I want to fuck a strap made from the microplastics in his brain.

Remembering the time I was in a seminar with this stuffy little freak named Justin and when he said "let N be any natural number" I replied "no."

In what I'm choosing to interpret as a hopeful sign, my boomer dad has started sending me Zizek content on Signal.

People who let the microwave beep are first against the wall.

I wish all these shitlib billionaire apologists would go play in traffic.

I don't want to go to a corporate dinner tonight, I want to take my SLR to the Little Caesar's on 92nd and photograph the most compellingly broken sign I've ever seen.

I love my silly transsexual life <3

CEOs are so out of touch; they don't even know the price of a pressure cooker and 5lbs of ball bearings.

Can't stop thinking about healing crystals on the airbag...

Reiki blast.

(half-dressed lubing my partner's bike chain before they leave for work)

R: (stammering) will.. you g... girl... o.o

Me: yes sweetie, I'll get the door for you.