Held back. Repeating the third grade.

"hey you fuckheads remember when your ceo got greased in broad daylight and all of the hoi polloi celebrated"

I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT M

I save a lot of money both by being car-free and bike-free

Over or under your Dirty Hippie shirt

Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien, to be exact

Your Walmart stolen valor desert "camo" cosplay doesn't play so well against stark white and slate gray? Your little masks aren't keeping your widdle faces and nosies warm enough on your shifts?

Greg Bovino is 5'4" tall

master race my fuckin' ass

The University of Chicago, Michigan's One True Rival.

Get lost, Ohio State, it's been a long second marriage but you could never

Two vaccines AND a blood draw?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU FRENCH BASTARD

[nodding] The powerhouses of the cell, of course.

I wouldn’t be mad if it looked like this on Christmas Day