Tim Hoelscher
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timhoelscherauthor.com
Tim Hoelscher
@timhoelscherauthor.com
1.9K followers 1.4K following 740 posts
Horror Writer | Tech: Founder, @gavagai.com | Dog Enthusiast | Cat Aficionado | Goat Manager | Chicken Aggregator | HWA Member | Married | Alpha Gal Positive | he/him/his

https://www.timhoelscherauthor.com
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Currently reading: The Radium Girls — Kate Moore

#amreading
Cover of The Radium Girls by Kate Moore
November 15, 2025 at 12:55 PM
timhoelscherauthor.com
Bumpy attacking Weeze’s tail in triptych #Caturday #FatherICraveViolence
My cat Bumpy spying my dog Weeze’s tail from his perch on the back of the sofa. The tail is out-of-frame. He has gold fur and an intent look on his face. My cat Bumpy’s paw, reaching for Weeze’s tail ensconced in the couch blankets. Only the cat paw and end of tail are visible in the pic, amongst the couch upholstery and blankets. My cat Bumpy tagging my dog Weeze’s tail from His perch on the back of the couch.
October 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
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Happy birthday to the sweetest girl in town… LOUISE! AKA “Weeze!” The big 10 today! #DogsOfBlueSky #WritersDogs
My dog Weeze looking around behind and to the right. She has gold fur and a white blaze on her chest. She is a pit bull type dog. Her left leg is missing below the elbow joint. My dog Weeze yawning and squinting. She has gold fur and a white blaze on her chest. She is a pit bull type dog. Her left leg is missing below the elbow joint. My dog Weeze with head turned to the right and left ear flapping with the movement. She has gold fur and a white blaze on her chest. She is a pit bull type dog. Her left leg is missing below the elbow joint. My dog Weeze looking directly at the camera. She has gold fur and a white blaze on her chest. She is a pit bull type dog. Her left leg is missing below the elbow joint.
October 10, 2025 at 12:18 PM
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Bumpy decided to just go stand in his little travel basket. He’s been doing this a lot. We started taking him for walks when we took Weeze, and I wasn’t sure he liked it. But now I think he’s really starting to dig it. This basket pops right onto the wheeled stroller thing
My cat Bumpy standing in his little travel basket.
October 3, 2025 at 9:28 PM
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Wistful autumn Weeze #DogsOfBluesky
My dog Weeze in bed staring wistfully out the window behind me and to the left in profile. She is a pit bull-type dog and has gold fur. Her overall affect is wistful as though considering the chilly weather to come.
September 27, 2025 at 12:36 PM
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I think I already posted about this before, but Bumpy climbs to the highest level of his condo in my office and he just writhes around up there. I am so paranoid he’s gonna fall. I guess I need to put some guard rails or something up
My cat bumpy on the highest level of his cat apartment rolling around precariously.
August 31, 2025 at 1:28 PM
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Anybody know what this is on this cucumber? I guess eggs but not sure what type #gardening
A pickling cucumber held in my hand with a mysterious yellow jellylike substance on its skin.
August 29, 2025 at 3:35 PM
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Bumpy helping with home improvement. And probably accruing some feline bad luck
My gold-furred cat Bumpy sitting between the rungs of a ladder on its side. The ladder is green with silver aluminum rungs and rests against a large bronze incense burner on an oriental rug.
August 22, 2025 at 8:48 PM
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The ridiculous MAGA perception of crime in DC makes me think of this gem
A tweet from Kristen Bartlett with an exasperated retort to Meghan McCain’s tweet about Manhattan being a “war zone.”
August 10, 2025 at 7:49 PM
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We got one of those bird camera feeders. This was kind of an alarming message when a squirrel jumped on it. Reminded me of Martin Sheen’s line, “Terminate… the colonel” from Apocalypse Now. Afaict no squirrels were actually harmed #birds #squirrels #SquirrelColonelKurtz
A message from my electronic bird feeder saying “Smart Bird Feeder automatically evicted little animal guests.”
