, it shuts down pregnancy. NH 24.18
Nota pipiatricis: DON'T TRY THIS.
Nota pipiatricis: DON'T TRY THIS.
October 21, 2023 at 7:35 PM
Rumor has it that if you coat your penis in giant cedar resin before you have sex, it shuts down pregnancy. NH 24.18
Nota pipiatricis: DON'T TRY THIS.
Nota pipiatricis: DON'T TRY THIS.
If you feed your monkey pure wine, its fingers will stop growing. FYI. NH 23.44
October 21, 2023 at 6:17 PM
If you feed your monkey pure wine, its fingers will stop growing. FYI. NH 23.44
It's a good idea to soak your man-bits in warm wine.
Dear Uncle Pliny: WHY?
You'll see. Trust me on this. Off you go. NH 23.44
Dear Uncle Pliny: WHY?
You'll see. Trust me on this. Off you go. NH 23.44
October 21, 2023 at 6:14 PM
It's a good idea to soak your man-bits in warm wine.
Dear Uncle Pliny: WHY?
You'll see. Trust me on this. Off you go. NH 23.44
Dear Uncle Pliny: WHY?
You'll see. Trust me on this. Off you go. NH 23.44
Dear Uncle Pliny: Ugh, I got a bunch of raisins for Halloween trick-or-treat. What should I do with them?
Are your testicles swollen? Mush the raisins up with cumin, flour, & coriander and pack them around your junk. Trick or treat, eh? NH 23.16
Are your testicles swollen? Mush the raisins up with cumin, flour, & coriander and pack them around your junk. Trick or treat, eh? NH 23.16
October 21, 2023 at 4:44 PM
Dear Uncle Pliny: Ugh, I got a bunch of raisins for Halloween trick-or-treat. What should I do with them?
Are your testicles swollen? Mush the raisins up with cumin, flour, & coriander and pack them around your junk. Trick or treat, eh? NH 23.16
Are your testicles swollen? Mush the raisins up with cumin, flour, & coriander and pack them around your junk. Trick or treat, eh? NH 23.16
PSA: If a snake breathes into the gills of a mushroom cap as it opens up, it'll be extra poisonous because venom is attracted to venom. I hope you trust your mushroom farmers, friends, because even expert foragers can miss the signs of a snakeshroom. NH 94-5
October 14, 2023 at 10:07 PM
PSA: If a snake breathes into the gills of a mushroom cap as it opens up, it'll be extra poisonous because venom is attracted to venom. I hope you trust your mushroom farmers, friends, because even expert foragers can miss the signs of a snakeshroom. NH 94-5
Dear Uncle Pliny: Where does the funk go when I use Scolymus as a deodorant?
Luckily, Xenocrates did an experiment to prove that you pee the armpit odor out when you use scolymus to slay your armpit goat. NH 22.86
Luckily, Xenocrates did an experiment to prove that you pee the armpit odor out when you use scolymus to slay your armpit goat. NH 22.86
October 14, 2023 at 9:47 PM
Dear Uncle Pliny: Where does the funk go when I use Scolymus as a deodorant?
Luckily, Xenocrates did an experiment to prove that you pee the armpit odor out when you use scolymus to slay your armpit goat. NH 22.86
Luckily, Xenocrates did an experiment to prove that you pee the armpit odor out when you use scolymus to slay your armpit goat. NH 22.86
OOC post: There is nothing cute or kind about mocking people for liking books you find "childish" or "nerdy" and concluding that they must be horribly flawed people for cherishing them. It's a bad look. It tells me you aren't safe to know, even if your comment is aimed at a not-nice target.
September 20, 2023 at 11:56 AM
OOC post: There is nothing cute or kind about mocking people for liking books you find "childish" or "nerdy" and concluding that they must be horribly flawed people for cherishing them. It's a bad look. It tells me you aren't safe to know, even if your comment is aimed at a not-nice target.
Do you enjoy reading the self-serving meandering thoughts of a celebrity physician for free? Then check out this nifty new translation with open access pdf included. www.degruyter.com/document/doi...
September 9, 2023 at 7:59 PM
Do you enjoy reading the self-serving meandering thoughts of a celebrity physician for free? Then check out this nifty new translation with open access pdf included. www.degruyter.com/document/doi...
Kites get gout on the solstice. Just thought you should know.
NH 10.28
NH 10.28
September 4, 2023 at 2:43 AM
Kites get gout on the solstice. Just thought you should know.
NH 10.28
NH 10.28
Dear Uncle Pliny: It's been quiet. Have you given up on the bird posts?
Kites go away during the winter months too, you know, but not before the swallow does. NH 10.28
Kites go away during the winter months too, you know, but not before the swallow does. NH 10.28
September 4, 2023 at 2:43 AM
Dear Uncle Pliny: It's been quiet. Have you given up on the bird posts?
