Proud to welcome Beetlejuice to the writing staff, and excited to see how he innovates late night comedy.

Tonight's guests are Jim Beam and Captain Morgan, with special musical guest Quiet Sobbing from the Closet.

Tonight's quests are retrieve a magic item, murder an orc, and find a flower.

oh god damn it, who hired the D&D dad to write these promos.

No guests tonight. It's Bingo night! Bingo is my coke dealer.

We're back! Did you miss us?

Goddamnit. Anyway, tonight's guests are guilt, ennui, and madness. With special musical guest, Måneskin.

Going dormant on this account for 10 months, for the bit.

Tonight’s guests will be KD Perry, Kaydee Perry, and KT Perry, but we won’t let any of them sing or sell their clothes.

Wishing a speedy recovery to Jay Leno, but we did warn you to return the company laptop, and policy is policy.

I, the Great Baba Vegas, will now predict the biggest fun stories for coming week.
1) Washington Post oped explains 'Democracy is more of Mushroom'
2) Stranded astronauts on ISS will admit making up spaceship trouble to avoid awkward 2024 holiday dinners
3) All past pardoned turkeys will be deported

Tonight's show has been cancelled. Our scheduled guests stole the green room coffee maker and the good chair.

In the spirit of the recent @theonion.com acquisition of Infowars, in keeping with our very different financial condition, we're proudly announcing our bid to purchase the 1996 Presidential campaign website of Bob Dole and Jack Kemp.

That's a wrap. What a fun show tonight. Join us tomorrow. We'll host a panel of the most influential Democratic election pundits explaining why fundraising can't let up, followed by a visit from our friends at the East Texas Man Eating Lion and Tiger Preserve. It's gonna be something. Don't miss it.

Fake spectacle featuring a bloated and wrinkled blob, the smell of decay, and actors playing scientists. Wonder if they can make it to DC in January for an encore.

Tonight’s guests will all be named Kevin. You’ll have to tune in to find out if it’s any of the fun ones.

I, the Great Baba Vegas, will now predict the biggest fun stories for coming week.

1) Dr. Phil will be nominated as the 'Not that kind of Surgeon General'.

2) An asteroid discovered to be headed for Earth will suddenly change course, in disgust.

3) Texas and Florida will merge, becoming Flexas.

Wonder if bobcat would come back and light fire to the furniture again.

Tonight's guests are ennui and maladroit rage! Special musical performance by quiet sobbing. Tune in for the fun.

Tonight's show features our world famous and fun WeSuck segment, with fun special guests Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow, and musical guest The Kid Rock Fun Experience. Tune in for the fun!