I almost did something really stupid. I'm sorry.

I don't think I'm strong enough.

I'm so tired. So very tired of life.

The worst part about telling people that I'm tired is that they play it off as just sleep deprivation or something. I’m so tired. In every sense of the word. In every regard of my being. I feel like the weight of the whole world, my world, is on me and I’m buckling. How long can I go like this?

I think I might leave the fandom entirely. Just cut everything and everyone off related to the fandom.

I've been feeling like I don't belong and that everyone I know only talks to me when I text them. I could go for so long without texting people and they wouldn't notice I stopped talking to them.

I wonder how many people would notice if I just disappeared and stopped responding.

What's even the point for having friends anymore. Not like what I say will have any effect anymore.

It's not like I even matter all that much to the one of the people I care most for. But who cares, right? We're all going to die eventually so what's the point in trying to keep a friendship going