The thread o’ tweets
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threadotweets.bsky.social
The thread o’ tweets
@threadotweets.bsky.social
23K followers 1 following 2.4K posts
All the tweets I love, a few I hate. A few skeets too! Posted individually this time instead of threaded

Posting in large batches, pls address complaints to dennisbhooper

Alt text added but reply w/ additional description as you see fit. Also bluesky @‘s
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threadotweets.bsky.social
Devon Price @drdevonprice its fast fashion to You. im wearing a forever21 sweater i got during the bush administration 10/10/21
March 19, 2025 at 3:32 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Lauren L Walker @LLW902 the simple fact of the matter is that those of us who committed every sea shanty from Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World to memory are just better prepared for prolonged isolation than the rest of you 3/16/20
March 19, 2025 at 3:30 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
name cannot be blank @stfuayen when i randomly remember one of my shirts i haven't seen in a while (Morty from Rick and morty waking up confused)
March 14, 2025 at 9:59 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
horse deals @heymermaid "This bad boy can fit so many oats" I slap the thoroughbred on his flank and he takes off running. I start to cry and jog after him
March 14, 2025 at 9:57 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith I love that Slow Horses is mainly one spy who strategically makes himself so disgusting that he's effectively invisible and one spy who is unforgettably handsome and is always running top speed and shoving people out of the way shouting MOVE IT, I'M A SPY
March 14, 2025 at 9:23 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen. landlords should not exist except as a mean nickname sailors call us
March 14, 2025 at 9:22 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
dave karpf @davekarpf Aug 26, 2019 This afternoon, I tweeted a brief joke about a well-known NYT op- Ed columnist. It got 9 likes and 0 retweets. I did not @ him. He does not follow me. He just emailed me, cc'ing my university provost. He is deeply offended that I called him a metaphorical bedbug. Alright fine... here is the email: (Screenshot of the email from Bret Stephens) From Bret Stephens, New York Times Stephens, Bret< to dkarpf, gwprovost 9:10 PM (59 minutes ago) Dear Dr. Karpf, Someone just pointed out a tweet you wrote about me, calling me a "bedbug." I'm often amazed about the things supposedly decent people are prepared to say about other people -- people they've never met -- on Twitter. I think you've set a new standard. I would welcome the opportunity for you to come to my home, meet my wife and kids, talk to us for for a few minutes, and then call me a "bedbug" to my face. That would take some genuine courage and intellectual integrity on your part. I promise to be courteous no matter what you have to say. Maybe it will make you feel better about yourself. Please consider this a standing invitation. You are more than welcome to bring your significant other. Cordially, Bret Stephens (Top of screenshot of Prof. Karpf’s original quote-tweet) Dave Karpf @davekarpf The bedbugs are a metaphor. The bedbugs are Bret Stephens. Stuart A. Thompson @stuartathompson Breaking-There are bedbugs in the NYT newsroom.
March 13, 2025 at 10:17 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
helena @freshhel I understand tht a very popular personality to perform rn is like "glamorous philosopher" but some of you are stupid
March 13, 2025 at 10:13 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
the heart @Fredward3948576 I am beyond blessed to inhabit the Earth at the same time as the moose, a beast of considerable proportions
March 13, 2025 at 10:11 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Oscar Meyer Lansky @Medium Reginald "So yeah, this is my dog" "Hey there pal! How are you doing?" "And this is my cat" [nods] "Comrade."
March 13, 2025 at 10:08 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social alright everybody stand up for this person to sing a really hard song about the war of 1812 solo a cappella, if they fuck up it will haunt them forever. then we'll play some baseball
March 13, 2025 at 10:05 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
@raxkingisdead I like the whole Gondor/Mordor thing. All cities should have an evil version right across the river, like DC and Arlington
March 13, 2025 at 10:02 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Alec Sulkin @thesulk "Wanna listen to The Band?" "No. I'm just going to sit on an accordion while watching a Civil War documentary." Dec 29, 2017 Robbie Robertson @r0bbier0berts0n Wish I could've written for the Cleveland Show, instead.
March 12, 2025 at 1:50 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Warrior Cop @wyatt_privilege instagram used to trick ppl into fucking up bc you'd be used to double tapping a pic to zoom in and surprise you just hearted some girl's beach pic from 2 mos ago. same shit back in spirit by telling ppl who watches their stories 11/19/18
March 12, 2025 at 1:45 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Jax Philosopher Queen @Diamond_Jax Bluey referenced "mitochondria" and I immediately said to my 4yo "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" like a sleeper agent who just heard their activation phrase
March 12, 2025 at 1:44 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Coolee Bravo @BravoCoolee Twitter the only place where well articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say "I like pancakes" and somebody will say "So you hate waffles?" No bitch. Dats a whole new sentence. Wtf is you talkin about.
March 12, 2025 at 1:43 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Argon Dreamcast Evangelion @synthandlasers Stan Lee: "So this guy has the powers of a spider. But we need a villain. What's the natural enemy of a spider?" Jack Kirby: *claws his way out from under a three-hundred pound pile of cocaine" "Goblins"
March 11, 2025 at 9:15 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh I love watching movies. Very few things I love more than watching movies. But choosing what movie to watch? WOATed activity. Bottom of the barrel use of leisure time
March 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Commander Ikari @NERV_Com the fact that i'm at risk of seeing a 14 year old's opinion at any point during my day is a human rights violation Aug 30, 2020
March 11, 2025 at 8:57 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Christopher @molochofficial theologians don't want you to know that you can defeat any vice or sin by accelerating it. A few years ago I became so greedy that I had a reverse-mystical experience and decided that everything in the world already belonged to me, rendering material acquisition redundant.
March 11, 2025 at 8:53 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Rachel Shukert @RachelShukert The South had a culture of grotesque cruelty but tolerance for personal eccentricity and the Midwest had a culture of basic decency combined with total insistence on social conformity and now the two bad parts have come together to form the horror we have now 6/20/22
March 11, 2025 at 8:34 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
The Baller of the First Sin @ByYourLogic the pallas cat shows you really don't need to reinvent the wheel to make something great. it's just a denser cat with a 30 percent more expressive face and it's amazing. they didn't kill themselves trying to make a whole new animal, they just altered some things and made a hit
March 11, 2025 at 8:33 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Rory Blank @BoneJail my brain tells me that height and age are the same thing and anyone taller than me is older than me and any time you see two similar looking people near eachother the taller one is the dad like every time i see the rock standing next to vin diesel I think "that's his dad"
March 11, 2025 at 8:31 PM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Matt @matttomic every time I see an Angels highlight it's like "Mike Trout hit three homes runs and raised his average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something that hasn't been done since 'Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen, as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3" May 17, 2021
March 11, 2025 at 9:38 AM
threadotweets.bsky.social
Grimes @Grimezsz I'm not a communist - I'm probably a capitalist but I think the incentives in capitalism are bad, and the dollar shud be backed by something more meaningful - like trees. I know that's insane and likely impossible but I'm an artist so my job is to say things like this
March 11, 2025 at 8:03 AM