I really think that a lot of people, when they can't understand someone, but they have the trappings of wealth, assume they can't understand because they (the listener) don't understand. Rich people can be dumb, too.

(I realize that I write as poorly as he does, but I work in IT.)

Oh, how sad.

Thanks. Yeah. A better dad would have been great, but I've had time to grieve and have made peace with it. But these boomer bigots all act like we've made these choices because Dad said he didn't like our tattoo or something. Actually, they are decisions that take years of abuse to get people to.

Like, he has said he does not love me anymore because of life choices (like, not being a 48-year-old virgin, not being married, not going to church). He thinks my friends and loved ones should be dead for how they live their lives or who they are. Why should anyone tolerate just hate and abuse?

I haven't completely cut out my family, but have no relationship with my dad because of politics. It's not just in the last decade, it has taken 40+ years to build. The last decade has just been exponentially worse. He is abusive. Not just political disagreements, actual abuse, politically motivated

Yep, I guess my way of writing is confusing, because I'm saying the same thing as you.

Though, I disagree that someone can just stop being racist without help. It could be a therapist, or some other professional, but I can't see someone who would shoot up a place, "stopping" without a lot of help.

Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing. These are not mental illnesses and you can't treat/"fix" them as such. But just like "thoughts and prayers" and other deflection methods, it's doing nothing to solve the real problem.

Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing. When someone is filled with hate, which is a social, political, religious, etc problem gets a gun and does this, saying "oh, he's mentally ill" is just ignoring the problem. It's as good as "thoughts and prayers".

Like, box breathing is not going to make you recognize others as human.

This argument already bugs me. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, hate - which are behind a lot of mass shootings - are not recognized as mental illnesses. Maybe, maybe, a willing person, with a great therapist, can grow from those issues in therapy, but these shooters are not going to do that.

I have stayed mostly away for a few months. Will have to remember to text you from time to time!