Steven David
@thestevendavid.bsky.social
Professional Photographer
I once found a naked 80-year-old man in the dark. It wasn’t hard.
September 22, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I once found a naked 80-year-old man in the dark. It wasn’t hard.
Air fryers are just Easy-Bake ovens for adults.
August 23, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Air fryers are just Easy-Bake ovens for adults.
I'm now at the age where "picking up a hottie at the club" means grabbing a rotisserie chicken at Sam's.
August 23, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I'm now at the age where "picking up a hottie at the club" means grabbing a rotisserie chicken at Sam's.
I'm so old that I can remember when " log on" meant throwing some wood on the fire.
August 23, 2025 at 4:20 PM
I'm so old that I can remember when " log on" meant throwing some wood on the fire.
I accidentally got locked inside a mirror shop last night.
Still, it gave me time to reflect.
Still, it gave me time to reflect.
August 23, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I accidentally got locked inside a mirror shop last night.
Still, it gave me time to reflect.
Still, it gave me time to reflect.
I eat cake every day because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere!
August 18, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I eat cake every day because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere!
Does anybody else sing in the car? I do, but only while I’m in reverse. I’m a backup singer.
August 16, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Does anybody else sing in the car? I do, but only while I’m in reverse. I’m a backup singer.
So, I heard the company that makes yardsticks isn't going to make them any longer.
June 29, 2025 at 6:11 PM
So, I heard the company that makes yardsticks isn't going to make them any longer.
While in the store today, I overheard a lady saying she wants a man that takes her breath away. I farted and left her gasping for air.
June 11, 2025 at 2:28 PM
While in the store today, I overheard a lady saying she wants a man that takes her breath away. I farted and left her gasping for air.
Failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
May 21, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count.
I'm Tom Bodett, and we'll leave the light on for you.
May 10, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I'm Tom Bodett, and we'll leave the light on for you.
Sometimes it takes me all day to do nothing.
March 30, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Sometimes it takes me all day to do nothing.
I may be a 5 on a Florida beach, but I'm a solid 10 in an East Texas Walmart.
March 28, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I may be a 5 on a Florida beach, but I'm a solid 10 in an East Texas Walmart.
Bread bowls are not dishwasher safe.
March 19, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Bread bowls are not dishwasher safe.
I made some bad choices in life but I never bought a pair of crocs.
March 13, 2025 at 12:19 PM
I made some bad choices in life but I never bought a pair of crocs.
I went out in public and the public was actually there. The audacity.
March 5, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I went out in public and the public was actually there. The audacity.
I learned square dancing in 4th grade because you never know when a hoedown will break out.
February 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I learned square dancing in 4th grade because you never know when a hoedown will break out.
They better not touch my Social Security as that is my money.
February 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM
They better not touch my Social Security as that is my money.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their Wi-Fi bill.
February 1, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their Wi-Fi bill.
The problem with talking to people on the phone is that they expect you to pay attention.
January 31, 2025 at 4:50 PM
The problem with talking to people on the phone is that they expect you to pay attention.
You know it was a rough day when your iPhone doesn't recognize your face.
January 30, 2025 at 4:32 PM
You know it was a rough day when your iPhone doesn't recognize your face.
Don't come to me for advice. We'll just end up sharing meds.
January 26, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Don't come to me for advice. We'll just end up sharing meds.