I just spent $100 that I can’t afford on fucking food and I wasn’t even hungry. I was just sad.

I restrict all day I barely calories all day, but it’s never enough because once something terrible happens all of that hard work is just down the drain

Being blissfully ignorant was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me, and I hate that I had to grow out of it

I wish I could go back to when I was younger when I was happy when I was skinny when none of this mattered being an adult sucks. I have to worry about a job that I can’t hold an apartment that I’ll never get in a future. That’s out of my reach.

When I eat, it’s like I can’t feel anything anymore. It’s like I have control over this situation. I just think about what I’m eating and I forget everything but the guilt that comes after hurts me so badly when I look at myself and I hate what I look like

Tysm for the kind words it helps alot