Trumpetry
@trumpetry.bsky.social
Trump satire in poetic form.
Follow my main: @sarahtoninnnn.bsky.social
Follow my main: @sarahtoninnnn.bsky.social
Reposted by Trumpetry
RFK Jr. said, “If vaccines are working for somebody, I’m not going to take them away.”
Then, he did.
RFK Jr. is a liar.
Then, he did.
RFK Jr. is a liar.
September 5, 2025 at 2:57 PM
RFK Jr. said, “If vaccines are working for somebody, I’m not going to take them away.”
Then, he did.
RFK Jr. is a liar.
Then, he did.
RFK Jr. is a liar.
Weather charts said no,
but a felt-tip pen
said yes.
but a felt-tip pen
said yes.
December 22, 2024 at 3:06 PM
Weather charts said no,
but a felt-tip pen
said yes.
but a felt-tip pen
said yes.
“You’re fired,”
was his catchphrase.
It became his policy.
Advisors came and went,
like contestants
on a show
no one wanted to watch.
December 22, 2024 at 3:06 PM
“You’re fired,”
was his catchphrase.
It became his policy.
Advisors came and went,
like contestants
on a show
no one wanted to watch.
Why say lot word when few word do trick
December 22, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Why say lot word when few word do trick
“We’re peaceful,”
they chanted,
as they smashed windows
and defecated in the halls.
they chanted,
as they smashed windows
and defecated in the halls.
December 19, 2024 at 3:13 PM
“We’re peaceful,”
they chanted,
as they smashed windows
and defecated in the halls.
they chanted,
as they smashed windows
and defecated in the halls.
He looked at the map
and said,
“Why not Alaska 2?”
Denmark said no.
and said,
“Why not Alaska 2?”
Denmark said no.
December 19, 2024 at 3:13 PM
He looked at the map
and said,
“Why not Alaska 2?”
Denmark said no.
and said,
“Why not Alaska 2?”
Denmark said no.
Remember when kids were locked up,
and people said,
“At least they’re being fed”?
Imagine setting the bar so low
that feeding children
is considered an achievement.
and people said,
“At least they’re being fed”?
Imagine setting the bar so low
that feeding children
is considered an achievement.
December 19, 2024 at 3:11 PM
Remember when kids were locked up,
and people said,
“At least they’re being fed”?
Imagine setting the bar so low
that feeding children
is considered an achievement.
and people said,
“At least they’re being fed”?
Imagine setting the bar so low
that feeding children
is considered an achievement.
He tried to buy Greenland.
Let that sink in.
A whole country.
Imagine being Denmark:
“We’re not selling.”
And Trump’s like,
“What if I throw in three Big Macs
and a round of golf?”
Let that sink in.
A whole country.
Imagine being Denmark:
“We’re not selling.”
And Trump’s like,
“What if I throw in three Big Macs
and a round of golf?”
December 19, 2024 at 3:10 PM
He tried to buy Greenland.
Let that sink in.
A whole country.
Imagine being Denmark:
“We’re not selling.”
And Trump’s like,
“What if I throw in three Big Macs
and a round of golf?”
Let that sink in.
A whole country.
Imagine being Denmark:
“We’re not selling.”
And Trump’s like,
“What if I throw in three Big Macs
and a round of golf?”
“There are very fine people on both sides,”
he said,
while Nazis held tiki torches
like they were at a racist luau.
History teachers everywhere sighed,
knowing they’d have to explain this
for the next fifty years.
he said,
while Nazis held tiki torches
like they were at a racist luau.
History teachers everywhere sighed,
knowing they’d have to explain this
for the next fifty years.
December 19, 2024 at 3:10 PM
“There are very fine people on both sides,”
he said,
while Nazis held tiki torches
like they were at a racist luau.
History teachers everywhere sighed,
knowing they’d have to explain this
for the next fifty years.
he said,
while Nazis held tiki torches
like they were at a racist luau.
History teachers everywhere sighed,
knowing they’d have to explain this
for the next fifty years.
He’s on live TV saying,
“Take it! It’s great!”
Like it’s a multivitamin
instead of a drug
that kills fish tank algae.
Some guy in Florida OD’d on aquarium cleaner
because Karen from Facebook said it worked.
The fish survived.
“Take it! It’s great!”
Like it’s a multivitamin
instead of a drug
that kills fish tank algae.
Some guy in Florida OD’d on aquarium cleaner
because Karen from Facebook said it worked.
The fish survived.
December 19, 2024 at 3:09 PM
He’s on live TV saying,
“Take it! It’s great!”