August 4, 2025 at 3:29 PM
timhoelscherauthor.com
There was a black #bear sighting in our neck of the woods! This is less than a quarter mile from my house. This is very unusual. We just don’t get bears around here
Screen cap of a black bear inspecting a storage box on someone’s porch.
July 29, 2025 at 9:43 PM
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I wonder if this is a play on the “Maison Derrière” episode of the Simpsons? Seems unlikely and kind of obscure but it seems so coincidental
A case of “Maison Perrier” sparkling water on the grocery store shelf.
July 26, 2025 at 11:13 PM
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My wife’s grandfather made penne all’arrabbiata every year for her birthday. I first made this for her birthday a few days after he died using his ancient printout of the recipe. I was going to make something else tonight but my wife opened the binder of all his old recipes RIGHT TO THIS
An old recipe printout for penne all’arrabbiata from my wife’s grandfather.
July 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
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Somebody gave us this goat silhouette thing for Christmas last year. Never one to not use something, I built a gate around it into the chicken/goat yard. Hence the goat and slightly unhinged chicken. I’m pleased because despite the farm motif it still manages to be kinda gothy #goats #farm #gothic
A solid black farm gate with goat head and chicken silhouettes in a central window in the upper part of the gate.
July 1, 2025 at 11:06 PM
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Temptation #Caturday #DogsOfBluesky
My gold cat Bumpy eyeing the tail of my unaware gold dog Weeze from beneath Weeze where she sits on her ottoman. The impression the viewer gets is that the temptation to attack the tail is becoming overwhelming.
June 28, 2025 at 3:46 PM
timhoelscherauthor.com
I love thunderstorms. They’re like this thread of mild fear and awe that connects us to humans across the planet and across time. I feel the same thing whenever I go to the beach and listen to the surf
June 27, 2025 at 2:46 AM
timhoelscherauthor.com
I got this dope pot for my rabbit’s foot fern. But it’s unhappy with the new arrangement. Sucks. It’s an awesome plant
My unhappy rabbit’s foot fern in a new gray pot. It is basically alive and green but not thriving.
June 21, 2025 at 1:58 PM
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Fucking gross
Screencap of JD Vance’s Bluesky account. Blocked by me.
June 21, 2025 at 1:57 AM
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Catching up on #Andor and every time they say “Coruscant” it reminds me of this Poorly Drawn Lines strip
A Poorly Drawn Lines cartoon about croissants.
June 17, 2025 at 3:12 AM
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The goats felt a drop of rain which is basically goat Armageddon #goats
Two of my goats, Rosie and Gil, fleeing from a light rain. They are descending from the top of a wooden boat-like structure called the “goat boat.” Rosie is white with brown patches and Gil is white, tan and black/brown. They are Nigerian dwarf goats.
May 26, 2025 at 3:30 PM
timhoelscherauthor.com
100% accurate #git #code #SoftwareEngineering
A meme showing a bell curve implying that the normal path for developers is to wrestle with git commands to repair a repo when it’s corrupt or damaged, while the laziest and savviest developers just reclone and start over from scratch.
May 26, 2025 at 1:37 PM
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NYC bound! Weeze knows I’m leaving. The second the suitcase came out I started getting the stink eye #DogsOfBluesky
My brown dog Weeze looking sad because she knows I’m leaving.
May 16, 2025 at 2:17 PM
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Pic of our flowering rhododendron I took over the weekend. Everything smells good outside!
A flowering rhododendron with party lights in the background.
May 5, 2025 at 5:00 PM
timhoelscherauthor.com
I built this high shelf for Bumps and he loves it, but sometimes when he’s writhing around up there I cringe because he looks so close to falling. Maybe it needs guardrails or something
My cat Bumpy on a high shelf where he likes to perch.
May 5, 2025 at 1:25 PM
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Bumpy’s not mad. Just disappointed. #Caturday
My cat Bumpy. He has golden fur and is sitting with his paws on the arm of a chair
April 27, 2025 at 12:06 AM