Gear shift in one hand, McGriddle in the other, Super Bass by Nicki Minaj threatening to blow out the speakers as I merge onto the freeway. It’s 7:42 am. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” I say to myself. “I love me,” I also say to myself.

It must be so nice to not believe in climate change and just get to enjoy how insanely warm it’s been rather than spiraling in existential dread

The condition of the inside of my AirPods case is for me to know and for you… not to. When that case opens, avert your eyes.

I just watched Hot Frosty on Netflix and can confirm that it is a perfect film.

Can we please collectively boycott these live-action remakes? I actually enjoy the experience of watching a movie I’ve never seen before.

Guys this app is going to fix all of our problems I just know it