A Tony at Law
@tonyrobite.bsky.social
Former bartender so frustrated with the liquor laws in Utah that I said fuck it and became a lawyer.
Okay amigos, it’s that time of year again. I don’t have the same following here as I did on the bird app but if you’re a law student or know a law student drop an emoji or gif that describes how finals are making you feel. I’ll pick a few ppl at random and send a Starbucks GC your way. Good luck!
May 17, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Okay amigos, it’s that time of year again. I don’t have the same following here as I did on the bird app but if you’re a law student or know a law student drop an emoji or gif that describes how finals are making you feel. I’ll pick a few ppl at random and send a Starbucks GC your way. Good luck!
We love a 2 word verdict! 🧑🏼⚖️
May 13, 2025 at 5:58 PM
We love a 2 word verdict! 🧑🏼⚖️
I could never have been Andy in Shawshank Redemption because my dumbass would have gone back to jail to visit my friends like “Hey guys remember me?”
May 10, 2025 at 7:36 AM
I could never have been Andy in Shawshank Redemption because my dumbass would have gone back to jail to visit my friends like “Hey guys remember me?”
Okay hear me out: what if we brought polygamy back and just married every immigrant we could so they could get their citizenship? 😐 lol
April 30, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Okay hear me out: what if we brought polygamy back and just married every immigrant we could so they could get their citizenship? 😐 lol
Have you ever met someone who constantly praises you for how nice you are that of course you say thank you but in the back of your mind you’re like “Jesus, who were you hanging out with before you met me?”?
April 26, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Have you ever met someone who constantly praises you for how nice you are that of course you say thank you but in the back of your mind you’re like “Jesus, who were you hanging out with before you met me?”?
Got a 2 word verdict today. Hell yeah. 😎
April 18, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Got a 2 word verdict today. Hell yeah. 😎
Sorry if I talk too much. I’m just a grown up who never got over the “Hey look at this cool rock I found” phase 🙃
April 15, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Sorry if I talk too much. I’m just a grown up who never got over the “Hey look at this cool rock I found” phase 🙃
Got my first pedicure today and I gotta say, girlies, why were you keeping this a secret from us? This shit is fantastic. 🙃
April 6, 2025 at 6:08 AM
Got my first pedicure today and I gotta say, girlies, why were you keeping this a secret from us? This shit is fantastic. 🙃
I heard a piece of advice that I think every lawyer should share: a fish who keeps its mouth shut doesn’t get caught. 🤐
April 5, 2025 at 1:37 AM
I heard a piece of advice that I think every lawyer should share: a fish who keeps its mouth shut doesn’t get caught. 🤐
Got my signed bookplate for buying @davidpakman.bsky.social ‘s book “The Echo Chamber” (out now) but I bought the audio book so I have nowhere to put it. Unless… 🤔 @briantylercohen.bsky.social lol
April 1, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Got my signed bookplate for buying @davidpakman.bsky.social ‘s book “The Echo Chamber” (out now) but I bought the audio book so I have nowhere to put it. Unless… 🤔 @briantylercohen.bsky.social lol
Imagine going back 100 years and telling ppl that in the future pretty much everyone has infinite knowledge at their fingertips and ppl saying “Wow ppl in the future must be pretty smart” and you have to say to them “Nah actually it’s the opposite.” 😐
March 16, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Imagine going back 100 years and telling ppl that in the future pretty much everyone has infinite knowledge at their fingertips and ppl saying “Wow ppl in the future must be pretty smart” and you have to say to them “Nah actually it’s the opposite.” 😐
If I were a squirrel every day when I left for work I’d say “I’m gonna go out on a limb here” and my squirrel wife would laugh and laugh cuz she just gets me like that. 🐿️
March 14, 2025 at 1:06 AM
If I were a squirrel every day when I left for work I’d say “I’m gonna go out on a limb here” and my squirrel wife would laugh and laugh cuz she just gets me like that. 🐿️
Wtf is happening with housing? I went to look at an apt yesterday. Leasing agent is going over expenses. Then she tells me part of it is $340. Not for a deposit. Not for services. They want $340 JUST TO APPLY FOR THE LEASE. 😐 I walked out. I’m not giving you $340 just to apply. GFY.
