Can we please stop putting eggs on pizza it doesn’t belong and they are expensive

Plot twist: BlueSky engineers hacked into Elon’s robot suit to performing nazi salute to get more traffic sent to their site. When they reviewed the code it turned out they forgot to execute it.

Are we finally all migrating here after Elon confirmed what everyone knew?

I’m here to start my porn career as Thomas Stiff @brazzersofficial.bsky.social I’m ready where do I sign

Free bleeding but instead of a menstrual cycle it’s really just me cutting my head while shaving and not putting a little piece of toilet paper on it you feel me

I’m calling 2024 the year of “rediscovered Tom” and rediscovered Tom is apparently developing the unhealthy quality of professional sports actually upsetting me but Juan Soto signing to the NYM straight ruined my day before I even woke up.

I came here to smoke weed and write riffs. That’s it.

Superpower: slow down time/enter hyper speed

Stupidpower: The ability to turn anything into a Reese’s branded product of any variety [I’m terrified the gas station near my apartment stopped carrying Stix and I am willing to go on a hunger strike for this (mostly bc I’ll be hungry w/o Reese’s Stix)]

Can you imagine how crisp

2020 will live on in these meme and this meme only.

Blegh