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tweethof.bsky.social
Tweet Hall Of Fame
@tweethof.bsky.social
8 followers 1 following 22 posts
The greatest tweets of all time, shared for Bluesky use
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tweethof.bsky.social
Letterman: Recently I've tried something new, uh honoring the void
Paul: honoring the void!
Letterman: as personified in the uh the norse giants.uh worshipping the ol causeless unbeing. You heard of this?
Paul: can't say I have
Letterman: it is a hoot. Voy-duh
Paul: unbeing!

- @bombsfall 11/13/2019
Tweet from @bombsfall on November 13, 2019: Letterman: Recently I've tried something new, uh honoring the void Paul: Honoring the void! Letterman: As personified in the uh the Norse giants. Uh worshipping the ol causeless u being. You heard of this? Paul: Can't say I have Letterman: It is a hoot. Voy-duh Paul: Unbeing! Follow up tweet: *band plays Black Hole Sun riff*
November 18, 2024 at 4:20 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
every time I see an Angels highlight it's like "Mike Trout hit three homes runs and raised his average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something that hasn't been done since 'Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen, as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3"

- @matttomic on May 17, 2021
Tweet from @matttomic on May 17, 2021: Every time I see an Angels highlight it's like "Mike Trout hit three home runs and raises his average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something that hasn't been done since 'Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen, as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3"
November 18, 2024 at 4:10 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
Confident in my ability to properly tennis, I take the court. I smile at my opponent. Serena does not return the gesture. She'd be prettier if she did, I think. She serves. The ball passes cleanly through my skull, killing me instantly.

- Tweet from @longwall26 on July 12, 2019
Tweet from @longwall26 on July 12, 2019: Confident in my ability to properly tennis, I take the court. I smile at my opponent. Serena does not return the gesture. She'd be prettier if she did, I think. She serves. The ball passes cleanly through my skull, killing me instantly.
November 17, 2024 at 6:30 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
We're a modest company with modest goals:
1. sell a quality product at a fair price
2. drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god

- Tweet from @Stev_D on October 21, 2014:
Tweet from @Stev_D on October 21, 2014: We're a modest company with modest goals: 1. sell a quality product at a fair price 2. drain the world's oceans so we can find and kill god
November 17, 2024 at 6:21 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[my friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

- Tweet from @murrman5 on October 1, 2019
Tweet from @murrman5 on October 1, 2019: [me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] It was crazy. [my friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the Grinch the grink] Was the grink there?
November 16, 2024 at 6:46 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
damn, a coffin costs $4000??? y'all can bury me loose

- Tweet from @yedoye_ on March 11, 2021
Tweet from @yedoye_ on March 11, 2021: Damn, a coffin costs $4000??? Y'all can bury me loose
November 16, 2024 at 6:34 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
guest rapper on gorillaz song: i been in ends since ten kicking product round the bend, my mom died of tuberculosis I'm slipping into psychosis

Damon Albarn on the chorus: ooooooh flimsy steve, where did you go, what have you seen

- Tweet from @fixyourheartsor on August 26, 2021
Tweet from @fixyourheartsor on August 26, 2021: Guest rapper on Gorillaz song: I been in ends since ten kicking product round the bend, my mom died of tuberculosis I'm slipping into psychosis Damon Albarn on the chorus: ooooooh Flimsy Steve, where did you go, what have you seen
November 16, 2024 at 4:21 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
PF Chang's waiter: "[Recites specials]"
Stephen A Smith: (acts surprised) "To me, that's preposterous. Crab Rangoon, things of that nature."
Tweet from @david_j_roth on June 12, 2012: PF Chang's waiter: "[Recites specials]" Stephen A Smith: (acts surprised) "To me, that's preposterous. Crab Rangoon, things of that nature."
November 16, 2024 at 1:14 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
STEPHEN A: Skip, I want to ADDRESS this issue.
[BAYLESS nods]
You KNOW I am sensitive to the Holocaust
BAYLESS: Absolutely
STEPHEN A: BUT!

- Tweet from @Hegelbon on July 25, 2014
Tweet from @Hegelbon on July 25, 2014: Stephen A: Skip, I want to address this issue. [Bayless nods] You know I am sensitive to the Holocaust. Bayless: Absolutely. Stephen A: But!
November 16, 2024 at 12:59 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
BOURDAIN: Alright so tell me what this is
CITIZEN: This is apple pie. It is a classic American food
BOURDAIN: Okay, so -- wait, what are you doing?
CITIZEN: I am adding a small scoop of ice cream
BOURDAIN: [chuckling sceptically] All right. All right. Fuck it. Let's do this.

