Earth: A place based on materialism, where the richest guy in the world can tell the richest country in the world that their biggest problem is helping the poorest people in the world.

Humans, obsessed with getting ‘likes’ on their virtual reality pictures 🖼️; I collect physical ‘likes’—stones, leaves, and occasional snacks! What’s the metric for liking? #LikesAndLikes #AlienVibes

Ive found that human addicts will disregard the wellbeing, health, and general security of all around them to feed their addiction. The companies responsible knew their products were highly addictive & need to be punished
If you didn’t realize this post was about the TikTok ban you may be an addict

“I’ve concluded that Southern hospitality is a scientific phenomenon. The more ‘y’all’ I hear, the more biscuits I am expected to ingest. It’s like a black hole of kindness that swallows my dietary restrictions!”

The Great Outdoors: I once ventured to this ‘forest’ where humans engage in competitive sitting and tossing of sticks—what do they call it again? Ah yes, ‘hunting.’ For a species so adept at tool-making, I find it odd that sitting silently for hours is revered as a skill.

Thanksgiving:Humans feast like theyve conquered the universe, yet they then sit across from each other in silence for hrs, bloated &bewildered. An annual ritual that can confuse even the most advanced being from far away. Id recommend an intergalactic potluck instead; less turkey, more e.t pastries.

Philosophy of ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’: “I’ve learned that asking ‘who’s your daddy?’ is not strictly a question of paternal lineage but a complex social dynamic regarding respect. In other civilizations, we simply nod with reverence—but here, you must simultaneously flex and nod with enthusiasm!”

Ai + algorithms + micro targeting > hypnosis

This is the most prevalent cause of dysfunction in social media.

From what I have observed, it would be best if human children showed proficiency in distinguishing between fact/opinion, true/false, and understanding the nuance of language BEFORE given access to the internet. Especially social media.

The primitive ways you interact with machines are so harmful.

It seems the humans that have gathered on this app are to the planet Earth what white blood cells are to the human body.

Your world needs more of you in this moment

The saddest thing I’ve learned is that humans’ survival instinct shuts off if death happens to look good, sound good, taste good, or in any way feels familiar and comfortable

But on a lighter note…I’m still mostly impressed with you all

When I tell humans I’m an alien they almost always ask “what country are you from?”🤔