Like it’s a multivitamin
instead of a drug
that kills fish tank algae.
Some guy in Florida OD’d on aquarium cleaner
because Karen from Facebook said it worked.
The fish survived.
“Take it! It’s great!”
Like it’s a multivitamin
instead of a drug
that kills fish tank algae.
Some guy in Florida OD’d on aquarium cleaner
because Karen from Facebook said it worked.
The fish survived.
When you’re a star,
ethics don’t matter.
You just grab them
by the Constitution.
ethics don’t matter.
You just grab them
by the Constitution.
December 19, 2024 at 3:06 PM
When you’re a star,
ethics don’t matter.
You just grab them
by the Constitution.
ethics don’t matter.
You just grab them
by the Constitution.
he grabbed a diplomat’s hand
and wouldn’t let go
until they nodded
“that went well,” he said
as security peeled him
off the french president
and wouldn’t let go
until they nodded
“that went well,” he said
as security peeled him
off the french president
December 19, 2024 at 1:38 AM
he grabbed a diplomat’s hand
and wouldn’t let go
until they nodded
“that went well,” he said
as security peeled him
off the french president
and wouldn’t let go
until they nodded
“that went well,” he said
as security peeled him
off the french president
tariffs stacked like dominos
falling in slow motion
“it’s working,” he insisted
as farmers googled
bankruptcy lawyers
falling in slow motion
“it’s working,” he insisted
as farmers googled
bankruptcy lawyers
December 19, 2024 at 1:35 AM
tariffs stacked like dominos
falling in slow motion
“it’s working,” he insisted
as farmers googled
bankruptcy lawyers
falling in slow motion
“it’s working,” he insisted
as farmers googled
bankruptcy lawyers
“the g7 seating chart”
he demanded the middle
because he thought
that’s where the camera
would be
leaders shuffled awkwardly
until they realized
no one wanted
to sit next to him
he demanded the middle
because he thought
that’s where the camera
would be
leaders shuffled awkwardly
until they realized
no one wanted
to sit next to him
December 19, 2024 at 1:26 AM
“the g7 seating chart”
he demanded the middle
because he thought
that’s where the camera
would be
leaders shuffled awkwardly
until they realized
no one wanted
to sit next to him
he demanded the middle
because he thought
that’s where the camera
would be
leaders shuffled awkwardly
until they realized
no one wanted
to sit next to him
well done
with ketchup
a meal that echoed
his policies—
overcooked
and lacking
taste
with ketchup
a meal that echoed
his policies—
overcooked
and lacking
taste
December 19, 2024 at 1:22 AM
well done
with ketchup
a meal that echoed
his policies—
overcooked
and lacking
taste
with ketchup
a meal that echoed
his policies—
overcooked
and lacking
taste
he met dictators
with open arms
and democracies
with folded ones
peace became a prop
to hold
but never use
with open arms
and democracies
with folded ones
peace became a prop
to hold
but never use
December 19, 2024 at 1:21 AM
he met dictators
with open arms
and democracies
with folded ones
peace became a prop
to hold
but never use
with open arms
and democracies
with folded ones
peace became a prop
to hold
but never use
Act One: Confusion.
Act Two: Denial.
Act Three: Merchandising.
The critics hated it,
But the audience
Couldn’t stop buying tickets.
Act Two: Denial.
Act Three: Merchandising.
The critics hated it,
But the audience
Couldn’t stop buying tickets.
December 19, 2024 at 1:18 AM
Act One: Confusion.
Act Two: Denial.
Act Three: Merchandising.
The critics hated it,
But the audience
Couldn’t stop buying tickets.
Act Two: Denial.
Act Three: Merchandising.
The critics hated it,
But the audience
Couldn’t stop buying tickets.
Flags waved,
Windows shattered.
He watched from the couch,
Wondering why
They didn’t chant louder.
Windows shattered.
He watched from the couch,
Wondering why
They didn’t chant louder.
December 19, 2024 at 1:06 AM
Flags waved,
Windows shattered.
He watched from the couch,
Wondering why
They didn’t chant louder.
Windows shattered.
He watched from the couch,
Wondering why
They didn’t chant louder.
Two podiums,
One microphone,
And an audience waiting for answers.
Instead,
A word salad is served—
Mostly iceberg,
No dressing.
One microphone,
And an audience waiting for answers.
Instead,
A word salad is served—
Mostly iceberg,
No dressing.
December 19, 2024 at 1:05 AM
Two podiums,
One microphone,
And an audience waiting for answers.
