Fuck, I got pregnant just from looking at this.

Standard issue white American male here. Can confirm.

It's the same rule they use in Brazilian jiu-jitsu - it's only gay if you make eye contact.

Anyone noticing the parallel between the Blue Lives crowd and this?

"If you criticize anything we do, we'll just tell everyone you hate us and want to destroy us."

Also, "the Bronze Age is a foot fetish" is my new favorite no-context quote.

As an ignorant-ass American (albeit one who has been to the UK a few times) I had no idea what an Austin Allegro was, and now I want one with every fiber of my being.

Clearly an MS-13 terrorist. 🙄

Unrelated question: are any countries accepting asylum claims from Americans yet?

Having lived in Alabama (Arab, early 90s) I can confirm this.

That clown is ill-equipped to handle the role of Walmart door greeter.

Sorry, bad habit.

Thanks for keeping it real. This is why your fans love you intensely.

If they're just now saying it, believe them. That said, temper your response with the knowledge that these dense, self-serving shits will only admit they were wrong when it personally affects them, and not out of compassion for others.

Source: Am related to several.

Also, please let Charlie and June Bug know another random Internet person loves them.

🎶It's a nice day for a good petting. It's a nice day to bark again.🎶

They carved the 1s and 0s into clay tablets. Some confused alien race will find them 10,000 years in the future and be real confused.

Alien, staring blankly at a screen: "i think it's a purchase record, maybe for their military. But what's a herpes test, and why did they order so many?"

Bro did (allegedly) roll up with the toaster, so that tracks.

That guy is weapons-grade stupid.

We Americans, always brimming with ingenuity and gumption, have somehow managed to move beyond tactical idiocy and jumped directly into strategic nuclear dumbassery.