Stuck on a call where two men are trying to convince the other they’re right, I do not need to be on this call, send help.

I agree with Dude 1 but I don’t like him so I’m team Dude 2

I wonder what my therapist thinks of me

My best self is 2 proseccos deep at 12:30am on a Monday night (Tuesday morning?)

Cottage cheese is underrated, great food, incredible for when you just need a bowl of cheese

I know people say you change as you get older but I have actually not changed since I was 14. I have the same hobbies, same type of friends, same taste in men, same skillset, I’m even still embarrassing I’m just less embarrassed

“Am I drunk nauseous or if my uber driver the worst driver of all time ever?” — more at 11

60 degrees in nyc, i have never been sad before ever

Need to remind myself that an inhaler is not a performance enhancing drug and if I do better at the gym after a sweet sweet puff it just means I do actually have the asthma I pretend isn’t real

Thought I was craving an absolutely filthy blue cheese martini, turns out I just wanted blue cheese olives. Ate half a jar, incredible day