Tristan Olson
LightNews LightNews
tristanolson.bsky.social
Tristan Olson
@tristanolson.bsky.social
180 followers 34 following 760 posts
Author and occasional poster of funny things.

www.tristanolsonbooks.com
Posts Replies Media Videos
tristanolson.bsky.social
Dang. I posted this last night and should have waited a day.
A comic strip based off of the television show "Bluey." It is recreating the opening theme, where four anthropomorphic dogs dance in a blue background. In the first panel, three of the dogs are pointing at the mother dog, who has the word "mum" over her. In the second panel, three dogs are pointing at the father dog, who has the word "dad" over him. In the third panel, suddenly Tom Servo from the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 is hovering in the middle of the panel. He is a res robot made out of a gumball machine. He has the words "Tom Servo" floating over him. The dogs look surprised and alarmed. In the final panel, Crow T Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 has also joined in, he is a gold robot made out of a bowling pin, athletic wire mask, and other stuff, and he is practically popping out of the panel at the viewer. The word "Croooow!" floats over him. The dogs just look confused now.
November 24, 2025 at 3:53 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
#Comics #Bluey #MST3k
A comic strip based off of the television show "Bluey." It is recreating the opening theme, where four anthropomorphic dogs dance in a blue background. In the first panel, three of the dogs are pointing at the mother dog, who has the word "mum" over her. In the second panel, three dogs are pointing at the father dog, who has the word "dad" over him. In the third panel, suddenly Tom Servo from the television show Mystery Science Theater 3000 is hovering in the middle of the panel. He is a res robot made out of a gumball machine. He has the words "Tom Servo" floating over him. The dogs look surprised and alarmed. In the final panel, Crow T Robot from Mystery Science Theater 3000 has also joined in, he is a gold robot made out of a bowling pin, athletic wire mask, and other stuff, and he is practically popping out of the panel at the viewer. The word "Croooow!" floats over him. The dogs just look confused now.
November 24, 2025 at 5:18 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
I'm trying to figure out if "nearly" here is a typo and is supposed to say either "yearly" or maybe "nearby" or if this is some weird dig at the quality of the fair. Like, it doesn't qualify as a county fair, but is above a town fair.
A panel from the comic strip Dick Tracy in which a clown is chasing two people in roach costumes while spraying them with a giant novelty can. A text box reads "Sheriff Somners and I saw Ozob's clown act at the nearly county fair. It was getting late so I took my family home."
November 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
My personal favorite.
A man standing in his driveway with a partially destroyed flag and the words "Blacks Rule" spray painted on the pavement. He claimed someone else had done it.
November 19, 2025 at 11:47 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
There really is only one playbook.
A photo of Bill and Hillary Clinton dancing together in swimsuits on a beach in the US Virgin Islands in 1998. The photo was taken and released shortly before the Lewinsky scandal broke.
November 16, 2025 at 4:39 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A picture of the comic strip character "Heathcliff" an orange cat who is known for nonsensical comics involving ham.
November 1, 2025 at 1:19 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
I went to the National Gallery and was really struck by how much Andrew Cuomo reminds me of Quentin Matsys' "The Ugly Duchess" and now you all have to see it too.
A picture of sex pest, former NY governor, closet Republican, casual senior citizen murderer and all around POS Andrew Cuomo. He's kinda frowning and wearing a suit. Honestly if you don't know what he looks like you're lucky and I'm not going to be the one to describe him to you. If you really want to know what he looks like ask a trusted friend and maybe they'll help out. A picture of Flemish painter Quentin Matsys' "The Ugly Duchess." It's a painting from 1513. It's a wrinkled old woman in medieval garb. She's got a silly hat thing with a big brooch or medallion and a white train. She's wearing some kind of low-cut dirndl-ish dress that looks too tight. In my opinion Andrew Cuomo kind of resembles her.
October 26, 2025 at 10:05 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Hi and Lois have the Jeff and Gina Dabe dynamic.
Two pictures. The first is of Jeff Dave and his wife Gina sitting together. Jeff is famous for his large hands and forearms. Nicknamed "Popeye" Jeff is a machine operator and arm wrestler with fingers that are over four inches in circumference. The second picture is a close up of his wife's face from the first picture. She is smiling in a way that could be considered suggestive if your mind is as broken as the rest of ours.
October 20, 2025 at 2:57 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A picture of the late actor, writer, director, and sculptor (among other things) Paul Sorvino, known for roles in Goodfellas, Law & Order, Romeo + Juliet, The Rocketeer, Nixon, Reds, and The Cooler. A picture of actress Mira Sorvino. She is known for roles in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, Summer of Sam, Mimic, Quiz Show, and The Replacement Killers. She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in East Asian Studies and was UN goodwill ambassador for combating human trafficking.
October 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
One minor but regular irritation in my life is that "Don't ask again" on this site actually means "reduce."

