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uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Dingbat Cat of Light and Friends
@uncanon.kinsleycity.net
260 followers 250 following 1.5K posts
They/them | Writer | FFXIV Enjoyer | Old Enough | White | Sometimes NSFW🔞|Kinsley City/All the Wrong Reasons © Sebastian Hansen (me, it's me)
pfp by @piratesicard.bsky.social

((No f4f))

#FFXIVWriters #UncanonXIVfics #AtWR
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uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Yan is Friend Shaped!
This is Torri's head peaking over the Yan's giant head. The yan is a murder sheep with a giant head, big puppy eyes, and horns. It's very cute. And it will kill you. Adorably.
November 29, 2025 at 9:01 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Mum did not have "expectations" in the traditional sense. She is very good at seeing the *person* and working from there. She could tell early on what sort of person Torri would grow into and encouraged their talents accordingly.

TBH Torri *did* make it easy...
Pictured: A very confused Goobue scratching it's head because it has a Miqot'e youth hanging out of its mouth. It does not understand how the Miqot'e got there. Torri tried to axe it...but. Well. Sometimes things just happen.
November 23, 2025 at 10:22 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
As much as I do love Mum yelling at a goat while on a linkpearl call with Torri, I'm going to go with the time Emmanellain and Sicard got stuck in a closet:
The feather in Sicard’s new hat dusted Emm’s nose and the lord scrunched it up, trying desperately to not sneeze. The pirate hastily brushed the plume back into place. The blokes outside were still talking but Sicard paid them no mind. His attention was fixed firmly on trying to keep Emmanellain from wailing. That was, until he heard Art–Emmanellain’s brother say, “Enough about that. Come here Stephanivien.” Then: The soft clink of glasses, a throaty chuckle, and the rustling of fabrics. Oh bloody bloody hells, they ain’t gonna– And the sound of a kiss, faint but oh so very perceptible. Sicard seriously considered picking Emm up and throwing him through the door. In his state, the lord couldn’t form coherent thoughts, let alone words, but he was flailing for everything he was worth. Maybe Emmanellain suddenly bursting forth, squawking and flapping about like a chicken, would be enough of a distraction to get them out of the room before anyone realized what was happening.
November 23, 2025 at 8:57 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Oooooh what to pick what to pick (and also WHO to pick!!)

ok ok ok uhhh...

I think only two of these have appeared in finished works but I love all these very much.

As for tagging....I am not sure who to tag who hasn't been? If you haven't been, please qrp with your words! I want to read them!
He went to work. A crowd quickly formed around him but he paid them no mind. Pirates liked a good show and there'd always been a bit of theater deep in Seifer's veins so he made sure to put on a decent performance. The cheers and taunts washed over him. His thoughts focused inward, trying to make sense of everything--and failing. As he'd failed every day for the past five years. When your dreams lay tattered and broken on the floor of your fucked up childhood, where do you go? When everything you believed deep in your soul turns out to be a lie, what do you do? When the blood on your hands weighs enough to drown you beneath the waves of your own hubris, how do you keep drawing breath? I felt whole. Not because he completed me but because he allowed me to be whole, as myself. A person complete, not completed, and worthy of being loved. He felt like a part of me, but instead of filling a void, he became an extension of myself. Apart and also a part. I was owned, willingly subdued, and wanted as much as I found myself wanting. Marks and scars. Scars and marks. He would love them all. With his lips, he traced the marks of the map on her skin---the scars on her arms, a mole here, a small bruise there (*where had she been before coming to see him? What had she been doing? He'd ask later*), a few cuts, healing scars from past battles....all comprising the visceral journal of a life lived. He would read the lines on her body, commit them to memory, and cherish her story in their time apart. The chatter and occasional cheer in the background grew dim. Time itself seemed to tick down until everything felt frozen. Something he’d wailed not long ago came back to haunt him. I could kiss so many lovely people! Emmanellain swallowed. Sicard’s lips curled into a gentle–and hitherto unforeseen–smile. It was small, soft, almost shy in a way. This wasn’t the smile he’d seen before. This was a secret one. A softer one. A smile for Emmanellain and Emmanellain only. His heart started pounding in his chest. Numbly, he wondered if anyone else could hear it. Or...him. I could kiss only him and be happy with that. The pirate’s lovely smile turned into a slight smirk–not quite as alluring but still darling nonetheless, because Sicard would not be himself without the smirk. It drove Emmanellain mad, but the lord realized with a start that it was part of the whole and the whole was often an infuriating, but always magnetic, pirate.
November 23, 2025 at 8:45 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
They aren't wrong.
Screenshot from Final Fantasy 14 of a line from chat. [FC]<Seifer' Almasy> CAPITALISM IS A DPS LOSS This is about Occult Crescent, but also yes.
November 22, 2025 at 6:58 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
They have no idea what they look like when they do this.

