Giles1st
@thosearentpillows.bsky.social
I'm here for the jokes.
He'll pray with you, offer you food, ask for a donation and nonsensically chant, but after that, he gonna sho*t dat a**.
Are you feeling lucky?
Are you feeling lucky?
December 1, 2025 at 10:39 PM
He'll pray with you, offer you food, ask for a donation and nonsensically chant, but after that, he gonna sho*t dat a**.
Are you feeling lucky?
Are you feeling lucky?
"Please tell emergency services to hurry. I've just killed my child's pet gerbil."
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
November 29, 2025 at 11:32 PM
"Please tell emergency services to hurry. I've just killed my child's pet gerbil."
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
It's a vintage silver pill box. Once dad's ashes are inside, the jeweler will laser it shut and I'll pick a chain. Dad is always in my heart, now he'll also be around my neck.
November 23, 2025 at 3:19 AM
It's a vintage silver pill box. Once dad's ashes are inside, the jeweler will laser it shut and I'll pick a chain. Dad is always in my heart, now he'll also be around my neck.
My wife said I can have a giraffe if we win the lotto but I'll have to ride it to work. Hit me up if you need giraffe milk.
November 12, 2025 at 12:53 PM
My wife said I can have a giraffe if we win the lotto but I'll have to ride it to work. Hit me up if you need giraffe milk.
You can only push a pooh so far. (Gravity takes care of the rest.)*
*double entendre
*double entendre
November 7, 2025 at 5:21 PM
You can only push a pooh so far. (Gravity takes care of the rest.)*
*double entendre
*double entendre
DO NOT BUY THIS!! IT BURNS YOUR PENIS! My surgeon is recommending 6 more sessions of skin grafts. My Lawyer thinks I have a case. The company that made the product is out of business so we're suing Ebay®️ directly. There was nothing on their site indicating that I shouldn't put my penis in it.
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
DO NOT BUY THIS!! IT BURNS YOUR PENIS! My surgeon is recommending 6 more sessions of skin grafts. My Lawyer thinks I have a case. The company that made the product is out of business so we're suing Ebay®️ directly. There was nothing on their site indicating that I shouldn't put my penis in it.
Sometimes your mom chooses the cucumber and sometimes the cucumber chooses your mom.
October 16, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Sometimes your mom chooses the cucumber and sometimes the cucumber chooses your mom.
Rob Ryan looks like Hulk Hogan ate an entire box of Twinkies®️.
September 11, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Rob Ryan looks like Hulk Hogan ate an entire box of Twinkies®️.
September 7, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Scalding vaginas one at a time.
August 29, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Scalding vaginas one at a time.
My wife snapped this photo of me skipping a rock on the bay, & I'll be damned if this isn't my new signature dance move.
#AntsInMyPants
#ILikeToBoogie
#MyParentsDroppedMeOnMyHead
#AntsInMyPants
#ILikeToBoogie
#MyParentsDroppedMeOnMyHead
August 14, 2025 at 11:03 AM
My wife snapped this photo of me skipping a rock on the bay, & I'll be damned if this isn't my new signature dance move.
#AntsInMyPants
#ILikeToBoogie
#MyParentsDroppedMeOnMyHead
#AntsInMyPants
#ILikeToBoogie
#MyParentsDroppedMeOnMyHead
1) That's not a koala finger. That's a common house fly's penis under magnification.
2) If ever wrongly accused of a crime, use a local koala as reasonable doubt in court.
3) The photo on the right is my penis under magnification.
2) If ever wrongly accused of a crime, use a local koala as reasonable doubt in court.
3) The photo on the right is my penis under magnification.
August 3, 2025 at 3:29 PM
1) That's not a koala finger. That's a common house fly's penis under magnification.
2) If ever wrongly accused of a crime, use a local koala as reasonable doubt in court.
3) The photo on the right is my penis under magnification.
2) If ever wrongly accused of a crime, use a local koala as reasonable doubt in court.
3) The photo on the right is my penis under magnification.
I've volunteered to be shrunk to microscopic size and inserted into vaginas in need, along with a crack team of scientists. Together, our mission is to rejuvenate, probe and refresh.
July 15, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I've volunteered to be shrunk to microscopic size and inserted into vaginas in need, along with a crack team of scientists. Together, our mission is to rejuvenate, probe and refresh.
Plan on attending? Purchase your Trump branded gold Truck Nuts®️ for the low, low price of $129.99 and show off your patriotism. 3"x3" pieces of the South Lawn sod will also be for sale. Guaranteed stepped-on by Trump.
July 6, 2025 at 10:05 AM
Plan on attending? Purchase your Trump branded gold Truck Nuts®️ for the low, low price of $129.99 and show off your patriotism. 3"x3" pieces of the South Lawn sod will also be for sale. Guaranteed stepped-on by Trump.
I'm actually okay with this. I'd like to see that photo.
July 6, 2025 at 10:04 AM
I'm actually okay with this. I'd like to see that photo.