March 10, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Wtf is happening with housing? I went to look at an apt yesterday. Leasing agent is going over expenses. Then she tells me part of it is $340. Not for a deposit. Not for services. They want $340 JUST TO APPLY FOR THE LEASE. 😐 I walked out. I’m not giving you $340 just to apply. GFY.
One of the court clerks reached out today because they had to reschedule some of my hearings next week. I said sure, and didn’t ask why. Well, apparently it’s because the judge got arrested. Happy Friday! 🙃
March 7, 2025 at 10:40 PM
One of the court clerks reached out today because they had to reschedule some of my hearings next week. I said sure, and didn’t ask why. Well, apparently it’s because the judge got arrested. Happy Friday! 🙃
You know how ppl with underbites will get their jaw broken so they can get surgery to correct it? Basically Trump is breaking the country’s jaw so he can try and fix it. The problem is he doesn’t know how. So we’re just stuck with a broken jaw for 4 years. But hey, at least we got plastic straws.
March 7, 2025 at 1:51 AM
You know how ppl with underbites will get their jaw broken so they can get surgery to correct it? Basically Trump is breaking the country’s jaw so he can try and fix it. The problem is he doesn’t know how. So we’re just stuck with a broken jaw for 4 years. But hey, at least we got plastic straws.
Against my better judgment I went back and looked at Biden’s SOTUs and speeches to Congress over his 4 year’s in office He never mentioned Trump’s name once. Trump mentioned Biden 13 times last night. Trump is such a pathetic and petty man.
March 6, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Against my better judgment I went back and looked at Biden’s SOTUs and speeches to Congress over his 4 year’s in office He never mentioned Trump’s name once. Trump mentioned Biden 13 times last night. Trump is such a pathetic and petty man.
Fact checkers watching this speech:
a man sitting in front of a computer with pmitf.com on the bottom right
ALT: a man sitting in front of a computer with pmitf.com on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
March 5, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Fact checkers watching this speech:
Omg I’ve never been more embarrassed to be an American as I am now. 🤦🏻♂️
March 5, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Omg I’ve never been more embarrassed to be an American as I am now. 🤦🏻♂️
One aspect of being a lawyer I didn’t realize would be a thing is how sometimes walking into court feels like being a regular at a bar. You see other attorneys and greet each other like old friends. The judge knows your name and welcomes your arrival. It’s not exactly the same, but I really like it.
March 4, 2025 at 4:15 AM
One aspect of being a lawyer I didn’t realize would be a thing is how sometimes walking into court feels like being a regular at a bar. You see other attorneys and greet each other like old friends. The judge knows your name and welcomes your arrival. It’s not exactly the same, but I really like it.
I’m on my 6th tiktok account. Why? Because tiktok flags my comments and gives me strikes. You wanna see the comments that get these strikes? They’re so fucking tame it’s infuriating. And conservatives bitch about how they’re the ones being censored:
March 3, 2025 at 7:31 AM
I’m on my 6th tiktok account. Why? Because tiktok flags my comments and gives me strikes. You wanna see the comments that get these strikes? They’re so fucking tame it’s infuriating. And conservatives bitch about how they’re the ones being censored:
My Johnny Tsunami era (is that a thing?)
March 3, 2025 at 2:21 AM
My Johnny Tsunami era (is that a thing?)
How embarrassing is it that the president of a foreign country whose first language isn’t English speaks the language better than our own president. 🤦🏻♂️🇺🇦
February 28, 2025 at 11:58 PM
How embarrassing is it that the president of a foreign country whose first language isn’t English speaks the language better than our own president. 🤦🏻♂️🇺🇦
I’m not one to body shame, but this man is 39 years old. He’s younger than me. Hate ages you. 🤦🏻♂️ #stephenmiller #trump #doge
February 19, 2025 at 2:13 AM
I’m not one to body shame, but this man is 39 years old. He’s younger than me. Hate ages you. 🤦🏻♂️ #stephenmiller #trump #doge
“To fetch the stick, one must become one with the stick”
February 6, 2025 at 7:54 PM
“To fetch the stick, one must become one with the stick”