Everything was going fine until the instant I realized that I own every fucking blade of grass on my property.

It smells like Cheech and Chongs’ armpits

Is it weird that I eat peanut butter with peanut butter chips?

Shit’s fucked up everywhere and we’re all dealing with some heavy emotions, so here’s a healthy reminder to clean your bowl once a month.

I made my final student loan payment this morning and when this posts to my account, I’ll be free from student loans for the first time since 1999.