What is my life without the one that made it worth living?

Answer: meaning less

I wonder what it would be like if I went back.. going back to something I can't trust, but something I truly love.
Going back to long nights worrying about someone else's well being.
Going back to holding someone in my arms.
These Pro's and con's are too heavy for me to put on the scale..

When is my future going to be here?
When am I going to have a small farm, a wife, and kids? When am I going to fulfill my dreams?
The present feels like the past, and the past feels like a dark void that looms over me.
I crave the future until it becomes the present.

My life is a checklist, with box after box blank waiting to be filled in
But I have no pen to do so.
I don't know if I could fill the boxes even if I had a pen

Often I wonder what it may take for someone's heart to grow cold and I think the reason is that their heart was left out in the rain and so on rainy days I struggle because I still don't know how to convince you that I will be outside in the storm with an umbrella just big enough to cover your heart

If I had endless fortune I would be able to afford a trip to any place in the world, I could afford to eat at any restaurant every day of my life, I could afford any car I lay my eyes on, but I couldn't and can't afford to lose any more time with my love.

Gay counter

First pain brings relief.
Then comes the blood, a site only you can find calming.
Next are the scares that remind you of that sweet, sweet taste of peace while you build up the courage to bring silence to yourself forever..