My rate of needlessly sending delayed/scheduled text replies has skyrocketed in the last year, mainly because I don't want most people to know that I'm available to chat at any given moment in time

I'm all about Nepal y'all

just wanted to remind everyone that Elmo Muskrat, the biggest welfare baby in America, opened his Welfare Wallet, bought us a Pedo Prez with all that welfare money, and now expects us to forget all that and welcome him back to the right side of history

buyer's remorse sure is a bitch

Living life as a confidently proud conservative who participates in and/or supports everything that's happening right now (e.g. ICE) must be the most empty existence imaginable. I couldn't imagine a more pathetic way to live, feeling joy from others' suffering.

Shame on ICE. Shame on America.

Me turning 35 today: the battle for Youth's Keep is over...the battle for Middle Age is about to begin...

Me watching my wife express her frustration at being unable to take the lid off some beans:

I guess there are two types of people - can openers and can't openers - and we both know which one you are

Am I the only one who separates the laundry before folding it? Shirts, pants, shorts, socks, chonies, all of varying types and possibly even by color, the lot of it. I feel like it saves time but I'm probably just crazy.

I'm seeing posts on reddit about stopping the 100x trend in order to lessen the environmental impact of AI processing power

If you truly think less AI usage is what will make a leap towards escaping this dystopian nightmare, then thanks for the laugh! Let me get a ticket to your next stand-up gig

The reason customer service is such an abysmal profession to work in is because 100% of arguments, confrontations, or altercations of any kind, result in a net loss for the employee. Being right isn't worth climbing Everest when being wrong can mean some asshole simply goes away/shuts up sooner.

I truly cannot stand how bad technology is in current year. Just the simple things like how expensive devices crap out in less than a year or two, or how software/website development isn't streamlined so everything works globally like...oh I don't know...a world wide web!! Fuck capitalism

I just want to live in a timeline where 90% of the global population has Nobel [and like] prizes because we have all our needs met and spend all our time finding ways to make life better for each other

#politics