This reads like a Jon Bois post

It’s weird that a (presumably) devout Christian would be this openly petty and hostile towards a stranger, seemingly always forgetting like the main tenements of their lifestyle.

I hope you donated the cat food and threw everything else away. Cheers from SW MO!

Will you put a timestamp thing in the bottom right corner?

My fiancée described this as her, “Tom Hanks getting Covid moment.”

I’d wanna be crucified in a city like Phoenix too. Congrats on the tour

This read more like the Babylon Bee

If Haley thought about leaving me every time I burped in her face, we’d be miles and miles apart by now. Good luck!