Twitters
@tjwitters.bsky.social
Words that haunt me - as an interview ended "I'd like to thank you for being so candid."
November 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Words that haunt me - as an interview ended "I'd like to thank you for being so candid."
No, it's fucking NOVEMBER! "Christmas shopping" starts on the 24th December.
November 23, 2025 at 8:10 PM
No, it's fucking NOVEMBER! "Christmas shopping" starts on the 24th December.
Though equally, being introduced to someone who says "Hi, I'm randy" left me floundering for a reply other than "That's nice but I've got a bit of a headache".
November 23, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Though equally, being introduced to someone who says "Hi, I'm randy" left me floundering for a reply other than "That's nice but I've got a bit of a headache".
In California you should be told that excusing an absent colleague in a meeting with "Sorry, he's just nipped out for a fag" is going to raise eyebrows.
November 23, 2025 at 8:04 PM
In California you should be told that excusing an absent colleague in a meeting with "Sorry, he's just nipped out for a fag" is going to raise eyebrows.
And-er now, the end is near
And so I face... the final curtain
My friend, I'll make it clear
I'll state my case, of which I am certain...
And so I face... the final curtain
My friend, I'll make it clear
I'll state my case, of which I am certain...
November 23, 2025 at 7:57 PM
And-er now, the end is near
And so I face... the final curtain
My friend, I'll make it clear
I'll state my case, of which I am certain...
And so I face... the final curtain
My friend, I'll make it clear
I'll state my case, of which I am certain...
I trust you wired the live terminal to the handle.
November 23, 2025 at 7:50 PM
I trust you wired the live terminal to the handle.
The Lord Haw-Haw of the 21st Century? How can you say such a thing!
November 23, 2025 at 7:47 PM
The Lord Haw-Haw of the 21st Century? How can you say such a thing!
If the "water" is as an ingredient of beer, yes.
November 23, 2025 at 7:44 PM
If the "water" is as an ingredient of beer, yes.
(Cheap joke. Sorry to hear you're still suffering.)
November 23, 2025 at 7:41 PM
(Cheap joke. Sorry to hear you're still suffering.)
X-ray *and* crutches for $2,200??? That's what you get for trying to cut corners on health costs 🤷
November 23, 2025 at 7:39 PM
X-ray *and* crutches for $2,200??? That's what you get for trying to cut corners on health costs 🤷
Reader, the OP has only one pet.
November 23, 2025 at 8:34 AM
Reader, the OP has only one pet.
So different to all the women boasting about how many vibrators they have. One double standard where women win out.
November 21, 2025 at 9:32 AM
So different to all the women boasting about how many vibrators they have. One double standard where women win out.
If it's "That" Austin Healey I doubt he would have joked about his name, unless he had a death wish.
November 6, 2025 at 5:35 PM
If it's "That" Austin Healey I doubt he would have joked about his name, unless he had a death wish.
Also every French person I try to speak French to. Me: "Pierrrre" French person: "Quoi? Ah, PierrrrRRUH!"
November 6, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Also every French person I try to speak French to. Me: "Pierrrre" French person: "Quoi? Ah, PierrrrRRUH!"
The left: From each according to their ability; to each according to their needs.
The right: MINE!! MINE!! MINE!!
The right: MINE!! MINE!! MINE!!
November 4, 2025 at 8:39 AM
The left: From each according to their ability; to each according to their needs.
The right: MINE!! MINE!! MINE!!
The right: MINE!! MINE!! MINE!!
So? Today used to be written "to day" then "to-day".
November 4, 2025 at 8:28 AM
So? Today used to be written "to day" then "to-day".
Our neighbour came round with a dish of meat in gravy: "I cooked this for my cats but they won't eat it, perhaps your dog will?" When she left my dad sniffed it and said "Bugger the dog, I'm having that for my tea!"
November 4, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Our neighbour came round with a dish of meat in gravy: "I cooked this for my cats but they won't eat it, perhaps your dog will?" When she left my dad sniffed it and said "Bugger the dog, I'm having that for my tea!"
In his defence, the manager was promoted solely because of his technical skills as an electronics engineer, his people management skills always had been absolutely zero.
November 1, 2025 at 6:22 AM
In his defence, the manager was promoted solely because of his technical skills as an electronics engineer, his people management skills always had been absolutely zero.
Unlike a manager I worked with, the employee came storming out of the office shouting "I STINK! DID YOU KNOW? I STINK!"
November 1, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Unlike a manager I worked with, the employee came storming out of the office shouting "I STINK! DID YOU KNOW? I STINK!"