Without the little pink things on her shorts, dunno why I included it there, suppose to be experienmental.

#StellaNBella #art #oc

I know all this sounds like self wallowing but I genuinely hate how I acted back then and how I hurt people I didn't want to hurt.
And even though I like to think I've learned from them these thoughts still haunt me so much because I've hurt them to this degree.

Maybe it's the 1.25 years of hrt I've been on, or the natural self discovery that comes with age.
Either way I want to believe I've gotten less toxic over the years, but that doesn't take away from how I've still hurt others in the past, people I care about despite how I acted.

The fact I've been a genuine nuisance, pain and bother to her without my dumbass realizing and just pretending everything was fine is painful to hear and I've been trying to be more wary of how comfortable I get with other people since.

I want to say and believe I'm over it but every so often this situation pops up in my brain and continues to haunts me, because I've unknowingly hurt and bothered someone else to this degree.
I don't want to hurt people who have done nothing wrong and yet I've been such an asshole to everyone.

Even my initial reaction to her publicly being angry at me (yet keeping me anonymous) was really damn immature of me and it's making me cringe so goddamn hard seeing how fucking bitter I was over it despite me claiming I had 'no hard feelings'.