The First Millennial
@turbulantjuice.bsky.social
Just a midwestern “poor” 1980 baby, raised with morals and values, watching those with neither steal all the money and face no consequences. (I hate this timeline)
Best sleeping cat ever
November 23, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Best sleeping cat ever
The “buns” too.
These sandwich puns are glorious
November 6, 2025 at 7:43 PM
The “buns” too.
Just in: people who hang their toilet paper in this manner have endorsed Andrew Cuomo.
November 4, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Just in: people who hang their toilet paper in this manner have endorsed Andrew Cuomo.
apple.news/A03Sb9A4AR8q... Crazy to read and be framed as "just another worker". Like that's all that we are and all life has to offer. Sorry I didn't feel like cranking out 3-4 little cheap laborers for the economy to chew up and spit out.
People are having fewer kids. Their choice is transforming the world's economy — NPR
Family size around the world is dropping. That choice by couples is triggering a population shift that's sending shock waves through economies.
apple.news
October 29, 2025 at 12:59 AM
apple.news/A03Sb9A4AR8q... Crazy to read and be framed as "just another worker". Like that's all that we are and all life has to offer. Sorry I didn't feel like cranking out 3-4 little cheap laborers for the economy to chew up and spit out.
Need to stop with the “what if Dems did this shit”, cause that’s their entire Nazi playbook. Cry wolf about a thing not happening, so they can then do that exact thing next time and say, “but they did it first”. Bottom line, Dems need to start doing whatever the fuck they want. /1
October 23, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Need to stop with the “what if Dems did this shit”, cause that’s their entire Nazi playbook. Cry wolf about a thing not happening, so they can then do that exact thing next time and say, “but they did it first”. Bottom line, Dems need to start doing whatever the fuck they want. /1
Thanks to @jamellebouie.net, I’d like to submit this as my nom for best line of Ghostbusters. Runner up: “where do these stairs go?” “They go up”.
“Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"
October 17, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Thanks to @jamellebouie.net, I’d like to submit this as my nom for best line of Ghostbusters. Runner up: “where do these stairs go?” “They go up”.
SMB3 feels correct at 1, love how mega man 2 is repped here (lots of people think 3 is better…its not), but OG Zelda has to be 2. OG Mario is great but its legacy doing too much heavy lifting for it to be this high)
From groundbreaking platformers to slick shooters, these are the best NES games of all time.
The 20 Best NES Games of All Time
The Nintendo Entertainment System introduced the world to Mario Bros., Metroid, Zelda, and more
bit.ly
October 15, 2025 at 2:26 AM
SMB3 feels correct at 1, love how mega man 2 is repped here (lots of people think 3 is better…its not), but OG Zelda has to be 2. OG Mario is great but its legacy doing too much heavy lifting for it to be this high)
U.S. when???
October 14, 2025 at 7:12 PM
U.S. when???
Forgot about the little Trump “deal with the devil” inclusion in Fall of the House of Usher. Too real sir, too real! @mikeflanaganfilm.com
October 12, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Forgot about the little Trump “deal with the devil” inclusion in Fall of the House of Usher. Too real sir, too real! @mikeflanaganfilm.com
This. Over, and over, and over.
Pritzker: "This guy is unhinged. He's insecure. He's a wannabe dictator. And there's one thing I really want to say to Donald Trump. If you come for my people, you come through me. So come and get me."
October 8, 2025 at 6:31 PM
This. Over, and over, and over.
Yesssssssssss.
September 30, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Yesssssssssss.
Reposted by The First Millennial
“Fascism” isn’t a slur for politics we don’t like. It’s a precise word with precise meaning. And in the face of what’s happening right now in America, it’s the most honest one we have.
I’ll lay it out as plainly as I can. 🧵
I’ll lay it out as plainly as I can. 🧵
September 20, 2025 at 3:31 PM
“Fascism” isn’t a slur for politics we don’t like. It’s a precise word with precise meaning. And in the face of what’s happening right now in America, it’s the most honest one we have.
I’ll lay it out as plainly as I can. 🧵
I’ll lay it out as plainly as I can. 🧵
Early Caturday wet food protest. Damn you Delectables.
September 26, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Early Caturday wet food protest. Damn you Delectables.
I need ALL the legal analysis right now! Let’s go lawyer twitter, overwhelm me with what will happen in the fanciest lawyer talk you can.
September 26, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I need ALL the legal analysis right now! Let’s go lawyer twitter, overwhelm me with what will happen in the fanciest lawyer talk you can.
Imagine the kind of gullible and stupid you’d have to be to believe this. It’s like telling us Jan 6 was peaceful. I watched that shit in real time! Just like we all heard and watched you celebrate and brag about THIS. apple.news/A7n9biFWYRaK...
FCC Chair Calls The Idea He Strong-Armed Jimmy Kimmel Off The Air A Democratic 'Distortion' — HuffPost
Regulator Brendan Carr said he wasn't making threats when he told TV networks they had the choice to deal with Kimmel the
apple.news
September 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Imagine the kind of gullible and stupid you’d have to be to believe this. It’s like telling us Jan 6 was peaceful. I watched that shit in real time! Just like we all heard and watched you celebrate and brag about THIS. apple.news/A7n9biFWYRaK...
Reposted by The First Millennial
Never thought how hard South Park goes in a future episode could be a harbinger of our future, but here we are.
September 18, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Never thought how hard South Park goes in a future episode could be a harbinger of our future, but here we are.
I have never eaten at a Cracker Barrel. Am I woke?, or a MAGA cancel crusader? Who can keep up?
August 24, 2025 at 12:28 AM
I have never eaten at a Cracker Barrel. Am I woke?, or a MAGA cancel crusader? Who can keep up?
Reposted by The First Millennial
Lisa Kudrow nailed it! This was the best
Republican impersonation I have ever seen, I was even getting upset thinking this was real. Love it!
Republican impersonation I have ever seen, I was even getting upset thinking this was real. Love it!
August 7, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Lisa Kudrow nailed it! This was the best
Republican impersonation I have ever seen, I was even getting upset thinking this was real. Love it!
Republican impersonation I have ever seen, I was even getting upset thinking this was real. Love it!
“We tried grinding our mounds together out of sheer boredom” - one of the more classic lines of our time. @netflix.com #blackmirror
August 8, 2025 at 1:45 AM
“We tried grinding our mounds together out of sheer boredom” - one of the more classic lines of our time. @netflix.com #blackmirror
Wonder if Matt and Trey have any interest in running Columbia University?
July 24, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Wonder if Matt and Trey have any interest in running Columbia University?
So the MattressFIRM message with their ads is, “the biggest pieces of shit ever sleep on our mattresses”? Weird call.
July 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
So the MattressFIRM message with their ads is, “the biggest pieces of shit ever sleep on our mattresses”? Weird call.