The Unsharted One
@theunshartedone.bsky.social
The one who does not shart
Wow baby, this avocado is cooked to perfection 👌
November 16, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Wow baby, this avocado is cooked to perfection 👌
❗️❗️CDC ANNOUNCES NEW ANIMAL TESTING LAW❗️❗️:
"As long as everyone's having fun"
"As long as everyone's having fun"
October 16, 2025 at 11:06 PM
❗️❗️CDC ANNOUNCES NEW ANIMAL TESTING LAW❗️❗️:
"As long as everyone's having fun"
"As long as everyone's having fun"
Your honor, it was a PT Cruiser, does that really count as "Grand" theft auto?
July 23, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Your honor, it was a PT Cruiser, does that really count as "Grand" theft auto?
I'm excited to announce my new department store named Faust's, our slogan is "Fantastic bargins, at a terrible price"
June 20, 2025 at 7:25 AM
I'm excited to announce my new department store named Faust's, our slogan is "Fantastic bargins, at a terrible price"
Anyone else up theying they them?
May 18, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Anyone else up theying they them?
If you really think about it pants are basically chastity cages.
April 26, 2025 at 12:39 AM
If you really think about it pants are basically chastity cages.
Them: hey man glad you could come to the party tonight, was you're robot wife not able to join?
Me: yeah we got mechanically separated a while back
Me: yeah we got mechanically separated a while back
April 14, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Them: hey man glad you could come to the party tonight, was you're robot wife not able to join?
Me: yeah we got mechanically separated a while back
Me: yeah we got mechanically separated a while back
As a pessimistic narcissist with low self esteem in horrified that I'm better than everyone else, and I'm not all that great
April 6, 2025 at 5:56 PM
As a pessimistic narcissist with low self esteem in horrified that I'm better than everyone else, and I'm not all that great
Gay furry Walter White be like: I'm the one who knots"
March 27, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Gay furry Walter White be like: I'm the one who knots"
In a world where it's creampie or get creampied, one man will fight the system...
March 26, 2025 at 3:02 AM
In a world where it's creampie or get creampied, one man will fight the system...
I call my plans condoms because bitches keep picking holes in them
March 25, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I call my plans condoms because bitches keep picking holes in them
Spouse abusers with non-binary partners be like: who up beating they them
March 23, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Spouse abusers with non-binary partners be like: who up beating they them
Oh, so you're unable to bring people back from the dead genie. That's fine, instead I wish you would create a perfect genetic clone with their most recent memories placed in their mind.
March 4, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Oh, so you're unable to bring people back from the dead genie. That's fine, instead I wish you would create a perfect genetic clone with their most recent memories placed in their mind.
Really? You expected me to believe you got the egg plants permission for this?
February 24, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Really? You expected me to believe you got the egg plants permission for this?
My wife and I have a running streak of not thinking about the human centipede, well guess what bitch we both just lost lol
February 20, 2025 at 1:29 AM
My wife and I have a running streak of not thinking about the human centipede, well guess what bitch we both just lost lol
Y'all ever just a piece of dried spaghetti as a treat? Like right out the box and crunch crunch crunch
February 19, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Y'all ever just a piece of dried spaghetti as a treat? Like right out the box and crunch crunch crunch
"The bad Sonic's name is Shadow and I hate him"- a small child in line at Target, talking a lot of mad shit for someone in kicking distance
February 14, 2025 at 3:27 AM
"The bad Sonic's name is Shadow and I hate him"- a small child in line at Target, talking a lot of mad shit for someone in kicking distance
Me summoning my last braincells to remember how to get the date in SQL
February 12, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Me summoning my last braincells to remember how to get the date in SQL
Oh no! My serotonin! Someone has inhibited its reuptake!
February 4, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Oh no! My serotonin! Someone has inhibited its reuptake!
At&t: hey we noticed the internet was out at your place and even though you didn't noticed we went ahead and refunded you for the time it was inaccessible.
@xfinitysupport.bsky.social : OH WHAT NOW YOU EXPECT YOUR INTERNET TO WORK JUST BECAUSE YOU PAY FOR IT?!??!
Based on a true story
@xfinitysupport.bsky.social : OH WHAT NOW YOU EXPECT YOUR INTERNET TO WORK JUST BECAUSE YOU PAY FOR IT?!??!
Based on a true story
February 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
At&t: hey we noticed the internet was out at your place and even though you didn't noticed we went ahead and refunded you for the time it was inaccessible.
@xfinitysupport.bsky.social : OH WHAT NOW YOU EXPECT YOUR INTERNET TO WORK JUST BECAUSE YOU PAY FOR IT?!??!
Based on a true story
@xfinitysupport.bsky.social : OH WHAT NOW YOU EXPECT YOUR INTERNET TO WORK JUST BECAUSE YOU PAY FOR IT?!??!
Based on a true story
"Did you know you can buy a turkey from the supermarket, take it home and whatever you do with it is between you and God" -me when people use words like "brining"
February 1, 2025 at 2:28 AM
"Did you know you can buy a turkey from the supermarket, take it home and whatever you do with it is between you and God" -me when people use words like "brining"
Growing up is the Jelly Belly Factory Outlet store closing.
February 1, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Growing up is the Jelly Belly Factory Outlet store closing.
Did you hear Nintendo announced their new console? It's called Switch 2.
Yeah more like Switch 2 a better console
Yeah more like Switch 2 a better console
January 19, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Did you hear Nintendo announced their new console? It's called Switch 2.
Yeah more like Switch 2 a better console
Yeah more like Switch 2 a better console
New Google update with a focus on mental health will send a push notification offering to connect you to mental health services if it detects you listening to the same song 30 or more times in a row.
January 16, 2025 at 12:16 AM
New Google update with a focus on mental health will send a push notification offering to connect you to mental health services if it detects you listening to the same song 30 or more times in a row.
She was a Dive Bar Karoke girl, he was a Hipster Brewery Karoke boy, can I make it anymore obvious?
January 12, 2025 at 1:43 AM
She was a Dive Bar Karoke girl, he was a Hipster Brewery Karoke boy, can I make it anymore obvious?