just broke up. i feel confused. i feel a massive knot in me. this is what i wanted, but i wasn't clean enough to do it myself.

i couldn't own up to the fact that i didn't like her that much.

bulgakov depicts the sheer horror of slicing open a young girl's neck to save her life when all you've ever saw are diagrams in medical textbooks.

your vibrance
you know it hurts
to look at the sun?

learning to be a raccoon. dig and dig and dig and i shall find great treasures.

a strong case for getting off social media: my friend has spilled water on his laptop and he's never been more sociable and friendly and approachable :D

reflecting on the overwhelming sense of doom, cynicism, and agenticlessness of hong kong's youth (i would love to be displaced of this belief):

funny how after 4 days away from my laptop (this has never happened in my life, even the one time i went on a deserted island to fast for 4 days i brought my laptop and read mieko kawakami On Breast and Eggs which was worse than Heaven by the way) the sensation of typing feels completely foreign

SO GOOD TO BE HERE!!! the world is good. bluesky is good. I HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR 4 DAYS BECAUSE I WENT ON THE LONGEST (FIRST) DATE OF MY LIFE shes warm and vibrant and free spirited................. i love her so much