Tony the human
@tonythehuman.bsky.social
Just for fun so No Hate, No Racism, No Maga, No Porn, No Paypal, No DM's, Yes Horror, Yes Comedy, Yes Sci Fi, Yes Art, Yes Nerd, Yes Puns, Yes Books, Yes Laughter, Yes dance off, Yes Weird, Yes Safe Place, Yes Toon, Yes Eddie Howe, be kind, Socialist, IFB
Pinned
I‘m developing a phobia of German sausage.
I fear the wurst
I fear the wurst
My family told me to wear a bike helmet as safety is important. But now people point, stare and make fun of me. I'll never go to that spinning class again.
June 10, 2025 at 2:11 PM
My family told me to wear a bike helmet as safety is important. But now people point, stare and make fun of me. I'll never go to that spinning class again.
My wife told me “I had a dream that you gave me a beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You'll know tonight.” I said with a wink. So never wanting to let her down, I searched every shop until I found the perfect present.... A book on the meaning of dreams
May 7, 2025 at 4:20 PM
My wife told me “I had a dream that you gave me a beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You'll know tonight.” I said with a wink. So never wanting to let her down, I searched every shop until I found the perfect present.... A book on the meaning of dreams
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
April 20, 2025 at 11:22 AM
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
I just got banned from the bar for lip-syncing Karaoke.
April 19, 2025 at 10:10 AM
I just got banned from the bar for lip-syncing Karaoke.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time
April 17, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
April 16, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Its not that I didn't know how to juggle, I just didn't have the balls too
February 8, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Its not that I didn't know how to juggle, I just didn't have the balls too
My wife said she will divorce me if I keep using the kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
February 4, 2025 at 10:53 AM
My wife said she will divorce me if I keep using the kitchen utensils, but that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
February 1, 2025 at 9:21 PM
A man died today when a pile of books fell on him. He only had his shelf to blame.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
January 31, 2025 at 4:11 PM
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
My wife told me "Sex is better on holiday." Not the best postcard to receive
January 24, 2025 at 12:06 PM
My wife told me "Sex is better on holiday." Not the best postcard to receive
When I was younger, Instagram meant a really fast drug dealer
January 21, 2025 at 2:56 PM
When I was younger, Instagram meant a really fast drug dealer
I've just taken out a loan to pay for an exorcism. I'm now worried that If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.
January 17, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I've just taken out a loan to pay for an exorcism. I'm now worried that If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed.
Reposted by Tony the human
Happy Friday lovely phone family. It's -5° here. Shelter estimates in December were 345k homeless folk in England alone. The average age of death for rough sleepers is 45 for men and 43 for women.
If you're worried about anyone, please report through www.streetlink.org.uk ❤️
#HaveCourageAndBeKind
If you're worried about anyone, please report through www.streetlink.org.uk ❤️
#HaveCourageAndBeKind
January 10, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Happy Friday lovely phone family. It's -5° here. Shelter estimates in December were 345k homeless folk in England alone. The average age of death for rough sleepers is 45 for men and 43 for women.
If you're worried about anyone, please report through www.streetlink.org.uk ❤️
#HaveCourageAndBeKind
If you're worried about anyone, please report through www.streetlink.org.uk ❤️
#HaveCourageAndBeKind
I've just sent my first wife a large delivery of food, Fedex
January 10, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I've just sent my first wife a large delivery of food, Fedex
my first job was drilling holes for water – it was well boring
January 9, 2025 at 1:39 PM
my first job was drilling holes for water – it was well boring
I just found out that if you get chased by a bunch of taxidermists, you don’t play dead!
January 7, 2025 at 3:59 PM
I just found out that if you get chased by a bunch of taxidermists, you don’t play dead!