- @i_zzzzzz on 7/20/18
Tweet from @i_zzzzzz on July 20, 2018: Bourdain: Alright so tell me what this is. Citizen: This is apple pie. It is a classic American food. Bourdain: Okay, so -- wait, what are you doing? Citizen: I am adding a small scoop of ice cream. Bourdain: [chuckling sceptically] All right. All right. Fuck it. Let's do this.
November 15, 2024 at 4:41 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

- Tweet from @dril on June 1, 2014
Tweet from @dril on June 1, 2014: The wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "there's actually zero difference between good and bad things. You imbecile. You fucking moron."
November 15, 2024 at 6:04 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better known clowns

- Tweet from @skullmandible on December 12, 2013
Tweet from @skullmandible on December 12, 2013: Most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" Because it implies they're a) a clown, and b) not even one of the better known clowns.
November 15, 2024 at 5:54 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
Being a billionaire must be insane. You can buy new teeth, new skin. All your chairs cost $20,000 and weigh 2,000 pounds. Your life is just a series of your own preferences. In terms of cognitive impairment it's probably like being kicked in the head by a horse.

- @Merman_Melville on Jan 24, 2019
Tweet from @Merman_Melville on January 24, 2019: Being a billionaire must be insane. You can buy new teeth, new skin. All your chairs cost 20,000 dollars and weigh 2,000 pounds. Your life is just a series of your own preferences. In terms of cognitive impairment it's probably like being kicked in the head by a horse.
November 15, 2024 at 5:49 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
*alternate timeline where an autism vaccine was made*

GEORGE LUCAS DRIVING THE LONGEST CAR YOU'VE EVER SEEN THROUGH HARLEM: What the fuck y'all know about this?

*starts playing Sing Sing Sing so hard it causes Black 9/11*

- Tweet from @Java_jigga on July 3, 2022
Tweet from @Java_jigga on July 3, 2022: *alternate timeline where an autism vaccine was made* George Lucas driving the longest car you've ever seen through Harlem: What the fuck y'all know about this? *starts playing Sing Sing Sing so hard it causes Black 9/11*
November 15, 2024 at 2:01 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods.

- Tweet from @hamnox on January 14, 2022
Tweet from @hamnox on January 14, 2022: R.I.P. to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but I'm different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.
November 14, 2024 at 5:18 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the duck is racist

- Tweet from @pixelatedboat on June 12, 2016
Tweet from @pixelatedboat on June 12, 2016: The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the duck is racist.
November 13, 2024 at 7:06 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
me: maybe now is the moment for forgiveness?
also me: perish in the coming end of days, my good bitch

- Tweet from @smeagolsfree on February 10, 2017
Tweet from @smeagolsfree on February 10, 2017: Me: maybe now is the moment for forgiveness? Also me: perish in the coming end of days, my good bitch
November 13, 2024 at 4:48 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
This is the stupidest day in American history, a record that will be broken by every subsequent day in American history.

- Tweet from @cushbomb on January 20, 2017
Tweet from @cushbomb on January 20, 2017: This is the stupidest day in American history, a record that will be broken by every subsequent day in American history.
November 13, 2024 at 4:41 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.

-Tweet from @JosephScrimshaw on March 9, 2015
Tweet from @JosephScrimshaw on March 9, 2015: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.
November 13, 2024 at 12:17 AM
tweethof.bsky.social
me, lightly touching miette with the side of my foot: miette move out of the way please so I don't trip on you

miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK miette? you kick her body like the football? oh! oh! jail for mother! jail for One Thousand Years!
- tweet from @TriciaLockwood on Mar 19, 2019
tweet from @TriciaLockwood on Mar 19, 2019: Me, lightly touching Miette with the side of my foot: Miette move out of the way please so I don't trip you. Miette, her eyes enormous: you KICK Miette? You kick her body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for mother! Jail for One Thousand Years!
November 12, 2024 at 11:57 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
- Tweet from @dril on May 22, 2012
Tweet from @dril on May 22, 2012: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
November 12, 2024 at 11:45 PM
tweethof.bsky.social
SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing-
DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND: fuck him up Socrates
- Tweet from @leyawn on April 8, 2015
Tweet from @leyawn on April 8, 2015: SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing- DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND: fuck him up Socrates
November 12, 2024 at 11:12 PM