Before that I had to cobble-together baby diapers in order to fashion something that I could wear. It wasn't perfect, of course, but I was pretty good at it. Necessity is the mother of invention, they say.

Hi! They are all available on the Internet Archive at archive.org/details/abdl...

I'll stop bashing and complaining now, and end with this: I've been on the Internet trying to find people like me since the early 90s. I'm talking DPF, man. That was the first thing I found when searching for "adult diapers" on AOL!! And in that time I have yet to find my tribe. Maybe I never will.

The Agere folk agree with the ABDL folk (I'm generalizing here) that the latter are fetishists, plain and simple. However, they're gatekeepers that will shun or ban anyone that says or does anything they don't like, including have a history of interacting on r/ABDL, etc. That's dumb. 7/

Again, I am autistic and suffer from CPTSD. Both of which, in many cases, makes socializing difficult—even in virtual environments. It also manifests in rigid thinking. I excel in that. But I am also put off by it (as seen in this very thread). The third group is the Agere folk... 6/

Enough about ABDL (because I am convinced that there are others who feel like I do, but they're really, really quiet about it. And that's fine. I also do not identify with the AgePlayer community for many of the same reasons—namely, I don't feel like I belong. Of course that could be on me... 5/

I do not like being told who, or what, I am. I decide that; not some faceless, anonymous person on a forum. I'm happy if it's a kink or fetish for you. But you don't get to decide that for me. My diaper desires have been with me since I was conscious and stem from neurological issues. 4/

For example: I don't feel like I belong in online spaces such as r/ABDL for several reasons. The main reason is that the vocal portion of the members INSIST that ABDL is absolutely, unequivocally a kink or fetish. They will shout down anyone who insists that it is not. For me it is not. Period. 3/

And my CPTSD leads me to find emotional comfort in the act of being cared for like a toddler, i.e. being diapered by a "mommy" figure. There is much more to explore and learn, but just these simple truths have gone light years in explaining certain things like an outsider in online communities 2/