I need to redo these shots with their post-DT makeovers but yeah.

...Yeah.
Rarely posted but well-loved shot of Seifer and Sicard in the setting sun, looking adoringly at each other (you can't see Seifer's expression as his back is to the camera but trust me, it's sappy a-f). They do not actually realize what they look like when they do this kinda stuff and will, in fact, stab you repeatedly for suggesting they may be anything more than Business Partners™. Same shot from the other angle. Now you can see Seifer's sappy a-f expression. But they are not in love. Don't you dare suggest they might be in love.
November 21, 2025 at 3:30 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Oh my god they're putting my cat in the game.
Pictured: A gray cat sitting in a open and otherwise emptysuitcase. He looking up at the camera with an expression best described as "simpering." He wants to go on an adventure. Please pet him.
November 21, 2025 at 12:13 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
So about those free fantas...
Temporarily turned Seifer into a bunny girl for fun, profit, and general amusement. She's cute. Her make up is very dark because he has no idea what he's doing. But it's fine. *smiley face*
November 20, 2025 at 7:28 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Hi! Here's one of the cutest things I own! Pic quality isn't great since it kinda washes out the colors (which are nice and bright!) but this is pretty darn solid. The stand is a very snug fit, but that sucker ain't comin' loose any time soon.

10/10. Happy to be the guinea pig, @kytri.bsky.social!
Pic of a standee by kytri.bsky.social of Stephanivien and Artoirel holding hands. Steph is all smiles (yay!) and Arty looks like he got caught falling asleep during mass. This is adorable and I love it very much!
November 18, 2025 at 7:51 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
BEHOLD: THE CARD!

(Found in Ser Grinnaux's yaoi stash.)

I never want to see the inside of this dungeon again (I will see the inside of this dungeon again, I fear.)
Pictured: A way fuller inventory than I normally have, but the Charibert Card is highlighted. I lost count of how many runs it took to get this guy to give it up.
November 16, 2025 at 12:12 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Day 275602:

I have acquired a full set of Auditor's attire, despite having looted no chests.

The vestibule is in chaos. Someone has drawn naked Throdans in the margins of hymnals in the left column of pews. The right column is unmarked, but the doodler remains at large.

The Card is close now.
Torri, now wearing more conservative Auditor attire, standing to the entrance of the last boss arena in the Vault. The UI is currently set to Machinist because, after a LONG period of rigorous testing, I've discovered that's the job that goes through here the fastest.
November 16, 2025 at 9:44 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Day 275601:

The deacons have taken the Basicalla. They are organizing a potluck and cake walk. The knights are on strike due to the new "No Lacy Underwear" rule.

There is still no sign of The Card.
Torri standing in front of the last boss in the Vault, we are trying to find The Card. The Card does not exist.
November 15, 2025 at 11:13 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
They know who they are. The rest is just accessorizing.
Screenie of Torri in tight leather pants, and a bright pink and red crop top. They're making a heart shape with their hands and grinning. Since they don't have their axe on them, it's probably safe.
November 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Behold, the non-binary, gender-fluid WoL-cat:
Torri in their pink top during the summer event. They are be-titted and wearing sunglasses on their head. They are making googly eyes at a giant ice-cream...fruit cup...float...thing. It looks delicious anyway.
November 12, 2025 at 8:13 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Your honor, I love them so much. <3
A shot of Rev (elezen, duskwight, part-voidsent, hat) and Torri (cat) from the waist up. They are in a forest (Il Mheg) and Torri is wearing fuzzy pink ears and hanging off Rev's shoulder. They had to climb up there, obviously, but they climb their elezen tree regularly so this is not unusual. Anyway. Rev has a very "dot dot dot" expression (resting bitch face, I believe it's called) and Torri is grinning like a gremlin. They're deeply, hopelessly, in love.
November 12, 2025 at 8:07 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Make. Them. Legible.

