Hollywood T
@tyler-is-comedy.bsky.social
Footloose and fancy-free | Standup | improviser | Writer | Pathetic |
“Oh god! I’m gonna fart!”- Guy in a dimension where fart means cum
August 3, 2025 at 1:02 AM
“Oh god! I’m gonna fart!”- Guy in a dimension where fart means cum
Suicide vest? What is this, a suicide wedding? Am I your suicide best man?
July 1, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Suicide vest? What is this, a suicide wedding? Am I your suicide best man?
Here’s an animation I made for school! All pee pee dances were motion captured by me!
June 9, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Here’s an animation I made for school! All pee pee dances were motion captured by me!
Please, Mr. Simpson is my father. Call me DJ Simpson.
December 14, 2024 at 8:09 AM
Please, Mr. Simpson is my father. Call me DJ Simpson.
CEOs are honoring Brian Thompson’s death by keeping their Patagonia pullovers at half zip
December 9, 2024 at 7:41 PM
CEOs are honoring Brian Thompson’s death by keeping their Patagonia pullovers at half zip
We joke around a lot but I am bummed I never got to meet my foreskin
December 8, 2024 at 2:52 AM
We joke around a lot but I am bummed I never got to meet my foreskin
I hope they find the guy that killed the UHC CEO so I hang out with him.
December 6, 2024 at 11:20 PM
I hope they find the guy that killed the UHC CEO so I hang out with him.
I’d say my heart breaks for Brian Thompson but that would disqualify my current coverage
December 5, 2024 at 7:42 PM
I’d say my heart breaks for Brian Thompson but that would disqualify my current coverage
Skincare tips from yours truly
December 2, 2024 at 8:31 PM
Skincare tips from yours truly
Hunter/Barron 2028
December 2, 2024 at 1:38 AM
Hunter/Barron 2028
Saying grace before popping a zyn
December 1, 2024 at 4:14 AM
Saying grace before popping a zyn
“Damn, I’m smote off thy mead. Might risk it all for Guinevere.”- Lancelot that one time
November 30, 2024 at 2:10 AM
“Damn, I’m smote off thy mead. Might risk it all for Guinevere.”- Lancelot that one time
I like to put margarita mix in my egg nog. I call it “Mexican Piss Sludge”
November 29, 2024 at 5:42 AM
I like to put margarita mix in my egg nog. I call it “Mexican Piss Sludge”
The Penguin rocks because it’s a really good show and I also get to look at my crush Cristin Milioti for an hour.
November 28, 2024 at 8:29 AM
The Penguin rocks because it’s a really good show and I also get to look at my crush Cristin Milioti for an hour.
If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, also let it mellow. I’m working on a secret project that I don’t feel comfortable sharing the details of.
November 26, 2024 at 7:16 PM
If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, also let it mellow. I’m working on a secret project that I don’t feel comfortable sharing the details of.
Had reel pop up about 3 signs that your game is weak. I only need 1 sign, which is that I haven’t been on a date in 5 months.
November 26, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Had reel pop up about 3 signs that your game is weak. I only need 1 sign, which is that I haven’t been on a date in 5 months.
I made out with a girl while listening to Defying Gravity, which is as gay as making out with a dude without music.
November 23, 2024 at 1:23 AM
I made out with a girl while listening to Defying Gravity, which is as gay as making out with a dude without music.
I wish Kendrick and Drake would make a song called “We’re Friends Now” where they rap about how much they’ve been hanging out lately.
November 22, 2024 at 9:49 PM
I wish Kendrick and Drake would make a song called “We’re Friends Now” where they rap about how much they’ve been hanging out lately.
Pretty cool that as soon as you turn 30 going to bed with even the most mild tummy ache causes you to have hellish nightmares. If I eat McDonald’s after 7 PM, my brain is showing me loved ones losing their limbs.
November 22, 2024 at 7:13 AM
Pretty cool that as soon as you turn 30 going to bed with even the most mild tummy ache causes you to have hellish nightmares. If I eat McDonald’s after 7 PM, my brain is showing me loved ones losing their limbs.
“Dang! I’m back to my posts doing numbers!”- me after getting 3 likes on here
November 20, 2024 at 9:51 PM
“Dang! I’m back to my posts doing numbers!”- me after getting 3 likes on here
Just fuckin around
November 17, 2024 at 11:04 PM
Just fuckin around
Reposted by Hollywood T
British film critic reviewing an elevated horror film:
“It’s about trawr-mer, innit?”
“It’s about trawr-mer, innit?”
November 17, 2024 at 10:19 AM
British film critic reviewing an elevated horror film:
“It’s about trawr-mer, innit?”
“It’s about trawr-mer, innit?”
People will break everything in the gym. God’s covenant with the Israelites would get broken if it was left in a gym.
November 17, 2024 at 11:47 AM
People will break everything in the gym. God’s covenant with the Israelites would get broken if it was left in a gym.
I’m rewriting Atlas Shrugged for modern times. Gonna make John Galt an epic twitter poster
November 17, 2024 at 11:42 AM
I’m rewriting Atlas Shrugged for modern times. Gonna make John Galt an epic twitter poster