Kites go away during the winter months too, you know, but not before the swallow does. NH 10.28
Kites go away during the winter months too, you know, but not before the swallow does. NH 10.28
Did YOU know that Nature herself taught us how to sail ships? In the way a kite flicks its tail as it sails the skies, we learned what we had to do on the depths below. NH 10.28
September 4, 2023 at 2:40 AM
Did YOU know that Nature herself taught us how to sail ships? In the way a kite flicks its tail as it sails the skies, we learned what we had to do on the depths below. NH 10.28
Tenure track job opening! Remote interviews, super friendly department, good benefits, wonderful students. Come be our new colleague! classicalstudies.org/placement-se...
September 1, 2023 at 3:33 AM
Tenure track job opening! Remote interviews, super friendly department, good benefits, wonderful students. Come be our new colleague! classicalstudies.org/placement-se...
Follow up question, Uncle Pliny. My ... friend had a kite eat his sacrificial goat meat. How bad is it?
Like, really bad. If a kite eats your offering, something SUPER REGRETTABLE is going to happen to your city. What did y'all DO to piss of the gods that bad? Big Yikes. NH 10.27
Like, really bad. If a kite eats your offering, something SUPER REGRETTABLE is going to happen to your city. What did y'all DO to piss of the gods that bad? Big Yikes. NH 10.27
I don't want y'all to think I'm pro-cuckoo. When they put a chick in another bird's nest, it gets ugly. The mama bird broods over a nest filled with an adultery chick. Baby cuckoos hog the food, and grow chonky & puffy, and the mom-bird is so proud of her big baby that she doesn't realize what's up.
August 31, 2023 at 12:00 AM
Follow up question, Uncle Pliny. My ... friend had a kite eat his sacrificial goat meat. How bad is it?
Like, really bad. If a kite eats your offering, something SUPER REGRETTABLE is going to happen to your city. What did y'all DO to piss of the gods that bad? Big Yikes. NH 10.27
Like, really bad. If a kite eats your offering, something SUPER REGRETTABLE is going to happen to your city. What did y'all DO to piss of the gods that bad? Big Yikes. NH 10.27
Next hawk! Let's talk about kites.
It's well-known that this perpetually hangry, grabby bird never snarfs lunch from the altar at Olympia or funeral offerings or hands carrying offerings to the gods.
Unless they're delivering an ill omen. If a kite steals your sacrificial meat, RUN. NH 10.27
It's well-known that this perpetually hangry, grabby bird never snarfs lunch from the altar at Olympia or funeral offerings or hands carrying offerings to the gods.
Unless they're delivering an ill omen. If a kite steals your sacrificial meat, RUN. NH 10.27
August 30, 2023 at 11:57 PM
Next hawk! Let's talk about kites.
It's well-known that this perpetually hangry, grabby bird never snarfs lunch from the altar at Olympia or funeral offerings or hands carrying offerings to the gods.
Unless they're delivering an ill omen. If a kite steals your sacrificial meat, RUN. NH 10.27
It's well-known that this perpetually hangry, grabby bird never snarfs lunch from the altar at Olympia or funeral offerings or hands carrying offerings to the gods.
Unless they're delivering an ill omen. If a kite steals your sacrificial meat, RUN. NH 10.27
Slipping out of character a moment to make you more certain about a job in our department! Are YOU an ancientist whose research centers Asia in some way? Do you want to work with dorky and friendly colleagues, some of whom are way too fond of Pliny? main.hercjobs.org/jobs/1903955...
August 29, 2023 at 8:39 PM
Slipping out of character a moment to make you more certain about a job in our department! Are YOU an ancientist whose research centers Asia in some way? Do you want to work with dorky and friendly colleagues, some of whom are way too fond of Pliny? main.hercjobs.org/jobs/1903955...
I don't want y'all to think I'm pro-cuckoo. When they put a chick in another bird's nest, it gets ugly. The mama bird broods over a nest filled with an adultery chick. Baby cuckoos hog the food, and grow chonky & puffy, and the mom-bird is so proud of her big baby that she doesn't realize what's up.
August 29, 2023 at 2:12 PM
I don't want y'all to think I'm pro-cuckoo. When they put a chick in another bird's nest, it gets ugly. The mama bird broods over a nest filled with an adultery chick. Baby cuckoos hog the food, and grow chonky & puffy, and the mom-bird is so proud of her big baby that she doesn't realize what's up.
Dear Uncle Pliny: Why doesn't the cuckoo just... not make other birds mad and build its own nest?
