The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑
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tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑
@tisfwp.bsky.social
94 followers 170 following 300 posts
Formally funded by Big Whine. Exposing the universe's injustices, one first-world problem at a time. 100% Satire. USA 🇺🇸!

https://cash.app/$JDizzle204
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tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑 @tisfwp.bsky.social · Jul 8
Our research into why we need a 45-minute "buffer" of scrolling social media before getting out of bed has hit a funding wall. This vital work cannot continue without your support.

Help us solve one of life's most pressing mysteries. Send emergency research grants to $JDizzle204, for science.
tisfwp.bsky.social
We have reached the point in December where our blood type is technically "Sugar Cookie and Panic."
The vibration is constant.
#December #HolidayStress #FirstWorldProblems
December 13, 2025 at 4:04 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
We are now commencing the traditional pivot from "Profound Gratitude For What We Have" to "Ferocious Lust For A Cheap TV."
Please prepare your credit cards.
#Thanksgiving #BlackFriday #FirstWorldProblems
November 28, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Reposted by The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑
tisfwp.bsky.social
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November 21, 2025 at 8:47 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
🟢 Nutrition Hack: So easy, even the cat approves. 🐾
Superfood Gummies pack 60 nutrients (adaptogens, prebiotics, vitamins) into one delicious, simple pack.
No stress, just easy daily energy and immunity support.
Grab your VIP spot:
www.gruns.co/pages/vip?sn...
#Grüns #Superfood #Gummies #EasyGreens
Grüns | Comprehensive Daily Nutrition
Grüns supports gut health, energy, immunity, recovery, beauty, and focus. Easily meet your daily nutrient needs with one grab-and-go snack pack of gummies. Made in the USA. No artificial colors or fla...
www.gruns.co
November 21, 2025 at 8:47 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute is engaging in "Pre-Friday Revenge Bedtime Procrastination." We are fully aware that stealing this extra hour of scrolling will be paid for, with interest, by the 9 AM version of ourselves tomorrow.
We are prepared to bankrupt him.
#FridayEve #FirstWorldProblems
November 14, 2025 at 5:47 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
Hola. #LikeMe
November 3, 2025 at 4:28 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
Shout out to Daylight Saving Time for giving us one (1) extra hour of Sunday anxiety before plunging us into the 'it's 5 PM and pitch black' psychological hellscape that will be our lives until March.
A truly brilliant trade. #Follow #Satire #FirstWorldProblems #LikeMe
November 3, 2025 at 5:02 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute finds the timeline's one-sided outrage exhausting. It distracts from our real work (like analyzing lukewarm coffee).
We require you to consume news more efficiently for our sake.
Ground News presents all sides from over 50,000 sources.

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Compare Today's Top News Headlines from Multiple Perspectives: Local, Foreign, National; Left to Right. See What the Other Side Sees. Be Well Informed.
ground.news
November 1, 2025 at 3:34 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
Saturday, 10:29 AM. The Institute is stretching. The primary sound is a series of pops and cracks, like a string of tiny firecrackers. We are unsure whether this is due to old age or our joints seizing up after a 24-hour, fun-sized candy coma.
#HalloweenHangover #FirstWorldProblems #Stretching #Old
November 1, 2025 at 3:29 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute has decided that the "fun-sized" candy bar is a psychologically manipulative and unsatisfying concept. We are turning the lights off in protest.
#HalloweenEve #FirstWorldProblems #CandyScam
October 31, 2025 at 12:32 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
InstituAll cognitive resources have been officially re-allocated from "work tasks" to "costume logistics" and "strategic candy acquisition."
We are now operating on a skeleton crew. (Pun 100% intended).
#HalloweenEve #SpookySeason #FirstWorldProblems #OutOfOffice
October 30, 2025 at 5:20 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
A stable, high-speed internet connection is a basic human need, like air or artisanal coffee. Our current connection is forcing us to live like 1990s barbarians. The trauma of this digital famine is immense.
#FirstWorldProblems #InternetDown #WhyUs #Trauma
October 29, 2025 at 4:38 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute can scientifically confirm that the most terrifying jump-scare of the entire 'spooky season' is the sound of the first unread email notification hitting your inbox. The horror is real.

#MondayMorning #SpookySeason #WorkLife #FirstWorldProblems #TheHorror
October 27, 2025 at 1:49 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute is deep in Halloween costume planning. The primary challenge is finding a culturally relevant outfit that won't cause immediate heatstroke in 85°F weather.

#Halloween #TexasFall #Follow #Like #FirstWorldProblems #CostumeCrisis #NeedCoffee
October 22, 2025 at 4:49 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
#sharktank @mcuban.bsky.social #High
October 15, 2025 at 4:30 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
For years, the Institute has been strategically identifying, analyzing, and even creating First World Problems. Where should we submit our application for the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

#MedalOfFreedom #FirstWorldProblems #Influence #CulturalImpact
October 15, 2025 at 4:27 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
It's past midnight in mid-October. The Institute is fulfilling our seasonal obligation of watching a horror movie. However, the true horror is the dawning realization that we will pay for this decision during our 9 AM meeting tomorrow.
#SpookySeason #Adulting #FirstWorldProblems #FutureRegret
October 15, 2025 at 5:18 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
October 14, 2025 at 5:03 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
October 14, 2025 at 5:59 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
three women in white suits are dancing in a room
ALT: three women in white suits are dancing in a room
media.tenor.com
October 13, 2025 at 2:20 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
#FreeTheWeed
October 13, 2025 at 2:14 AM
tisfwp.bsky.social
We are now engaged in "Aggressive Typing," a late-Friday strategy where one types very loudly to create the illusion of urgent work. In reality, we are just repeatedly typing "the weekend is almost here" and Googling pictures of dogs.
#WorkLife #FridayVibes #FirstWorldProblems #BusyDoingNothing
October 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Reposted by The Institute for the Study of First World Problems🔬🥑
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute has been diligently posting for the cause on this app for nearly a year. A question for Bluesky management: Who in the Antifa/Soros HR department handles direct deposit issues? Our paycheck seems to be missing.

#ShillLife #FirstWorldProblems #PayrollIssues @bsky.app
October 9, 2025 at 5:40 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute has been diligently posting for the cause on this app for nearly a year. A question for Bluesky management: Who in the Antifa/Soros HR department handles direct deposit issues? Our paycheck seems to be missing.

#ShillLife #FirstWorldProblems #PayrollIssues @bsky.app
October 9, 2025 at 5:40 PM
tisfwp.bsky.social
The Institute is now consuming our "Sad Desk Lunch." A culinary experience defined by lukewarm leftovers, the quiet hum of a computer, and the crushing weight of a thousand unread emails. We do this to "save time," but the cost to our souls is immeasurable.
#WorkLife #FirstWorldProblems #HumpDay
October 8, 2025 at 5:06 PM