Instead,
A word salad is served—
Mostly iceberg,
No dressing.
One microphone,
And an audience waiting for answers.
Instead,
A word salad is served—
Mostly iceberg,
No dressing.
He downloaded Bluesky
to “own the libs,”
but now he’s stuck
in a group chat
about queer cinema.
to “own the libs,”
but now he’s stuck
in a group chat
about queer cinema.
December 19, 2024 at 12:30 AM
He downloaded Bluesky
to “own the libs,”
but now he’s stuck
in a group chat
about queer cinema.
to “own the libs,”
but now he’s stuck
in a group chat
about queer cinema.
MAGAts log onto Bluesky,
ready for war.
But the algorithm keeps suggesting
dog rescue stories
and discussions on
whether oat milk
is better than almond.
ready for war.
But the algorithm keeps suggesting
dog rescue stories
and discussions on
whether oat milk
is better than almond.
December 19, 2024 at 12:29 AM
MAGAts log onto Bluesky,
ready for war.
But the algorithm keeps suggesting
dog rescue stories
and discussions on
whether oat milk
is better than almond.
ready for war.
But the algorithm keeps suggesting
dog rescue stories
and discussions on
whether oat milk
is better than almond.
“Melania,” I ask,
“Was I the best president of all time?”
She nods. Or maybe she doesn’t.
Hard to tell when her Botox
is more expressive than her words.
“Melania, do you love me?”
Another pause.
She looks at the pre-nup.
The pre-nup looks back.
Somewhere, a Gucci bag sighs.
“Was I the best president of all time?”
She nods. Or maybe she doesn’t.
Hard to tell when her Botox
is more expressive than her words.
“Melania, do you love me?”
Another pause.
She looks at the pre-nup.
The pre-nup looks back.
Somewhere, a Gucci bag sighs.
December 18, 2024 at 4:51 PM
“Melania,” I ask,
“Was I the best president of all time?”
She nods. Or maybe she doesn’t.
Hard to tell when her Botox
is more expressive than her words.
“Melania, do you love me?”
Another pause.
She looks at the pre-nup.
The pre-nup looks back.
Somewhere, a Gucci bag sighs.
“Was I the best president of all time?”
She nods. Or maybe she doesn’t.
Hard to tell when her Botox
is more expressive than her words.
“Melania, do you love me?”
Another pause.
She looks at the pre-nup.
The pre-nup looks back.
Somewhere, a Gucci bag sighs.
They call me Mussolini-light,
Kim Jong-diet,
Putin’s Mini-Me.
But dictators don’t have
a newsletter,
do they?
Dictators don’t throw rolls
of paper towels at hurricanes—
that’s performance art.
Sure, I’ve flirted with coups,
dabbled in insurrections,
but that’s just a networking opportunity.
Kim Jong-diet,
Putin’s Mini-Me.
But dictators don’t have
a newsletter,
do they?
Dictators don’t throw rolls
of paper towels at hurricanes—
that’s performance art.
Sure, I’ve flirted with coups,
dabbled in insurrections,
but that’s just a networking opportunity.
December 18, 2024 at 4:48 PM
They call me Mussolini-light,
Kim Jong-diet,
Putin’s Mini-Me.
But dictators don’t have
a newsletter,
do they?
Dictators don’t throw rolls
of paper towels at hurricanes—
that’s performance art.
Sure, I’ve flirted with coups,
dabbled in insurrections,
but that’s just a networking opportunity.
Kim Jong-diet,
Putin’s Mini-Me.
But dictators don’t have
a newsletter,
do they?
Dictators don’t throw rolls
of paper towels at hurricanes—
that’s performance art.
Sure, I’ve flirted with coups,
dabbled in insurrections,
but that’s just a networking opportunity.
you told the truth
once
by accident
and spent years
trying to cover it up
once
by accident
and spent years
trying to cover it up
December 18, 2024 at 4:41 PM
you told the truth
once
by accident
and spent years
trying to cover it up
once
by accident
and spent years
trying to cover it up
I eat McDonald’s.
Not because I have to—
because I want to.
It’s American.
Biden eats kale.
That’s socialist lettuce.
Not because I have to—
because I want to.
It’s American.
Biden eats kale.
That’s socialist lettuce.
December 18, 2024 at 4:33 PM
I eat McDonald’s.
Not because I have to—
because I want to.
It’s American.
Biden eats kale.
That’s socialist lettuce.
Not because I have to—
because I want to.
It’s American.
Biden eats kale.
That’s socialist lettuce.