Chunky Soup Cruz gettin cooler by the minute

Also I was at CVS to stare overwhelmed at hair styling products because I want to look cute at a wedding on Saturday and I wish someone would just say BUY THIS because I have no idea what I'm doing? Someone come make me look like this:

Happy anniversary of the day the monorail went over my wedding, featuring @toddjohnson.boats

Correct.

Sure why not

Was walking to the bank and an old lady on a bench had one of those wallet phone covers and she was holding it open right in front of her face while she talked on the speakerphone like she was trying to look inconspicuous.

Not really, I had to google alliterative author names