Frodo would have been fucked if something larger than the rings had been forged. Dude was too small to be hauling some massive nonsense

Wish there were a way I could drink a beer without actually drinking it. Want another can, but I also want to lie down. Where's the alcohol in pill form?

Soup is a good word for a food. Pizza is another winner. Sandwich is a low-tier name right above barbecue. Keep it to one or two syllables

How many cigarettes do you have to eat before they start tasting good? That last pack was rough

Manute Bol was super tall. Government project probably.

The middle handle on an N64 was my first gay experience

Benicio del Toro looks like someone tried to draw Johnny Knoxville from memory

Foursquare should be in the Olympics