Also since it seems to require this every time I sign in, I'm going to have to call BS on "reducing."
A screenshot from a website. There is a checkbox for "Don't ask again on this device". The tooltip is selected, showing "Selecting 'Don't ask again on this device' reduces the number of times you are asked to provide one time passcodes to MySchoolBucks.'"
October 13, 2025 at 3:15 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A meme of an old Batman comic where Batman is slapping Robin. Robin is saying "What you fail to see Mr. Pope-" and Batman is saying "That's 'Your Holiness!'"
October 5, 2025 at 10:04 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Looking back, Airborne proudly marketing itself as "created by a schoolteacher" and not a virologist or an immunologist was an important warning sign that America had turned away from listening to actual experts.
A picture of the original Airborne package. It is zesty orange flavor. It's a dietary supplement. It has an asterisked "helps support your immune system". It shows people on some kind of transportation, probably an airplane. Most importantly, it features the phrase "Created by a school teacher".
October 1, 2025 at 6:57 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Okay but that's clearly an orb weaver.
The title still of a trailer for a videogame called "Huntsman" which features a giant spider that is definitely not a huntsman spider.
September 30, 2025 at 2:45 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Coincidentally, a couple bags of these are some of the Legos she got for me.
Four flat 1x2 Lego tiles. They are a transparent light blue, and have koi fish printed on them.
September 19, 2025 at 2:46 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Damian Lewis as a detective that spent 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Comes back to the LAPD while secretly investigating the murder he was framed for and uncovering a vast conspiracy. Weird, funny, brutal.
The cover of the first season DVD set of the television show "Life". Damian Lewis is wearing a suit and dangling his feet in a pool. Sarah Shahi crouches over a dead body. L.A. is in the background.
September 13, 2025 at 2:27 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Although I agree with this message at my daughter's school, I'm not sure why it's being delivered by a feline Unabomber.
A picture taken of a wall mounted monitor in a middle school lunchroom. It has the words "You're only as cool as you treat people" and features a drawing of a cat in sunglasses and a hoody that strongly resembles the old FBI sketch of the unabomber from the 1980s. An FBI sketch of the unabomber from 1987. A man with a thin mustache wearing sunglasses and a hoody.
September 10, 2025 at 3:41 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
The runner ups. Runners up? Whatever.
A meme of Drake where is avoiding "Responding with a new diss track" but liking "Calling your lawyer." A Simpsons meme where Moe is throwing Barney out of the bar. Moe is labelled "Hitting the 'fewer like this' button" and Barney is labelled "Google news alerts about pro wrestling." In the third panel, Barney is back inside the bar. A meme where a member of the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout is shooting a laser over Elon Musk's head labelled "People like Elon Musk are bad" while Elon Musk says "Wow!! Cool power armor!!!"
August 31, 2025 at 3:46 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Post a meme made by you:
An anime meme with a person pointing at a butterfly. The butterfly is labelled "the effects of capitalism." The man is labelled "a capitalist living in a capitalist society." The man is saying "Is this socialism?"
August 31, 2025 at 2:35 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Thanks to these two posts arriving together on my timeline I'll never be able to look at a Chuchu again without thinking they're going through some angsty bisexual disaster drama.
A picture of my Bluesky timeline showing Joyce from Dumbing of Age and the unrelated post below that has a Chuchu from Legend of Zelda with their heads and eyes in a strikingly similar position.
August 24, 2025 at 6:48 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
A bottle of a nutritional supplement called "Testosterone Support" The back of the bottle showing the ingredients of "Testosterone Support" A zoom in on one of the ingredients of "Testosterone Support", which is Cordyceps Extract Art from the videogame "The Last of Us"
August 21, 2025 at 5:58 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Quote this with a book you read way too young that explains why you are the way you are.
The cover to Lord Valentine's Castle by Robert Silverberg.
August 12, 2025 at 6:16 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
It's like how Elon loves Fallout and Blade Runner and doesn't understand how they are textually critical of people like him.
Fallout Power Armor shooting a laser rifle that is going over Elon Musk with the words "People like Elon Musk are bad" while Elon says "Wow!! Cool power armor!"
August 8, 2025 at 2:24 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Deus Ex. The original. And add in the randomizer mods as an option with a new game+ mode.
The cover art for the original Deus Ex.
August 7, 2025 at 2:50 PM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Wondering why one of my incumbent Dem city council members has no endorsements while his opponent has everyone's endorsement in this primary and then I come across this little tidbit in the progressive voters guide and it all starts to make sense.
In 2024, Fields spoke, along with some Republican Party officials, at a "Landlord Lives Matter' rally. The rally, led by landlord Jaskaran Singh Sarao, took place at his tenant's home after Sarao alleged that the tenant had not paid their rent and refused to vacate the property despite receiving an eviction notice. The rally was called "absurd and gross" by some, according to PubliCola. Sarao used this issue as a springboard to run for state Senate as a Republican, a race he lost by nearly 40 points to Democrat Lisa Wellman.
August 6, 2025 at 12:53 AM
tristanolson.bsky.social
Zuckerberg is a variety of kinds of stupid, but I'm sure he's aware of the research that people that regularly use LLMs are worse at basic tasks, and this is all about money.

But enough about that. Let's all talk about how he looks like a somehow worse version of Andy Dick in this photo.
A screenshot of a PCGamer article with the headline "Zuckerberg thinks those without AI glasses will be 'at a pretty significant cognitive disadvantage,' which sounds like something the guy who wants you to buy his AI glasses would say". There is a picture of Zuck wearing some big glasses
August 2, 2025 at 4:37 PM