Tom Ellison
@tomellison123.bsky.social
-Climate change, disinformation, security
-Humor in McSweeney’s, New Yorker, etc.
-Board, Homes Not Borders
-Rule of 3 disregarder
Humor writing at: www.tom-ellison.com
Personal views
-Humor in McSweeney’s, New Yorker, etc.
-Board, Homes Not Borders
-Rule of 3 disregarder
Humor writing at: www.tom-ellison.com
Personal views
My man is on his 5th year of being the President of the United States
September 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
My man is on his 5th year of being the President of the United States
WANTED: Dangerous DC criminal
Known Aliases: Stinkus McGinkus, Professor Chunkman
Height/Weight: 1’2”, 32 lbs
Build: Sausage-esque
Crimes: Public Urination/Nudity, Grand Theft String Cheese, Tax Evasion
Known Aliases: Stinkus McGinkus, Professor Chunkman
Height/Weight: 1’2”, 32 lbs
Build: Sausage-esque
Crimes: Public Urination/Nudity, Grand Theft String Cheese, Tax Evasion
August 15, 2025 at 4:12 PM
WANTED: Dangerous DC criminal
Known Aliases: Stinkus McGinkus, Professor Chunkman
Height/Weight: 1’2”, 32 lbs
Build: Sausage-esque
Crimes: Public Urination/Nudity, Grand Theft String Cheese, Tax Evasion
Known Aliases: Stinkus McGinkus, Professor Chunkman
Height/Weight: 1’2”, 32 lbs
Build: Sausage-esque
Crimes: Public Urination/Nudity, Grand Theft String Cheese, Tax Evasion
Back from a phone-less week in the California Trinity Alps. Feeling great.
Weird. Anyway, time to plug back into the Lunacy Machine.
Weird. Anyway, time to plug back into the Lunacy Machine.
July 13, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Back from a phone-less week in the California Trinity Alps. Feeling great.
Weird. Anyway, time to plug back into the Lunacy Machine.
Weird. Anyway, time to plug back into the Lunacy Machine.
DMV folks! Are you in the market for a very sweet, playful, and friendly pup?
Meet Lyla, our new foster dog. She'll be at the Lucky Dog Animal Rescue adoption event Sunday 12-3 at PetSmart Falls Church (6100A Arlington Blvd, Falls Church VA 22044).
www.petfinder.com/dog/lyla-769...
Meet Lyla, our new foster dog. She'll be at the Lucky Dog Animal Rescue adoption event Sunday 12-3 at PetSmart Falls Church (6100A Arlington Blvd, Falls Church VA 22044).
www.petfinder.com/dog/lyla-769...
June 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
DMV folks! Are you in the market for a very sweet, playful, and friendly pup?
Meet Lyla, our new foster dog. She'll be at the Lucky Dog Animal Rescue adoption event Sunday 12-3 at PetSmart Falls Church (6100A Arlington Blvd, Falls Church VA 22044).
www.petfinder.com/dog/lyla-769...
Meet Lyla, our new foster dog. She'll be at the Lucky Dog Animal Rescue adoption event Sunday 12-3 at PetSmart Falls Church (6100A Arlington Blvd, Falls Church VA 22044).
www.petfinder.com/dog/lyla-769...
Damn. RFK Jr. is gonna need a backup health and wellness ambassador.
June 25, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Damn. RFK Jr. is gonna need a backup health and wellness ambassador.
This kid has a future in strategic communications.
June 14, 2025 at 6:44 PM
This kid has a future in strategic communications.
The #nokings protest for Takoma Park MD stretches further down the streets than I could see.
The Home Depot where Abrego Garcia was detained is a few minutes away.
The Home Depot where Abrego Garcia was detained is a few minutes away.
June 14, 2025 at 6:10 PM
The #nokings protest for Takoma Park MD stretches further down the streets than I could see.
The Home Depot where Abrego Garcia was detained is a few minutes away.
The Home Depot where Abrego Garcia was detained is a few minutes away.
Just going to start depositing these here @jesszimmerman.com
June 5, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Just going to start depositing these here @jesszimmerman.com
[Sighs, opens Google Doc, re-re-re-heightens all the jokes]
May 23, 2025 at 1:54 PM
[Sighs, opens Google Doc, re-re-re-heightens all the jokes]
I would sincerely love a long, serious piece of reporting on tariffs driving up costs for fitness equipment and the political implications of alienating the garage gym/Crossfit/bodybuilding vote (not traditionally a hotbed of progressive agitation).
April 8, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I would sincerely love a long, serious piece of reporting on tariffs driving up costs for fitness equipment and the political implications of alienating the garage gym/Crossfit/bodybuilding vote (not traditionally a hotbed of progressive agitation).
With the power of AI, we can finally automate our disordered relationships with food.
April 7, 2025 at 3:25 PM
With the power of AI, we can finally automate our disordered relationships with food.
With the power of AI, I will soon be able to tell if I am tired.
April 7, 2025 at 12:28 PM
With the power of AI, I will soon be able to tell if I am tired.
👏 Can I suggest a much less academically rigorous companion piece?
March 29, 2025 at 1:50 AM
👏 Can I suggest a much less academically rigorous companion piece?
This is a real part of a Tim Ferris book. Truly perfect joke construction, no words wasted.
March 20, 2025 at 8:42 PM
This is a real part of a Tim Ferris book. Truly perfect joke construction, no words wasted.
Thanks to @lukevburns.bsky.social and @jamesfolta.com for shouting this piece out in their Newsletter of Humorous Writing! Read the piece below (and sign up for their newsletter for curated funny stuff)
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bra...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bra...
January 25, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Thanks to @lukevburns.bsky.social and @jamesfolta.com for shouting this piece out in their Newsletter of Humorous Writing! Read the piece below (and sign up for their newsletter for curated funny stuff)
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bra...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/bra...
While my home state battles wildfires that have displaced 180,000 and burned the equivalent of 84% of Washington DC, we find Russian state media and the incoming President and his allies playing from the same sheet of misinformation music.
January 10, 2025 at 8:50 PM
While my home state battles wildfires that have displaced 180,000 and burned the equivalent of 84% of Washington DC, we find Russian state media and the incoming President and his allies playing from the same sheet of misinformation music.
He’s done it again
December 7, 2024 at 11:12 PM
He’s done it again
The first big road trip in the electric car is in the books, documented by the dog’s GPS collar. Pleasantly surprised that charging didn’t add much time beyond stops we would have made anyway.
November 25, 2024 at 12:02 AM
The first big road trip in the electric car is in the books, documented by the dog’s GPS collar. Pleasantly surprised that charging didn’t add much time beyond stops we would have made anyway.