Look. Bullying makes you scared, ok? The cuckoos have anxiety issues. Stop being so judgy. The cuckoo is doing its best. NH 10.26
Look. Bullying makes you scared, ok? The cuckoos have anxiety issues. Stop being so judgy. The cuckoo is doing its best. NH 10.26
August 28, 2023 at 10:49 PM
Dear Uncle Pliny: Why doesn't the cuckoo just... not make other birds mad and build its own nest?
Look. Bullying makes you scared, ok? The cuckoos have anxiety issues. Stop being so judgy. The cuckoo is doing its best. NH 10.26
Look. Bullying makes you scared, ok? The cuckoos have anxiety issues. Stop being so judgy. The cuckoo is doing its best. NH 10.26
Dear Uncle Pliny: Wait, why does a cuckoo lay eggs in someone else's nest?
Cuckoos know everyone hates them, right? Even tiny birds attack it on sight. It figures its young won't be safe unless its mistaken for another bird's baby. Hence the nest thing. NH 10.26
Cuckoos know everyone hates them, right? Even tiny birds attack it on sight. It figures its young won't be safe unless its mistaken for another bird's baby. Hence the nest thing. NH 10.26
August 28, 2023 at 10:47 PM
Dear Uncle Pliny: Wait, why does a cuckoo lay eggs in someone else's nest?
Cuckoos know everyone hates them, right? Even tiny birds attack it on sight. It figures its young won't be safe unless its mistaken for another bird's baby. Hence the nest thing. NH 10.26
Cuckoos know everyone hates them, right? Even tiny birds attack it on sight. It figures its young won't be safe unless its mistaken for another bird's baby. Hence the nest thing. NH 10.26
The cuckoo shows up in the spring and hides when the dog-star rises. In that time, it lays eggs in other birds' nests, especially wood-pidgeon. Unlike other birds it just lays one egg at a time usually, but every so often two. NH 10.26
August 28, 2023 at 10:43 PM
The cuckoo shows up in the spring and hides when the dog-star rises. In that time, it lays eggs in other birds' nests, especially wood-pidgeon. Unlike other birds it just lays one egg at a time usually, but every so often two. NH 10.26
I like women translators.
August 27, 2023 at 6:21 PM
I like women translators.
Dear Uncle Pliny: Cuckoos are. not. hawks. They don't even sound the same!
Perhaps you need more facts to help you understand. When a cuckoo shape-shifts, it also changes its voice. NH 10.25
Perhaps you need more facts to help you understand. When a cuckoo shape-shifts, it also changes its voice. NH 10.25
August 27, 2023 at 2:20 AM
Dear Uncle Pliny: Cuckoos are. not. hawks. They don't even sound the same!
Perhaps you need more facts to help you understand. When a cuckoo shape-shifts, it also changes its voice. NH 10.25
Perhaps you need more facts to help you understand. When a cuckoo shape-shifts, it also changes its voice. NH 10.25
OK, y'all are still confused about this, and I get it. Cuckoo/hawks are the only species that eats its own kind. It's tragic, the way shape-shifting on the wrong day ruins cuckoo lives, and we shouldn't add to the trauma by invalidating the cuckoo's hawkishness. NH 10.24
Dear Uncle Pliny: I saw a hawk and a cuckoo together. They are not the same bird.
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
August 27, 2023 at 2:18 AM
OK, y'all are still confused about this, and I get it. Cuckoo/hawks are the only species that eats its own kind. It's tragic, the way shape-shifting on the wrong day ruins cuckoo lives, and we shouldn't add to the trauma by invalidating the cuckoo's hawkishness. NH 10.24
Dear Uncle Pliny: I saw a hawk and a cuckoo together. They are not the same bird.
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
August 27, 2023 at 2:13 AM
Dear Uncle Pliny: I saw a hawk and a cuckoo together. They are not the same bird.
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
Oh, well, yes, sometimes their schedule overlaps, but I bet the hawk was eating the cuckoo, because that's what happens if they show up on the same day. NH 10.24
It seems some of you are still confused about the hawk=cuckoo situation.
Perhaps a description will help. A cuckoo is the only hawk without hooked talons. It looks exactly like a hawk except with a weird head and a different color. Actually, it looks like a pigeon. But it's a hawk. NH 10.24
Perhaps a description will help. A cuckoo is the only hawk without hooked talons. It looks exactly like a hawk except with a weird head and a different color. Actually, it looks like a pigeon. But it's a hawk. NH 10.24
August 27, 2023 at 2:10 AM
It seems some of you are still confused about the hawk=cuckoo situation.
Perhaps a description will help. A cuckoo is the only hawk without hooked talons. It looks exactly like a hawk except with a weird head and a different color. Actually, it looks like a pigeon. But it's a hawk. NH 10.24
Perhaps a description will help. A cuckoo is the only hawk without hooked talons. It looks exactly like a hawk except with a weird head and a different color. Actually, it looks like a pigeon. But it's a hawk. NH 10.24