That pre-birthday depression thing might be real

Some die of thirst while others drown.

I am a living ghost. I don’t feel like I’m part of this world. I can interact with it, but I’m not seen truly. An alien-like feeling.

I want [REDACTED]. I miss [REDACTED]. I really like to [REDACTED]. I could really use some filthy, disgusting [REDACTED]. But alas, I just have to go about my day.

For most of my life, I always was in some form of chaos. Whether it was things outside of me or my own actions, something was always happening. Now that things have calmed and slowed down, I find part of myself missing it. Ain’t that fucked up?

Distance, Silence, Peace.

Before I yap about anything crazy or negative, I just wanna say I’m proud of myself for organizing a day for my siblings and I to all gather together and catch up. It went well and was definitely needed.

Vulnerability is hard. Even though I’ve done a lot of personal work and still currently attend therapy sessions, being vulnerable is still a hard concept for me to wrap my head around. So I’m going to try something new and scary this year.

you have to be sincere and you have to get weird with it