“I don’t need another list of forbidden foods. I need someone to tell me it’s okay to eat white rice for the sixth meal in a row like it’s a hostage negotiation.”

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#spoonies #spooniehumor #chronicillness

"Eyewitnesses report that upon hearing Jessica’s comment, Emily fell silent for exactly 4.7 seconds, during which she mentally drafted Jessica’s obituary."

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#spoonie #spoonietimes #chronicillness #chronicfatigue #chronicpain #autoimmunedisease #neuropathy

“Hey, it’s not much, but it’s something,” said Sarah Jones, who’s already on her second card. “I’ll take any win I can get. Plus, I’m saving up the heating pads to build a throne. It’ll be the coziest revolution ever.”

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#spoonie #spooniehumor

“Oh, a jog? In the morning? For energy?” replied local spoonie and sarcasm expert, Marla Blankenship. “Why stop there, Chad? Why not add a quick brain surgery to the routine? Nothing says ‘energized’ like peeling yourself off the operating table by 7 a.m.”

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“It’s like my body has a sixth sense for sabotage,” Alex told reporters while draped in a weighted blanket, sipping herbal tea, and staring wistfully at a missed wedding invitation on the fridge.

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#spoonie #flareup

As the clock strikes midnight and we roll into 2025, Spoonies everywhere are setting bold, life-altering goals that are sure to change absolutely nothing.

#spoonie #spoonieprobs #satire

Ho, ho, ho, Santa Claus is not coming to town after a local spoonie, Kelly Harper, predicted a record-breaking blizzard using nothing but her aching joints and uncanny knack for pre-flare weather intuition.

#spoonie #spoonieprobs #satire

Body parts across the globe have declared a coordinated strike, citing "extreme workplace conditions" and an "unsustainable management strategy by the brain."

#spoonie #spoonieprobs #satire

“I didn’t start out with the intention of breaking a record,” Jamie explained, surrounded by her towering masterpiece. “It just… kind of happened. One prescription led to another, and next thing I knew, I was the Picasso of pharmaceuticals.”

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Thank you for your patience while I went AWOL in the name of “progress.” I promise, next time I vanish, I’ll at least leave behind a sticky note that says “brb, side effects.”

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#spoonie #satire #thespoonietimes #chronicpain