(And get rid of your damned dot markers I stg....just make them numbers, just make them readable, just make them *accessible* fuuuuuu---)
A screenshot showing two of the game's standard raid markers. The A is red and looks...more or less like an A but the 4 is nominally purple and looks like a lower-case a written by a four year old, or a g depending on how you look at it---and in the heat of the moment given this game's busy af effects... Let's just say my mildly colorblind/dyslexic ass gets them mixed up. A lot. See also: the 3 and the C and the D...
November 9, 2025 at 10:07 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
No one could ever accuse me of not doing this.
The Final Fantasy Fourteen edition of Seifer from Final Fantasy Eight: - Age: About 8 years older than he was in his canon game - Hair: Longer - Job: Gunbreaking Pirate that moonlights as a dark knight and viper in canon. - Queerness: On the bi spectrum - Scars: He's got a few more - Face scruff: 5 o'clock shadow - Wisdom: Still questionable He's wearing a coat that's...like...open. In the chest area. With age comes bigger tits, apparently. I don't make the rules.
November 7, 2025 at 9:12 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
This cat is walking down to the ring with this song, wyd?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9K8...
Halfbody screenshot of Torri in a tight shiny blue space uniform. They look very thoughtful and impish. This is a ruse.
November 6, 2025 at 8:24 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
PSA: IF YOU WANT THE SUPLEXABLE DOOMTRAIN YOU HAVE TO DO THE OMEGA RAIDS.

(ps: They don't let you suplex that one :< )

(pps: Plz SE do the funniest thing ever with this one plz plz plz I am BEG.)
A certain gunbreaking midlander whomst I may or may not have smacked with the Doomtrain in a different game altogether. Repeatedly. Because it's funny. Anyway. He's looking forward to this.
November 4, 2025 at 9:34 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
@/kannterart.bsky.social drew this (it's a pillow on my shelf!) and yeah. They sleep like this whether Rev is a plushie or not.
Art by: @kannterart.bsky.social THIS. IS. A. PILLOW! It's so cute and I love it and I can't get over bb Torri doing a seeby-sleep while wearing their pink chocobo PJs and hugging a Rev plushing with their pupper Chewy sleeping at their feet. They are wearing little chocobo slippers I may die of cute.
November 4, 2025 at 9:24 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Sometimes I forget that Torri started life as a bard...

Having said that, my FIRST character, that I still have, got the second one.

Oddly neither of them were an exploration achievement. I don't know what that says about the way I play games.
Achievement earned by Torri on 3/26/21: "Just Talkin 'bout Shafts I" Achievement earned by my very first XIV character on 8/18/2013: "Storyteller I"
November 3, 2025 at 11:55 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Day 52347: trying to get Filthy Rat Man to drop his card.

D'you know I never touched TT in FFVIII? Ever? It seemed out of character for Squall to walk up to randos and be like, "Cards?" Kinda the opposite of what he'd do, I think.

Maybe in the never-sequel.

Anyway, drop your card, you bastard!!!
A screenshot of the final room of the Vault--a giant gold-lit platform with a tall elezen mage in a weird hat standing in the center. In about 5 seconds he's going to scream "FILTHY RATS!!" and immediately die.
November 2, 2025 at 11:09 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Left: Blorbo 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Right: The Character *ominous organ music*
A picture of Torri in their silky blue pictomancer glam. They are blowing bubbles and looking amazed. Because bubbles! Seifer, hand on hip, staring directly at the camera. He's wearing his black Dark Knight get up, which leaves much of the chest exposed. Whether this is intentional or not is up to you.
November 2, 2025 at 7:24 AM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Happy birthday ~

Here is two cat:
Top cat: Black with fuzzy white heart on his belly. Weird little guy. Fantastic mouse-chaser but only if it's his favorite stuffed mouse. Guillermo de Monkey D Luffe, but we call him Gizmo. Bilbo's bestie. Bottom cat: Gray guy. Very soft. Called handsome by literally everyone. Former stray who hides in the bathroom cabinets when it rains. Big baby man. Wants cuddles, bit not those cuddles. Gizmo's arch nemesis. Goes by Bilbo but is spiritually a Fezzig. They are laying on a soft blue comforter on a bed. The bed is not made. Sorry about that.
November 1, 2025 at 12:53 PM
uncanon.kinsleycity.net
Whooooo wants tickles?!?!?!
Took a quick screenshot of Torri in the desert area of Shaaloani. They have their axe out and are running at the camera. They are smiling. This means whoever they are running at should probably start running away. Behind them is Candyfloss, their chocobo, who is just stand there, staring at their bestie. She is dressed in a frog costume---which I'm told certain men of the chilled persuasion find absolutely terrifying for some reason. Torri's axe is on fire, but it is not half as scary as the choco-frog.
October 30, 2025 at 9:59 AM